1.) How many times a day would you kiss me?
Whenever i possibly could, including times that are entirely inconvenient and totally inappropriate. I’d be all macho and pretend i didn’t want to, of course. I wouldn’t keep count, but i’d definitely need it to be in double figures, not just good morning and goodnight. I need passion - to be completely lost in a world with just us two, no matter what was going on around us. Under the stars, on the grass in the sun and up against a wall in the rain. Sometimes its just the small ones that are the best.

2.) How many times a day would you just want to hold me?
Well i’d want to hold you a lot. Every time you felt unsure, scared, worried or just needed to feel close to me. In fact you’d probably get very pissed off as i’d try and hug you when you didn’t want to or were in the middle of something else far more important. The more you resisted, the more i’d annoy you and do it just to annoy you. Holding you is my respite from the world after a long day or when i’m nervous before something big.

3.) Would you take me places?
I have a catalogue of bizarre and interesting places to go, as i collect them. Of course i’d take you places! The places mean nothing without the person or people you experience them with. It would be a wonderful joy to see you in different guises wherever you go, in an evening dress, in your slacks or just seeing the world with me. I want someone to discover the world with, not just to hang on my arm and occasionally tell my friends about.

4.) Would you love me?
Yes i would, as love’s about actions, not feelings. For me, loving you is doing whatever you can to help you be the very best you can possibly be. I’m not great with love, so its a strain for me in some ways. I’m not very tolerant, patient, understanding or trusting, so i have to make double the effort to try to be loving.

5.) If we went out on a date would you have me pay for it?
No, it would be 50/50 unless you had a reall thing about it and insisted on paying. Most of the time i’d like to pay, although only after i got to know you as there are so many girls out there who just want dinner and drinsk bought for them as it makes them feel attractive and special. Once i worked out you weren’t being a manipulative so and so, i’d want to pay for dinner and treat you whenever i could just to see your smile.

6.) Would you take me anywhere special?
As many places as i could, as i’d enjoy them too. I want to go to places like the Ice Hotel, an old English castle with a roaring fireplace, Moscow for dinner, star-gaze under the northern lights, carve our names in a tree in a summer field, wake up in an Arabian four-poster bed, camping in the mountains, drink red bull on the edge of a volcano in Iceland, swim in a cold lake after taking a sauna in Finland, trekking through India to see tigers and elephants….

7.) If I was sick… what would you do?
Get the duvet from upstairs and drape it over you when you’re on the couch whilst doing everything i could do to make you laugh. I’d make you breakfast, a hot water bottle and fuss over you all day to the point where i drove you crazy. Afterr you sent me out the house i’d call incessantly to find out how you were feeling and order you flowers half way through the day. You wouldn’t be allowed to do any work or anything strenuous and i’d call in sick for you and take care of all the things you were worried about that day.

8.) After we had sex…what would you do?
Kiss you, a lot, and whisper into your ear. Probably hold you as i know you’d want me to, and tell you how beautiful you are and how incredible you make me feel. Then we’d eat chocolate and tickle each other. Maybe a cigarette or two, some crap TV and prancing around semi-naked in fits of giggles. I’d probably grab the guitar and play something for a few minutes to enjoy the dreaminess.

9.) If one of my friends tried to get with you what would you do?
Tell her i was flattered, and that i although i found her attractive, i was with you. Depends on how overt she was about it - whether she tried to kiss me or spent months undermining our relationship to get the same result. I wouldn’t cheat on you, and if i wanted to, we’d have bigger problems than her making a move. Girls always want what they can’t have, so as soon as she got what she wanted she would have lost interest anyway. Even if i liked her, i couldn’t pursue anything with anyone who i got together with by cheating on my girlfriend or who cheated on their boyfriend.

10.) Would you tell me?
Truth is i’m not too sure, as it would depend on the situation and i’d have to use my judgement. If she was embarassed and felt stupid the chances are that i wouldn’t tell you and just let sleeping dogs lie. If her intentions were more sinister and were part of who she is as a person, then she’s no friend and i’d let you know so you could deal with her yourself. If she’d done that, she would have probably done it before, would do it again, and would do worse in other parts of her life too.

11.) Would you listen to all my problems and help me solve them?
Of course, as i would be a privilege to know you would trust me by telling me them. I “get” listening, even though for a man its hard as i want to solve the problems for you as its what would make me feel better if i was in the same situation. I’m not a girl friend though, so i’d be pretty strict about whingeing, nagging and silliness. I won’t solve your problems for you but i’d be around to help you find the answers to them yourself. If all you did was complain about your problems, you and i would be over fairly quickly.

12.) Would you introduce me to your mum/dad?
Well they’re a big part of my life and i want them to know what i’m doing, so you’d inevitably get invited out for a drink or dinner because i would have mentioned you a lot as it is. They know i don’t give a fuck what they think and do what i want anyway, so you wouldn’t have to worry as my mum would fuss over you and my sis would sympathise with you for having to put up with me.

13.) Would you care about what i wore when we go out ?
Not really, as long as you were happy and comfortable. Naturally if you made some kind of cataclysmic error of judgement i’d tell you as i wouldn’t want anyone to sneer at you or make you feel silly. I’d tell you if you looked beautifully, mostly as i probably wouldn’t be able to help myself. You’d be surprised when i thought you looked amazing, even when you thought you looked awful.

14.) Would you go to a club with me?
If i really had to, and it was just for a drink or so. I’m really, really not a clubbing guy at all, and i can’t dance at all. I’m more a man for the relaxing and sophisticated things in life - somewhere atmospheric and classy where you can enjoy witty conversation and talk about the ways of the world and the things that are truly important. I love strange and unusual places, so a club for me is sterile and unfeeling. I’d go for you though, if you wanted me to.

15.) If your friend tried to get with me what would you do?
Kick his fucking ass big-time. Silent treatment first, but if he was unrepentent, devious or defiant i could go so far as to punch his fucking lights up. Its an unwritten man thing not to invade another man’s territory, so if he did, he’d be fundamentally showing contempt and disrepect for me. After i’d finished with him, i’d be taking a hard look at how you got yourself in that situation in the first place and why he thought he could try his luck.

16.) If someone tried to fight with me in front of you what would you do?
Pull you away and/or get in the middle, mainly to protect you from getting hurt. I’d let you handle it as much as you could, but would get between you both and make sure they couldn’t reach you. If they got more people involved, i’d break the faces of every single one of them. No-one harms my baby, simple as that.

17.) If a girl/guy tried to talk or dance with you at a club what would you do?
Well as i can’t dance, we wouldn’t ever get in that situation. But if someone tried to talk to me, i’d talk with them naturally as you never know where and when you make new friends who could be important in your life. If you got jealous, i’d stay calm and try to reassure you. But if you got psychotic, then you’d be put firmly in your place as you’d be making it clear you didn’t trust me or didn’t think you thought much of our relationship.

18.) Would you give me your myspace password?
Not in a million years, and if you asked for it, you’d get shown the door right there and then. There’s no reason for you to have any of my passwords whatsoever as i’m an individual human being who needs and deserves their own privacy. So i guess the moral here is respect me and don’t ever ask for it. If you did, you’d be testing me and i’d know it. Play that game and you and i are over.

19.) If i gave you mine would you read all my mail?
No. I’d refuse it on principle, and if you blurted it out i’d make you change it in front of mine and not tell me what it is. I’d never invade your privacy as i’ve learnt that lesson before - that there has been no positive outcome for anyone in that situation ever in the whole of human history. I’d treat you as i’d expect to be treated. Your mail is your business, and if you really wanted to lead a duplicitious life than i’d be able to pick up enough of it day to day to figure out something was wrong.

20.) If i said i loved you would you say it back?
If i loved you i would say it back as its the most amazing feeling in the world. If i didn’t, i couldn’t say it as it wouldn’t be true and i’d be lying or saying it to make you feel better. There would be reason not to tell you, or playing any silly games because i wanted to be macho or not considered vulnerable.