Are you

• fat? hideously ugly? hilariously unattractive?
• Lack any discernable dress sense? Lack any form of social ability?
• Rude? Insensitive? Downright obnoxious and offensive?
• Ignorant rascist, sexist, anti-semitic, anti-immigrant, UKIP/BNP-member or other vile bigotry of choice?

Maybe you, or someone you know or had the misfortune to meet, are:

• An angst-ridden attention whore who spends their hours desperately pleading for people to comment your pictures and/or entertain you?
• A shit band who never knows when to give up with the spam and believes it is their god-given right to be famous?
• An unstable, confused and melodramatic emo kid living off the money given to you by the parents, who you hate for bringing you into this horrible world that doesn’t understand you?
• A predatory paedophile who is looking for fresh kiddie meat to groom?
• A serial pervert who messages girls with filth hoping you’ll impress them or that they will reply in kind?
• An alcoholic, drug addict or loser lacking any ambition or purpose?
• An ill-informed, over-patriotic illiterate American redneck?
• A right-wing, highly-opinionated fundamentalist Christian?
• A political or religious activist forcing your emotive campaign in people’s faces regardless of whether they share your beliefs?
• A superstitous moron who forwards chainmail messages and bulletins threatening bad luck if you don’t?
• A man-hating feminist lesbian who refuses to even acknowledge the existence of the male species, let alone even address them?
• A lazy sportwear-fanatic chav with more than an ASBO or two on its way to evict you from the council estate and cancel your benefits?
• An arrogant, stuck-up posh twit with a superiority complex that you have no justifiable basis for?
• A superficial fashionista who’s sole aim in life is to be a diva and stockpile lifestyle accessories and items of female indulgence?
• An emotionally retarded, car-obsessed lager lout macho man without the simple ability to comprehend anything thats not a games console, lads mag or pint glass?
• A charmless nerd with suspect body hair, monotone voice, unsettling smell or a need to indulge in strange war games?
• A clueless teenager who has forgotten how to wrt gud frm tking txt att?
• A self-obsessed and delusional friday-night playa who is just too cool for skool?
• A vacuous mood hoover who has nothing to say for themselves other than the most tedious small talk and cliches?
• A gooey, soppy over-romantic wet blanket who collects Mills & Boon stories, girly feelgood movies and has a dreary naive obsession with love from watching too many Hollywood movies?
• A miserable, blood-drinking vampire goth adsorbed by the beautiful melody of speed death metal?
• A pre-pubescent wannabe pretending to be older than you actually are by uploading semi-sexual pictures for middle-age men to get confused over?
• A social degenerate so profoundly stooooopid that the oxygen you consume would be better spent on an inanimate object like a tree or wall?
• A bitter, resentful and angry ranting emotional wreck who can’t put the axe down or let something go?
• A cowardly fraud masquerading as someone else by stealing their pictures?
• A frighteningly obsessive stalker that won’t take the hint or thinks restraining orders are a gesture of affection?
• All of the above? (God help you)

Do you know someone like this? Ever been messaged on MSN or MySpace by someone like this? Had to block someone like this?

Then Lieutenant Licious Lovebeam and Commander Don Juan De Cameron want to hear from YOU! We want your human social waste!

Send your lists of emails, usernames, myspace addresses, pictures or anything else about the people you would rather never hear from again to either of us with PROJECT JOINER in the subject line!

If you don’t forward or repost this in the next 30 seconds you will have bad relationships and bad luck for a year. Or maybe that friend of yours who needs cheering up today won’t get to laugh from reading this. Your choice. It could happen and you just can’t afford to take that chance this week.