1.) When showering, do you start the water and then get in or the other way round?
What a remarkably pointless question. I start the water, make sre i have the right temperature and then get in. Only a fool does otherwise.

2.) Do you read the labels on your shampoo bottle?
Only to see whether its actually shampoo and that its not meant for dyed red hair or something, Other than that, to my shame, no.

3.) Do you moan in the shower like the people on the herbal essence commercial?
Yeah really loudly so the street can hear…

4.) Have you ever showered with someone of the opposite sex?
Oh yes, many times. More difficult that you’d think actually as there’s not a lot of room.

5.) Have you ever been forced to shower with one of your siblings?
Err no, and if anyone else has i’d suggest they contact tne police immediately

6.) Have you ever brushed your teeth in the shower?
hahaha no! But its an idea…

7.) Have you ever dropped your soap on your foot?
Ok this is getting very dumb now, but yes i should imagine that i have.

8.) How old do you look?
I think i look my age - 27, but it varies from person to person reagrding other people’s opinions. Depends on my mood, level of tiredness and other things. Right now i look like i’ve had a ‘Jack Bauer day’.

9.) How old do you act?
Some people say that you are one age for a lifetime. I’d say i’m emotionally a 4 year old (and that’s probably being generous), and socially much older as i spend all day with men in the 40s and 50s who have a lot of money.

10.) What’s the last song you listened to?
“Do It Again” By Boiler Room

11.) Have you recently become a member of anything?
Nothing i can talk about publicly. because i’d have to kill everyone. I have more fingers in more pies than anyone i know.

12.) What are your plans for the weekend?
Choc cake with Zair, business catch-up with mum, reconnaissance for Talk TS, dinner with a very special lady, perving at Chorly, finishing up loose ends from work and invading Kerri’s house to behave badly with the gorgeous Tor and Hazel.

13.) Do you kiss with your eyes opened or close?
Closed mainly, but a bit of both. Its amazing how many chaps don’t ever take the time to learn how to kiss properly - 90% there, then let her approach for the last 10%…

14.) Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull?
Nope, and i never plan to as the day i do it i’ll feel like a Baptist redneck! If you want to feel something hard and throbbing between your legs, you’re gay.

15.) Do you ever intentionally vomit after eating?
Only if someone starts talking about fat chicks, their gooey lovely boyfriend (you know who you are) or how good reality TV is.

16.) If you were working on a pirate ship, what would you most likely be?
The mischievious renegade who’s ever so slightly more psychotic than the captain.

17.) Have you ever called anyone a slut?
Plenty of times, and they fucking deserved it.

18) Have you ever been called a slut?
Many times (all over the weekend - yes mel that would be you, and several times this week), and i absolutely fucking deserved it.

19). Have you ever smuggled something into the UK?
Yep, but no more details will be forthcoming. Got really, really high on some fabulous coke with Tanner as the plane was taxing off to fly to Africa. How on earth we got away with that amazes me.

20). Does playing the guitar make a girl/guy more attractive?
Not a girl for me, but judging by the sheer multitude that have thrown themselves at me over the years after i’ve barely strummed a chord, yes it certainly does. I believe they call it “social proof”.

21). Do you live in a city with a good sports team?
Well right now i’m a nomad who loves between loads of different places, so team Nomad is stretched slightly thin on the ground.

22). Have you ever finished off the popcorn?
Wtf is this madness?

23). How many people do you think would come to your funeral?
More than i think, i would imagine. I often think about that, as having the end in mind and thinking about how you will be remembered is very healthy.

24). How many of them would come just to make sure you’re dead?
Loads, and i’ll be watching so i know who’s house to haunt. My will specifies that i am to be exploded/blown to pieces with high explosives, so i reckon that will draw in the crowds somehow.

25). Do you have more enemies or more friends?
Friends, luckily. Although i used to have a lot more enemies before they were in the museum. Thats changed over the years as i’ve become more positive and diplomatic (yeh ha ha i know). I honestly believe there is enough good will from the help and mentoring i have given to people that i could move the world now.

26.) Have you ever sent an anonymous letter?
Had a think back about this, and i don’t think i have. I’ve always put my name to poison pen letters though as i want them to know who is hurting them.

27.) Can you fix your own car?
Up to a point - can’t most chaps? I can go up to the basics but need to learn more. I know how to blow one up….

28.) Have you ever turned someone down for a date?
4 in the last 2 weeks - Tanya because i just didn’t fancy her, Vicky as i didn’t want the hassle, Trinny as she seemed to think she could manipulate me to do anything she desired, and Susan as she fucking pissed me off by being useless. I try not to though as i truly believe in giving everyone a chance in all aspects of my life, believe it or not. Inspiration and wonderful things come from the smallest and most unlikely places.

29.) Are you smarter than your friends?
Depends on how you define smart. They all seem to think i’m some kind of genius, which is lovely but almost certainly untrue. I don’t define smart by academic qualifications - wisdom is the real prize. They are all smarter than me in different individual parts of their lives.

30.) Have you ever stolen anything from your friends?

31.) Have you ever been to jail?
Been arrested loads of times (think 8 or so?) for lots of different things, but never committed permanently - criminal damage, drugs, assault, weapons, being an arrogant little smartass etc. Never a bad person, just a very angry one.

32.) Should you have?
No. Confinement is about the worst thing that could ever happen to me - what i needed was help.

33) Do you like the smell of beer?
When freshly poured, yes, but not when its been rotting behind a bar or on someone’s rancid breath.

34.) Have you ever died or killed someone in a dream?
A lot. So realistically that i’ve woken up wondering if i’ve concealed my tracks properly.

35.) Have you ever given to charity?
Yes - in financial terms and my expertise. I work regularly with FareShare and some other homeless organisations, lending them expertise, ideas and contacts. Bought a tramp a crate of dog food once for his puppy as i was feeling very emotional that day. Stupid really, but the doggie was happy.

36.) Would you kill a dog for $1000?
If it was suffering and it could be done quickly and painlessly, yes. Otherwise, not for a million pounds. My soul is worth more than.

37.) Do you sometimes get depressed?
I have clinical anxiety/depression, so yes. And before you ask, no it doesn’t hinder me at all, and yes, its surprising i know. In fact, i’m grateful for it. Therapy, man, therapy. Lots of exercise to get the aggression out.

38.) Do you live with your parents?
Half the time right now, yes, but i’m house-hunting in South London at the moment whenever i get the time. Mum’s business is now running and both Jose and the nephew are safe. I’ve been here for a greater reason, as much as its driven me insane.

39.) Do you have plans for your future?
More than anyone knows, as i plan on being the most powerful man on Earth. An empire in fact - more businesses, the grand amigo adventure, TV, kids, politics and so much more. Yes you will figure it in it somehow, but i don’t know how yet.