Do people think you’re happy?
I ‘m not sure of that, simply as i don’t see happiness as a permanent state of being - its a transient feeling like all the others. A person is happy for a moment in time rather than their general disposition, and only stupid schoolgirls think otherwise. I’m very positive, cheerful and enthusiastic a lot of the time, so the side of me makes people laugh and help to sync with others and find that gorgeous rapport thats so important. When its a bad day, everyone knows about it. But i’d also say hardly anyone knows me at all really, because i don’t let anyone know. I had it imprinted in me from the beginning that doing that gave others power over you and got you hurt.

Are you happy?
Right now? Probably not as much as you think i am. I’m content and excited, but hysterically happy? This part of my life is very, very exciting, so yes i’ve been feeling very optimistic and insipred about the future. I’ve always felt like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, and that a burden of black clouds and expectation slows me right down. I have years of baggage that need even more years of therapy, and i still depend on my emotional “shock defenses” for everything, which is only necessary in the immediate aftermath of major trauma and unhealthy in normal life (i never learned how to cope with things ina normal healthy way). Dissatisfaction with your world is sometimes the driving factor for its change. If only people saw what the life i’m living takes out of me.

What band would you stand in line for 24 hours to see?
The original Guns N’ Roses, no question. Then again i would loved to have seen Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Layne Staley & Alice In Chains and a few others. Seriously, what possesses people to camp outisde venues and record stores? I don’t get that at all.

If you were in a band, which role would you be?
Well i’ve been in bands, as i’m a guitarist. Bizarrely enough its what i was known for in my early years, as opposed to now when everyone knows me for business, writing and speaking in public. Lead was my thing (as it is for all bedroom widdlers), but over the years i’ve come to appreciate the importance of playing as a whole band, learning different styles and the role of rhythm instruments. Self-conciousness has a part in that too i think, and the fact that the girls have grown up and don’t fall for it like they did before.

What do you love most in the whole world?
Hard to think of one thing, so i’ll name a few as they all mean a lot to me. My nephew’s dirty cackle and strange noises when he’s being naughty. The sun on a long summer evening. The sparkle in a beautiful girl’s eyes when she smiles and the funny feeling you get when you know you’re just about to kiss. Signing up a new client. Seeing people grow, evolve and fight their demons. Getting lost in music when you’re playing it. Feeling in control of your life and knowing you have the ability to genuinely change the world around you. The silence, complexity and tranquility of nature on a peaceful walk in the woods. Standing ovations after capturing people’s hearts. Waves of technological innovation and inspiration. The slow realisation that you have chemistry and rapport between you and another person. Witty, quick-fire conversation.

What was your worst childhood experience?
I have quite a few to choose from here too, but i won’t go into details. Probably best just to say that my father was a very cold and violent man who stopped being violent when i was big enough to defend myself. Life in my family wasn’t just dysfunctional, it was emotionless, cruel and downright horrid. My parents were funadmentalist christians who saw the devil in everything except themselves and had no understanding of who i was and what i needed, so i bonded with my nan as my only sanctuary until she died when i was 10. Forgiveness gets harder each day you remember more things that need another page in an already existing catalogue of horror.

Would you ever consider prostitution as an occupation?
Depends on whether it would be as a gigolo and/or rent boy and who my clients were. Everyone says they would never, ever consider this, but i doubt there is one street prostitute in the world who decided on it as a career move, which is why its known as the oldest profession in the world. When you have no money or hope, your body is the only thing you have left to sell - and after a few times, it becomes painless and passe. I’m just grateful i’ve never had to go to those lengths or suffer in that way. But the more upmarket, business-savvy individuals lead a more safe and profitable life. Are there prostitutes for lesbians? That would be cool.

Do you dance and sing at the top of your lungs when no one’s around?
Rarely, but sometimes. Our family is very musical so there is always music on the background, someone playing an instrument and/or singing away. I have to have the TV, radio or stereo on all the time ad often find myself singing away without knowing. Not singing my lungs out, although its supposed to be very therapeutic. I really can’t dance at all, which Mel and Roxie found hilarious this week when they dragged me into a line dancing bar in Wimbledon and tried to make me join in the lessons they were giving that evening. I look liek an epileptic in front of a strobe light, but with less drooling and frothing around the mouth.

Do you like rainy days?
When its been sunny for a long time. I wonder if the British actually enjoy the misery of dark days as its cosy and familiar. Places like California don’t have seasons like we do, and its one thing i’ve missed when being in equatorial countries where the seasons are “dry” and “rainy”. Rain is Africa happens on a schedule at the same time every day, for the same amount of time, and dries up within 20mins at the same time. There’s a great season in V For Vendetta (see it) where the female character has an epiphany after being tortured and she stands on the roof of a building, discovering what her mother ment when she said “God is in the rain”.

You can trade another person’s emotions for your own. Whose do you take?
Wow. An emotional transplant eh? Well i think it would have to be a woman’s, simply as i’d love to experience the madness of hormones and being totally ruled by the heart, but only for a short time as i’d go mad otherwise and Boots would have to evening primose oil left in their stores. I’d love to take the darkness in my own heart and force it on all the people who have wronged me so they could not just see, but feel the pain they have caused. In fact i’d like to do what happens in The Crow, and carpet bomb the heads of a few people with concentrated emotional pain accumulated over the years for a few seconds so it knocked them over.

Name the stupidest person you know.
We don’t have time for me to list all the stupid people i know. I don’t keep grades other than “retarded” and “extremely retarded” - they are all fools in my very judgmental, self-righteous, smartass opinion. Stupidity is often about people acting on emotional impulses without thinking through what they’re doing, and it makes you wonder whether anyone would do things if they were made to face the consequences before they did them. But i’ll name and shame a few. The father of my nephew springs to mind. The barbie bimbo on the Babestation set who wanted to know how to spell “ebay” wasn’t exactly a mensa genius.

What’s your normal state of mind?
Frustrated, twisted and enraged. But i hide it well. You’d think i was calm, rational and good-natured, because you don’t see whats in that mind. I’d describe it as a massive spaghetti junction of smasked up cars, lightning bolts, violent turmoil and everything moving at 1000 mph to get to into my mouth and hands. You’ll pick it up in my insomnia, handwriting and tone of my voice, as i can’t use any of them fast enough to repreent what is flying into and out of my head. Intensity is a good way to sum it up, although i always have my barbie moments. No idea where the emotions fit in, as i’m generally completely numb unless something has built up to impossible limits and/or i’ve been profoundly affected.

What’s your perfect date?
I’m a laid back chap and don’t tend to like the formality of “dates” at all as it conveys expectation and makes people feel awkward. For me, i just have coffee with anyone and everyone and enjoy a fertile, sassy conversation to find out whether the spark is there and the chemistry is burning away. Easiest thing then is just to have dinner somewhere ambient and atmospheric and see where things lead. If i wanted to do an amazing one, we’d fly out on private jets for dinner in Paris or Rome and have drinks on the top of a mountain/volcano. Yes i know, not too practical. All depends on the person and what she was into, as you’d build something especially for her.

Are you stubborn?
Less than you’d think. I’m certainly bloodyminded and cavalier. I don’t keep my interest in things long enough to be stubborn about them as i always need space in my head for other things that crop up. I have core values and principles that will never change and can’t be bent around circumstances, so fucking with those will get you written off very quickly indeed. I try not to be stubborn for the sake of being stubborn, as its a lot of energy for very little and mostly utterly pointless as it makes other people dig in their heels as well. You have to argue your point and be passionate though, so it depends on how other people peceive it. Sometimes stubborness is passion.

If you could relive some years of your life, which ones would it be?
Things are always so much clearer in the rear view mirror than they are in the foggy windscreen. I’m not sure i would, as i wouldn’t be the person i am today without all the pieces that put me together. The process of going through them and making all the mistakes always has a purpose, and that is to form and shape you for the challenges to come. Maybe if i relived them, i wouldn’t have learned the valuable lessons that have served me so well. I guess its a case of regret. i wish i’d been stronger and broken up with Amanda earlier, and i wish i hadn’t been so downright horrid to Mima when she was suffering at the hands of everyone around her. There are times i wish i hadn’t been self-adsorbed and selfish, and times when i wish i’d been a lot more harsh and outspoken than i was.

Are your friends your shield or do you need a shield against your friends?
In most cases, your friends are your shield. In my case, they’ve been my shield more recently as i’ve opened up a bit more and alowed people to care for me - i’m truly grateful for the real friends and i know who they are a lot more than i did when i was younger. I’ve never trusted anybody at all, simply as there has been a repeating pattern since i was young of the people who were supposed to care for me betraying and hurting me. It was never a case of incidental damage either, more deliberate active rejection and aggression. I have my own shield now.

Do you often let people down?
When i was younger i couldn’t give a shit at all, and abused time and trust on a daily basis. Its become my pet peev more than anything. Nowadays i do my damnest not to let anyone down, hurt anyone or even make them feel uncomfortable as it makes me cringe. I fail a lot, and i feel shit even for the little things. Where i can i try to make it up to people and reward them for their trust and patience, as its my way of saying thank you and sorry. I’m lucky to have friends who are very understanding of my lifestyle and general madness, as it can be trying for anyone. If i was a friend of mine, i’d get fed up very quickly. Luckily my friends are mostly better people than me.

Have you ever felt invisible to those around you?
Hasn’t everyone? I was always more worried about sticking out. People tend to tell me i have the “gift of the gab” and “x-factor”, which is pretty useful as i’m not really a male model type. But there is a flip side to all things, and that very advantageous charisma puts your head above the parapet. In my case, it ususally gets it chopped off. If the truth be known, i don’t really think i’ve ever really meant anything to anyone, because i don’t let me know enough to get attached or even know me properly. Some days i wish i was invisible, although its ironic as what i’m doing with my life means my profile gets higher every time i do something right.

Are you a one night stand or serious relationship type person?
Depends on my mood and the person, but generally speaking i’m a relationship guy. One night stands are fine if thats exactly what it is for both of you, or if its just an explosive and passionate start to something more long-term. I don’t get people who can deliberately sleep around without feeling or consequence, as being with someone is so much more intense and enjoyable when you have an emotional or spiritual connection with them. I’ve had my share of both, and i get the desire to satisfy immediate impulses and the honesty and intimacy of someone permanent in equal measure.

What was/is going to be your first waltz at your wedding?
My god the though scares me. You have to waltz? Fuck that. I can’t dance so it would have to be something really simple that i wouldn’t look like a tit trying to do. The sheer soppiness of the whole thing would probably get to me too as i’d want everyone to share in the experience with us. Perhaps an old Sinatra tune, a timeless classic that was easy to enjoy and set a peaceful and romantic tone. Weddings are traditional boring and draining, so i’d want something very exciting, with intense theatre and an event that would keep people stimulated and wanting more instead of tired, drunk and wanting to go home as soon as possible.

When it’s not summer, what do you miss most about it?
I can just imagine that most people answering this would say “the sun”. Probably true, but not exactly imaginative as we have sun in winter, spring and autumn too. I’d miss summer working hours, beautiful girls looking extra-beautiful in their summer outfits, silly games in the park, working on the roof of the building and long lazy evenings in the beer garden talking about love, life and everything. Everyone is in a better mood, and you can see it when you look at countries where sunlight is stronger - the people are of a much more cheerful disposition. Summer’s only fun when you have winter to compare it too though, as if it were all year long it wouldn’t be special anymore.

Do you consider yourself patriotic?
Its rightly said that patriotism if the last refuge of the scoundrel, and of course its the tool of right-wing extremists and governments who want to coerce their citizens. I’m not a flag-waving, anthem-chanting Englishman who hates johnny foreigner  and toasts the queen, but i am proud in some ways to be British. I think thats very true of many people in this country as we’re an old nation, whereas in the comparatively newer ones, that hysteria is more intense. We have a lot to be ashamed of too, and it needs to be kept in balance. The problem with patriotism is that it is always based on looking backward - our new empire is not about armies or land, it will be about knowledge, specialised skills and intellectual property.

How much do you care about your family?
A lot more than i did, thats for sure. If you’d have asked me that 5 years ago i wouldn’t have shed many tears for them. Don’t get me wrong, i love them dearly and i would be especially upset if anything happened to my sis as despite the hell and sibling rivalry we’re one and the same. I worry about my mum a lot as she’s trapped in an evil destructive co-dependent cycle with a heroin addict, and i worry about my dad he doesn’t seem to care about the things that matter and he’s almost certainly going to end up a lonely old man if he doesn’t move on soon, meet new friends and start dating again. It goes without saying that i love Zair more every day, even when i think its not possible i could love him any more.

What is the one thing that you need to do to die happy?
Self-actualise, so i can say this is the way i used to be. Have built a billion-dollar empire based on a worldwide TV/digital media technology company that does for TV what the internet did for communication. Thats the one goal in my life above all else, that my vision is realised and comes to fruition. The money’s great, but what i truly want to is to have done something no-one else has, to do a set of amazing things that inspire and excite people. Having some great kids to take on the empire would be great too, as i want to be a really cool dad - one who is known to be generous and kind when it matters.

Do you consider yourself mainstream?
I think i do, although i’m definitely eccentric and looks are very deceptive as the first part of my life was about saying fuck you to everyone and everything. Everyone i knew fought to be an individual when they were in college, and nothing i ever did could have been considered mainstream as i rejected it all delibverately and in some ways subconciously. As i’ve become a bit more peaceful and dealt with a lot of that hatred, i’ve allowed myself to be a bit more like everyone else. So suits are now ok, as is liking things that other people do. I’ve never wanted to be like “them”, but as i’ve found out who i am as a person, its slowly become ok to be just that.

What’s the riskiest thing you’ve ever done?
I’ve done some absurdly stupid things in my life that could have gone very, very wrong. Such as dealing drugs, taking too many drugs and suffering from alcohol poisoning, driving drunk, being arrested more times than i care to count, chucking things through piolice station windows, firing fireworks as myself and making explosives, starting masive fires, not revising for any of my exams, driving fast and nearly crashing my car more than once at very high speed and so much more. But the biggest risk of all has been casting off the 9 to 5 life, having faith in what i believe and sacrificing everything to pursue my vision. Nothing compares to that.

Do you go with the flow or do your own thing?
I do what the fuck i want, even if i’m tired an can’t be arsed. I absolutely won’t be told what to do or be subject to someone else’s agenda, because it puts me at their mercy and i’m an insecure control freak that wants everything his own way and will complain bitterly if he doesn’t get it. Going with the flow is great, but its also being a sheep, whereas i’d rather be a shepherd even if i’m the only one in the flock. It gets easier to think that way the more you do it, as passiveness and going with the flow also becomes a habit - only that makes you lazy, thoughtless, indecisive and weak-minded. I’ll risk the isolation to avoid that.

What is life’s greatest mystery?
Wow, what a question. There’s a lot, and my god how i love even thinking about them as it sums up how beautifully complex this world can be. Why are we born in a perfect state with everything we ever need to know and then spend years unlearning it to become adult? Why does music affect us so deeply? Why are we capable of such beautiful thngs as art yet also capable of the most terrible evil? If there are so many people around us, why do we feel so alone? What is time? Do aliens exist? What was the point of dinosaurs? Why is spirituality religion so important to people? What is the soul? Why is homo sapiens the only creature that systematically predates its own species? Why do people think money will solve their problems? Why are some people sexually attracted to children and/or animals? Why do girls play games when they never have a positive outcome and they could communicate properly?

Do you often degrade people without knowing it?
i think i sometimes do it subconciously by cutting people off and being a very intense conversationalist. If i knew i was doing it i’d be mortified as nothing makes me feel worse than me making people feel bad. The exception is when i’m in a foul mood and deliberately indulgent, not having the energy to be considerate to other people. Maybe there are days when i’m more judgemental than i realise and my bluntness knocks people over, although degrading has a very serious implication of lowering a person, dishnouring and/or disgracing. There have been times i’ve done it because i’ve felt someone deserved to be brought down to size or they were just full of shit.

Do you try your best at everything?
When we were in school, you lowered the risk of being humiliating by never trying. If you did well, you could claim you were some sort of genius as you hadn’t worked, and if you failed, you could say it was because you never bothered to try. That mindset is still heavily embedded in a lot of people i know, and its turned out that they are so scared of failing that they never try at all because the risk is a step too much. Eventually it becomes a habit and you settle for your lot and achieving nothing of any consequence, and by the time you do want to do something, its already too late. I think i’ve come through that, and it came from discovering that its the journey that matters, not the outcome. Someone wisely told me a long time ago that no-one who gave everything they had ever regretted it, no matter what happened in the end.

What’s your standard excuse for not doing something?
Well its not an excuse really but a valid reason, and thats one of a lack of time. In business you call it having enough “bandwidth” to be able to take on new ideas, tasks and projects. I never have enough time for what i want to do, ever. I could fill several lifetimes with it, and several more with the things other people want me to do with them or for them. A lot of the time i’m also just exhausted and can’t handle things, and consequently need my chill time just to keep sane. I’m quite honest when it comes down to it as i can’t be arsed to fuck around. Invite me clubbing and you’ll get told very bluntly that its not my bag at all, even if you’re supposed to really like it.

If it were you against the world, who would be on your side?
It is me against the world. Without sounding dramatic, thats the way it is. What i’m doing, no-one has ever done before, and thats quite a lonely place to be sometimes (not that i regret it or would change it for the world). The people around me are jedi - mostly those who want more from their life than the mediocrity 95% of the population settle for. You find yourself attracting them and being with them more than other people. That’s not to say either one is better than the other, just the way it is in my life. I think you’d find a lot of people were on my side, and more than i’d guess too. The people who mean anything to me or are important in my life are those who would be on my side - i don’t see any point to being close with, or communicating with anyone else.

Name the most beautiful person you know.
Emma-Louisa Brown I of Cunthorpe, inside and out. Absolutely stunningily gorgeous (almost unbelievably so), incredibly sexy and a wonderful maze of mystery who i want to treat as a princess and a mistress at the same time. Part of her beauty is that she is an amusing paradox - stern but kind, feisty but peace-loving, grounded but daydreamy, insatiable but dignified, intelligent but lost, secure in herself but scared and critical but loving. A true friend who walked through the fire and told me what i needed to hear regardless of whether i wanted to hear it, simultaneously being understanding, acceptiing and supportive of the way i felt at the time. That’s very impressive, and not something i’d be strong enough to do myself.

Have you ever been to jail?
Never been an inmate, or even visited one. I’ve been held in police cells quite a few times, for different offences but always talked my way out. The first time was not only weird, it was quite terrifying when i finally realised i couldn’t actually leave. I asked for a pencil and paper and ended up writing a whole book on the politics of being restricted, as i was fascinated by why i felt so panicked by being locked in a room. I didn’t realise at the time why cells are built the way they are - small, damp, uncomfortable, harshly lit, no conveniences, and your humanity stripped from you and nothing to think about or stimulation of any kind. Once you get that, its a lot easier to deal with. In the Shawshank Redemption they say you can tell a guilty man by how he sleeps on his first night.

To court?
Oh yes, probably twice or more times than i’ve been arrested. Always ended up defending myself because the solicitors have been shit and i’m a smartass. As it happens, i’m pretty good at it too as the last time i was in the Magistrates court the head guy on the bench asked me whether i’d ever considered a career in law, to which i replied “and join the dark side? I’m not sure i’d find it challenging enough”. Thankfully he had a sense of humour and i was let off lightly for the terrible remorse i showed. Its funny the lack of understanding and the intimidation the general public have about the legal system - for example someone being tried by your peers, technical loopholes, due process and how easy it is to lie/give false testimony to secure better terms for yourself.

What is one moment you wish you could have taken a picture of?
Again i have so many. When Zair did his infamous “concerned” face and asked his mummy “Pi pee?” (for crisps). When i first kissed Mima in the bath at 3am. Nads’ face when she got my text about being in Rochester. When my former boss realised how powerful i’d become after reading an interview i did. African kids running up to me en masse and pestering me for answers to their science questions and chess games. When i was sitting in Ealing park and realised that IPTV was the thing i knew i was destined to do but couldn’t explain why. When i stood on a Kenyan cliff face at sunrise on the millennium and decided to let go, give it everything i had and never look back. The look of fear on my father’s face when he realised i wasn’t scared anymore and he was in serious danger. Amanda’s tears when i finally drifted off after not being to sleep for 10 days. When i pulled on my nan’s tights around her knee to tell her i was scared. Standing on stage and getting a standing ovation for my speeches The sparkle of inspiration in Ben’s eye when he told me that he’d heard that 5mins with Alex would change his life, and thats what happened for him..The first time i discovered the internet and realised its potential for the human race.

Have you ever taken clothes out of the lost and found and worn them?
Thankfully i can honestly say i have never done that. Although i know several guys who would do it quite happily and not think anything of it other than they were getting a discount bargain.

What place holds the most memories for you?
Probably my dad’s house in Liphook, as so many things happened there good and bad. I’ve always hated it and been so deeply frustrated to the point of despair when i think about the place, but its the nearest thing i’ve had to a family home over the last decade. I’ve loved and lost there, suffered and been comforted. Its a black hole that sucks you down into it and a hell that best compared to an animal trap hidden in a peaceful neighbourhood of old people who all vote tory. I often wonder how i will look back on it, and i suspect it will be more affectionately than i think it will be.

What are you waiting for?
I don’t know as i have no reason to, as there’s no time like the present and carpe diem. To be a whole person and just generally OK and not feel like there’s something terribly wrong with me. The single biggest thing i’m waiting for is for my company to get the funding it needs so it can get going, as i’ve worked on it for a few years now and persisted without having any reason to other than my own faith. When that happens, i can find a permanent home back in London, have momentum and purpose and get my life back on track. Everything is linked into it - i will be able to have a home for the first time ever, be near my friends and be able to properly socialise, get to the gym, get into therapy near to where i live and start the next chapter of my life thats truly separate from the past. Other than that, for Emma to move to London so i can abandon all reason and fall totally, utterly in love with her.

Do you wear makeup?
No fucking way. My dad worked for Estee Lauder for years, which meant all i remember were crates and crates of the stuff everywhere in my house, and that all the goths wanting to be “individual” and dramatic used to wear it like warpaint. My mum and my sis spend hours with it, literally hours. The nearest i ever got was a visit to the Rocky Horror show, where the only thing i could bear was for someone to put mascara on me when everyone else was cross-dressing. Naturally you couldn’t notice as i have long eyelashes anyway, and it was much more amused by walking with my friend who was in high heels and suspenders in the middle of charing cross road and being wolf-whistled and ridiculed everywhere he went.

What is the greatest and best song in the world?
I really couldn’t answer this with one song, but i have a top 100. In that little chart you’d find “Push” by Matchbox 20, “Epiphany” by Staind, “Jeremy” by Pearl Jam, “Its So Easy” by Guns N’ Roses, “Black Balloon” by the Goo Goo Dolls, “Tears In Heaven” by Eric Clapton, “Would?” by Alice In Chains, “Paperthin Hymn” by Anberlin, “Voodoo Chile” by Jimi Hendrix, “Kiss The Rain” by Billy Myers, “All Is Forgiven” by Default, “Hallelujah” by Jeff Buckley, “Angel” by Massive Attack, “Something’s Missing” by John Mayer, “Hanging On A Moment” by Lifehouse, “Davidian” by Machine Head, “Girls Girls Girls” by Motley Crue, “What’s The Story Morning Glory” by Oasis, “Taken” by Plumb, “You Do Something To Me” by Paul Weller, “Blurry” by Puddle Of Mudd, “Killing In the Name Of ” by Rage Against The Machine, “Get The Fuck Out” by Skid Row, “God Save The Queen” by The Sex Pistols, “Seven” by Revis, “Place Your Hands” by Reef, “Truly Madly Deeply” by Savage Garden, “Surround Me” by Scott Stapp, “Slither” by Velvet Revolver, “Suffocate” by Sevendust, “Crazy Bitch” by Buckcherry, “Down” by Socialburn, “Maybe Tomorrow” by Stereophonics, “Interstate Love Song” by Stone Temple Pilots, “Fast Car” by Tracey Chapman, “Sit Down” by James…the list is endless. If you haven’t heard these songs, download them all now.

What’s the best trip you’ve ever been on?
Well the first time i took LSD was amusing, as we’d watched Star Wars the day before and so i moved straight past tracers and had full on beams of light and lightening coming from my hands and craved mars bars for some reason. The other two busy i was with laughed for 8 hours straight and spent the rest of the time exploring the atoms their hands were made up of. Africa has to rank very highly as we went on so many adventures - desert islands, old-fashioned locomotives across savannah planes, guns and wild animals and more. Seeing the eclipse in Cornwall on a deserted beach during a random trip at 10pm was incredibly cool, as was having dinner in Rome. Being an adventurous type, i seek out those things, although i need to get up to speed as its been all work and no play for the last few years.

What do you think the earth will look like in 1000 years?
If we carry on like we are, there’s not going to be much left. Its another reason why i like technology, as it removes the need for fossil fuels and natural resources like paper. What we should be doing is exploring space together, but as we’re so bent on destroying other sections of our species and the natural environment i deeply fear for us. In Star Trek, there is no currency or money, as well as universal principles that govern peace amongst planets. In some ways its interesting to compare it to 1000 years ago, where we had no electricity, no consituitional law, no universal communication and thr world was ruled by honour and religion. I don’t think we could ever really know - even our best guess would be wrong. How would you explain a computer to a soldier in 1066?

What kind of car do you own?
I don’t own one thank god, as they are so expensive and i have no need for them at all. In the countryside its a different matter of course, but i spend so much time in the urban life that trains and tubes are far more convenient. My car was the one thing that got me arrested or in trouble with the police more than anything else, so when i binned it, it was much easier to go undetected. I drive my sister’s car a lot now, which is refreshing on a sunny afternoon and convenient when i need to have dinner somewhere thats nowhere near a train station. The car i will be buying in the next few years will be a chrome Lamborgini that blinds the eyes of everyone i drive past - all them who tried to grind me down or take their pound of flesh.

Who is your favourite band?
Right now its Buckcherry, but of all time it would have to be Guns N’ Roses. Seriously, does it get any more rock n’ roll than them? What masters of PR and theatre, and probably the very last genuinely exciting bands of the last century. The best were ground breakers and never gave a fuck about whether people would like them - the Rolling Stones, Robbie Williams, Michael Jackson, Jimi Hendrix, the Sex Pistols, Prodigy, Slipknot, Alanis Morrisette, Nirvana, Machine Head, Oasis, Marilyn Manson, Coldplay, John Mayer. And now we have The Arctic Monkeys and Paris Hilton. Covers of covers of covers, and endless cycles of returns to the 70s and 80s, with no creativity at all. Years ago music was a way of protesting the Vietnam war and giving a voice to a generation. Nowadays Sky bleeb out the line “lets start a nuclear war” as well as swearing.

Who makes you happy to be around?
The one person who makes me smile like no other is Zair, my nephew. His purity and innocence just warms my heart and is sweet enough that i don’t need to worry about his agenda or games. He’s a genuine joy and its a surprise as i’m not really that good with kids. My own company is precious too, as i have no little ot it. Nature forces me to take breaks and recharge, and the only way i can do that is be isolated in the open air away from everyone and everything, thinking about nothing. A few hours of that and i’m fine. Home is where the heart is as they say, so in that case i’m most comfortable with Shaun and Jase, the amigos, who are more like brothers than friends. A coffee in the sun with Beth always leaves peaceful and smiling.

What song is your ‘anthem’?
I have a few according to my moods and the season, and certainly i lot i identify with and wish i’d written. “Threshold” by Slayer is a good example, as is “These Walls” by Trapt. “Erased” by Trustcompany, “Naive Orleans” by Anberlin, “Rainy Day” by Big Dismal, “Throw It All Away” by Default, “Grand Unification” by Fightstar, “Weakness” by Forty Foot Echo, “Here Is Gone” by Goo Goo Dolls, “My Big Mouth” by Oasis, “Right Now” by Korn, “Desire to Fire” by Machine Head, “Sick Love Song” by Motley Crue, “War Within A Breath” by Rage Against The Machine….

Who’s your celebrity crush?
Bizarrely enough i’m not a guy for celebrities. They just seem so fake. Pictures of half naked girls glistening after they’ve justy been oiled up or come out the pool do nothing for me as they’re just mannequins and waxworks. In the movies they are deliberately filmed in an attractive way to appeal to people’s fantasies so it feels dreamy and like half of them is missing. If i had to name one, i’m quite partial to Kate Winslet. The dark and red hair thing for me definitely hits the right spot. The rest, including the bimbo parade, can fuck off as i’d take natural beauty over designer photography any day.

What do you do on rainy afternoons?
Hole myself up inside and thank god i’m inside and warm, all the time getting frustrated that i’m stuck inside and its not sunny. Its an ideal time to work as well, as i’m not distracted by girls in miniskirts or moronic people like traffic wardens and/or couriers walking past the window. Some days i’m a little more insane and end up walking in the rain deliberately, just to spite the sky and enforce my own will, as i don’t care about getting wet like most people do. I’ll shun umbrellas and take it like a man.