- Last thing you burned while cooking?
I burn everything when i cook, as i’m so hopelessly incompetent in the kitchen. The trouble is that i don’t get the concepts of being subtle with temperature and it not being a giant chemistry experiment. What i lack in ability i make up for in enthusiasm though.

- Describe yourself in 3 words?
Passionate, visionary, bloody-minded

- How long does it take you to get ready for your day?
Deoends on how tired i am and how vain i’m feeling. From waking up to getting out the door i’d say around an hour, as i need to check my mail, eat breakfast, make calls and do all the usual stuff. I have been known to roll ut of bed and run out of the door too though.

- Are you a health freak?
I would like to be. Haven’t been to the gym in a while and its beginning to take its toll as i’m needing more and more walks in tne countryside to calm myself down. I just seem to lack the discipline when it comes to healthy eating too, and i never manage to make the time as there’s always something else to do.

- How many people have you thought were the one?
Two very seriously and many others transiently. Thank the lord for wisdom, as they all have been so hopelessly wrong - the heart has reason that reason knows not of.

- What turns you off about opp sex?
I have a very big list. Stupidity. Bimbo behaviour. Mediocrity. Nagging. Unrealisitic expectations. Bad dress sense. Loud, crass speaking. Undignified drunkenness. Desperation. Game-playing.

- What kind of car do you drive?
Only occasionally drive the sis’ car, but had a licence (complete with 18 points) for 10 years

- Favorite thing to toast to?
My toasts are legendary apparently. An example one to - “to new friends, the wisdom of intuition and the small things that change everything as we know it, without us even knowing it.”

- What celebrity would you have coffee with?
Bill Gates. I wouldn’t spend a minute in the company of all these other supposed “celebs” as they are vacuous, self-serving pretentious mannequins.

- What celebrity would you not have sex with?
Victoria Beckham - for all the money in the world.

- What is the main ringtone on your cell
Just a normal phone ring as it can get very embarassing in business life. I want the “24″ phone tone though.

- Last TV show you watched?
Green Wing and ER last night whilst talking to the nadda and chorly.

- Who is your best friend?
Not sure on this as its a bit of a school thing. I’d have to say the other legs of the tripod - Tanner and McKelvie (team amigo). I have an inner circle of close friends rather than one supreme attachment.

- Who in your family do you get along with?
Hardly any of them as they are all fucking insane. Probably my sis (as much as she drives me mad), as as much as i get along with my mum, i don’t trust her.

- What is your top 5 hollywood hottie list?
Wish i had one. I’m a chap for dark features though, so the likes of Kelly Brook, J-Lo etc would be in mine.

- When/where was the last place you travelled?
Well i’m on a train to London now, and was in Cambridge yesterday. Flown internally a few times in the last few weeks though, so i guess that counts. Internationally it must have been Amsterdam for IBC.

- How many times have you been in love?
Thats a very interesting question. I’m not sure i even agree with the term “being in love”, as i can’t place it in my emotional landscape. Love is what you show to others by the care you take of them, romantic love is generally a mix of feelings - infatuation, addiction, cathection, intimacy/bonding and the rest, that develops into a greater unconditional commitment you make to someone. I think i’ve been in love maybe 4 or 5 times, but looking back it probably wasn’t love at all.

- How old will you be in 10 years?
37 - argh!

- Sinful snacking weakness?
Right now, its Mini-Eggs.

- Best clothing style?
I’m a fucking mess, despite everyone thinking i’m suited most of the time. Staples are flared/boot-cut trousers (jeans or formal), minimal jewellery, “neutral” and/or conservative styles that withstand seasons and trends.

- Ever run out of petrol?
Several times, and claimed to have been a lot more surprised that i was. Dad’s had to rescue me from the M25 a lot.

- Do you have a BF or GF?
Not right now, and not planning on it for a very long time. Came out of a relationship that was a car crash in slow motion last year, and now its all about me until i’ve built the world i want and decide to let anyone near me. Haven’t met a girl yet who could change my mind or seduce me enough.

- Worst date ever?
One particular time where i made as a graceful an exit as possible because the robot drone i had decided to spend time with didn’t seem interested in having any conversation whatsoever. No snobby behaviour or shyness, just expecting me to entertain her for hours on end. If i’d stayed any longer she would have getting a smack across the chops. Bizarrely enough, she started pestering me afterwards to see her again, which i had to refuse as diplomatically as possible.

- Personal Records?
8 days without any sleep whatsoever (not even 2mins to rest my eyes)? That was crazy, and painful too. Have a few others but they are far too rude to put here.

- Total jail time?
Approximately 3 days total spent in police custody, but not hard time (or “bird” as its called). Next time i’m going to havw a pack of rabid lawyers and some very interesting friends in very interesting places, which should spice it up again.

- Have a crush on anyone you work with?
Several - Hasna my bank manager, as she’s unbelievably beautiful, unobtainable and so formal with it, which is a real turn-on. Flirting at work is very good for business, naturally.

- What is something you believe in?
The infinite capability in all people to extend beyond themselves and do extraordinary things. God, the evil of human nature and vested interests are up there too.

- What is something you fear?
Myself, hence the title of my book - “The Battle Against Myself”

- Big or Small?
How fucking asinine. Medium, just for spite.

- Worst physical pain you ever experienced?
Clearly i’ve blacked out a lot of things in my mind as i can’t remember. I’ve felt emotional pain very physically though, which i think counts.

- Tell us something about your childhood?
It was very violent, i was closer to my nan than to my primary caregivers and i was the only child i knew of that genuinely felt intense hate at that age to their parents.

- Best time to catch you in a good mood?
When i’m playing with Zair. When you see me smoking a cigar, having had a massive success or when i’m addressing a gorup of people about life, the universe and everything.

- If you could be anything for a day, what would it be?
A man who had the ability to stop/slow time and move around in it, as the possiblities would be infinite.

- Most prized possession?
My mind. Physically, my laptop or geetar.

- Would you ever sell it?
The former in the guise of intellectual property, yes every day. The latter, only if i decided to pack up and become a Nepalese goat herder, which is unlikely for the foreseeable future.

- Do you think your ex misses you?
I know she does, and i sense it painfully so feel so guilty, but we all have to move on. More grateful each day that she’s gone though.

- What is one of your pet peeves?
When people make it difficult for me to have what i want. if they are foolish enough. Littering, false modesty and small talk also piss me off.

- Favorite actor/actress?
Jonny Depp as he’s just sheer acting talent in a bundle and way ahead of any of his peers.

- What song are you listening to right now?
“Nausea” by Machine Head - some of the best vocal processing in music history.

- If you could sucker punch someone right now who would it be
She shall remain nameless

- Any secrets?
Lots, in fact i’ve even thought about sending one in to the amazing postsecret.com because it would be highly amusing..

- Unhealthy addictions?
Nadda, caffeine, cigars, incandescence and being judgemental, the sedative effects of amitriptyline

- Unhealthy fascinations?
Nadda, conquering the known world, dwarf porn, my own dark side and love of power

- Favorite sexual position?
Ok my sis may just be reading this so i’m going to totally side-step this question. Email me for the answer

- What do you notice first about opp sex?
Hair - and you thought it was going to be boobs, ass and legs. Hair, figure/shape, boobs, eyes…

- Favorite physical part of the opposite sex?
I’m a massive eyelashes fan, but eyes also strike me too despite not being able to remember the eye colour of anyone i know.

- What physical part would you change about yourself?
I have a laundry list, but i’m not willing to draw attention to them as the chances are you probably haven’t noticed yet and won’t until i show you

- Soft sensual sex or Porn Star sex?
Depends on context, but sensual i think as its more spiritual and intense than porno-style, which is essentially just filming the excretion of bodily functions - charming!

- Would you go on a date with someone you met online?
Yeah why not? By then you’ve had the chance to get to know a little bit so you know where the common ground is, which isn’t there in offline situations.

- What is your best physical feature?
Most people say my eyes, as they don’t have a fixed colour and are quite intense. The other thing is always “i can’t pinpoint it, its just something about you, an x-factor maybe”.

- Do you think anyone actually has read this far?
I’m pretty sure everyone has, as whenever i post crap like this people mail me saying how much they enjoyed the answers because they were different and interesting