When your boss started the company you work for, he wanted it to be the best place for anyone to work; a place where everyone was happy, worked at full speed to their full potential; that he would be loved for what he created and for allowing the people who work for him to be part of it.

Unfortunately it didn’t end up like that. It became a political hellhole just like any other office where the workers are demotivated and whinge chronically. The daily pressures of business took hold and less and less money became available for all the important things that made it a great place to be. Eventually it sank to be the same place he escaped from to start it in the first place.

Most offices are just extensions of school that people turn up from 9am to 5pm to pay the bills. They hate it and never expected to be there as in their heart they wanted to do something else entirely that would make them jump out of bed in the morning. The boss is the headmaster, the goodies who suck up the senior teachers are the prefects and the social clichés that plague playgrounds everywhere form their own departments. If you’re anything like me, you want to run screaming from that just like the school gates.

The thought of working for someone else makes me feel physically sick.

These places box people in a cage with high walls, rather than act as a catalyst to unleash the potential inside them. Politics is everywhere people are unfortunately, and office politics are some of the worst. Inevitably they are petty, insular and ultimately insignificant. Vested interests take over and institutional bullying and bureaucracy sets in, and before you know it, nothing productive, exciting or risky ever has enough oxygen to breathe, let alone sprout or bloom.

Ironically that energy is what started the company in the first place. If any start-up was run like a typical corporate behemoth is, it wouldn’t be in business after a few weeks.

Work isn’t what it used to be. Back in the industrial days it was largely physical, so you would plough the fields, work in the mines or complete your accounts that sat in the inbox on your desk. In the age of computers, networks and intellectual property, work is a conceptual thing where the borders and boundaries are no longer defined. Its why you can’t switch off when you come home, as what you do and how your perform exists in your mind and not in the sweat and dirt on your hands. Life is becoming increasingly remote and hard to measure.

Middle management is a deeply evil and nefarious hub of malaise that kills the moral and motivation of most companies. They spend hours and pages going about working in fast moving teams and being dynamic workplaces but its all bullshit. Ignore it, and don’t bother even thinking about this stupid, hollow puffery because it’s lip service and hot air. Your company would know productivity, motivation or speed if it whacked them in the face with a cricket bat. You’re being lied to, and you know it because you’re utterly miserable.

The rot sets in because the effort and concern to maintain an inspiring place to work just isn’t there and human nature means corruption and bankruptcy always spreads like the infection of a wound when it is not tackled head on. Once its there, its almost impossible to get rid of, like a resistant weed in the garden. The combination of working longer days for a pointless and soulless end where what you do is ultimately meaningless, and a culture of being constantly watched and micro-managed takes it toll deeper than most people realise.

The environment you should be working in is one where people are encouraged, nurtured and challenged. But that requires effort, and the best example is training. People need to grow and more importantly to feel they are growing through personal momentum. You don’t get training where you work because it’s a luxury to be indulged when the company’s P&L is flush with cash. Its very difficult to show an immediate return on that investment, or in more simple terms, its pouring money down a black hole and not getting anything for the effort. Its also the first thing to get trashed when costs need to be cut.

But herein lies an interesting paradox. The first concern any boss has is what will happen if they train people and then they just leave. It seems like a total waste of money. But more importantly, what happens if you don’t train people and they stay? These are the types of things the ignorant idiot you work for never thinks about.

Its also a lot easier to rule by fear and the all-hallowed Stalin-inspired “command and control” style of management. People don’t need to be “managed” they need to have fire put in their soul and driven to be the best they can be. You do your job because you could very well lose it, and being reminded of that, and the chaos of not being to make ends meet, drives you on. It’s far from ideal. You should be giving your all because what you do will live on forever and because you ill enabling others to do great things.

If you’ve ever seen a company that is truly an amazing organisation work for, its an awe-inspiring sight and leaves you quite affected for a long time. Google and Microsoft are great examples, and they are two of the biggest and best known companies in the world. There are plenty of smaller, more dynamic ones out there that aren’t in the spotlight, but its rare to cross their path. But when people truly love what they do and love being where they are and the way they work with others who love their situation as much as they do, its incredible.

And its damned hard to get it right.

Many books compare companies to armies, and indeed a lot of high-flying, gung-ho executives read books like Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War” and Nicolo Machiavelli’s “The Prince” to learn how to be more effective. In a battle you place your troops where their skills dictate and put them where their strengths lie. You don’t put your archers in the cavalry or your gunners in the strategists tent. Everyone has different abilities and competencies and its important to assess everyone to see where they would be best placed. Almost no-one does this, as obvious as it is. Nobody takes the time to ask or think about it, let alone act on it.

A boss is a war general in that army who must set the example by rolling up his sleeves and getting his hands covered in dirt, grease and blood with the ordinary people who give theirs on his behalf. 70% of his time should be spent inspecting and motivating his troops on the ground to keep the whole crowd together and ready to destroy whatever crosses its path if it needs to, acting as one body. The boss is the master of the Jedi and a warlord who inspires love and fear equally.

Most human beings have common needs and desires that fairly easy to spot, nurture and satisfy. Its simply incredible that this isn’t noticed or dealt with in most companies.

They need to:

• They need to:
• Feel they are important as people;
• Feel what they are doing is important;
• Feel that the effort they make is appreciated;
• Feel they are growing and getting better at their job and as a person;
• Feel they are paid fairly for their skills and abilities;
• Feel as if they belong;
• Feel part of something bigger, a greater cause.

It means change, It means breaking from the herd. It means investment and consideration. It means that things won’t be the same in your company as elsewhere and people might think its strange, It takes will, persistent, faith and belief. In short, that’s more than most greedy, mediocre, arrogant, self-righteous bosses can manage to conjure.

There is a concrete “business case” for doing these things and changing tack, as wanky politically obsessed micro-managers would like to say. If your culture and people aren’t right, your company is diseased.

It’s very simple.

The more productive and motivated your people are, the more money they make you.

Unlimited annual holiday
That’s right. No limits on how long you can take off every year, so forget your standard 4 weeks. The message is “we trust you”. Taking the piss means you can’t do your job, and the people you go on holiday with only get a few weeks as it is. you’re an adult, so just get the job done.

Flexi-time as standard
It doesn’t matter what time you come in or leave as long as you get the job done. If you need to come in at 8am to meet a client or speak to someone else in the company, you need to be in at 8am. If you want to work in the evenings or even overnight, that’s cool. Just get it done.

12 duvet days a year
A “duvet day” is time off for no reason other than you wanting to chill, and it started in America. Its like a legitimate sickie. You can take one if you have a hangover, if you’re exhausted, want to see your friends or are just fed up. You get one a month, and you can only take one at a time.

Sleep rooms & compassionate sleep policy
When people are tired and exhausted, they can’t work properly. Churchill fought a war through cat naps in the day. When you need to sleep, its better you rest than make a mess of what you’re doing. You get rooms to sleep in, and a company that says its ok to sleep at work for a short time in the day if you need to.

An office on the roof in summer
There’s nothing worse than being stuck in a hot sweaty office in the midst of the summer sun, and light affects our sense of well being. Wireless networking means we don’t need cables for computers or phones, so the umbrellas go up and you get to work looking over the city landscape in the warm weather.

Not many desks, just sofas and mobiles
Why do we actually need desks? They are a personalised area that people become entrenched in when they need the elusive energy that comes from being somewhere that’s changing or new. Discomfort stops your productivity, and we need to be on the move all the time to keep things dynamic.

Dress-up Fridays
Consider it a righteous inversion of that absurd city novelty, the hilariously pathetic “dress down Friday” where the powers that be allow you, the humble mortal, to take off your tie and/or wear jeans. We don’t have a uniform. On Fridays we get dressed up, like you do when you’re going to a party.

Mandatory paid paternity leave
Being a good father isn’t optional. If you’re a workaholic, its time to stop and cherish the important things, even if you don’t want to. If you have a child, you have to take time off whether you like it or not. You still get paid and you can check in when you need to, but get used to the idea of being at home to help mum.

Shared bonuses for teams
When someone gets something right, their whole team benefits. The more things they get right, the more they benefit. There is no competition or rivalry within departments to earn brownie points, as you work to ensure everyone wins. You succeeding means everyone succeeds.

No politics policy
A formal company principle set in stone is “no politics” and must be followed religiously. Politics slow you down and stop you making as much money as you could. The business needs to be dynamic and not drowning in vested interests, one-up-manship and other ugly productivity zapping sludge.

Reverse annual appraisals
Managers get appraised by their subordinates, not the other way round. The performance of those in charge influences everything and the buck stops with them. No reprisals from feedback are allowed or tolerated.

Regular evaluation of people’s strengths
Every single person is regularly examined in detail for their strengths, weaknesses, skills, problems and character so they can best placed in the company where they are most effective and deadly.

Freedom to freelance or be an entrepreneur
People moonlight whether you want them to or not, and some of the best ideas and companies are spawned from existing employers’ businesses. As long as its not competitive with what you already do, its better to embrace and invest in it.

If you conceive it, you manage it
Often the best ideas come from the strangest places, and they need to be encouraged and welcomed from whoever dreams them up. That means that if you’re the receptionist and come up with a new product or service that will make the company a lot of money, you get to build and manage it.

Regular weekend getaways
Not stupid team-building exercises, but countryside holidays in the middle of nowhere where staff and their other halves can spend time together, bond as friends and just get refreshed so they can bring their rejuvenated mind and energies into the office on Monday morning.

Ideabank & Idea Stock Exchange
One better than the never-used suggestion box. Every time you come up with an idea (of which there are thousands every day), you write it down and enter into an internal company computer system where others can help develop and grow it.

Constant training and mentoring
Everyone gets personalised training in whatever they want, and the official goal for each person is that they double their knowledge and skills every year. Everyone is allocated a mentor to consult and receive feedback and support from.

Sabbaticals are welcome
If you want to go travelling for 6 months or just want to take time out to do a qualification, you get the support you need and your job preserved. Your responsibility is to find your replacement and be able to feed back what you learnt when you come back.

Creche, babysitting and animal care facilities
Life is a nightmare to fit around work, so its important to support people so they can feel safe, reassured and focused. If you need to leave at 4 to pick the kids up, take your flexi time. If no-one is around to look after the dog, you get the kennel fees paid for.

Regular debates and mini-conferences/presentations
Debate is not about winning or losing, its about coming to a better understanding of an issue and each other. A culture of debate means your people are free to argue, disagree, educate each other and pursue their interests freely so they can feed it back into your day to day office life.

No consequences for disagreeing
Power plays and office politics mean that most people are terrified of expressing an opinion that is contrary to what someone above them believes. Its incredibly dangerous as that person could be very wrong. The policy is simple. You will never, ever be disciplined or face reprisals for disagreeing or dissenting as long as you object gracefully, impersonally and professionally.

Random present giving and daily praising
The moral is to catch people doing something right, not try to catch them doing wrong so you can discipline. Trust your people and celebrate them every day. 4-6 days a month someone gets a present for something they’ve done well.

White collar boxing for solving arguments
If aggression builds, it needs to released constructively so those concerned can let off steam. Huge 12ft boxing gloves are one option, but a better one is sponsored company sport where the arguing parties can actually literally beat the living daylights out of each other.

Zero tolerance for buzzwords and negativity
Its intellectual laziness and reflects badly on the company internally and externally. Using silly wankwords in meetings or communications, or listless whingeing are sackable offences that you agree to be disciplined for. Once or twice is fine, but if you don’t change your ways, the door will be slammed behind you.

Immediate sacking for bullying or harassment
That type of behaviour is intolerable and unacceptable and results in one thing, and one thing only. There is no mitigation, no consideration or special circumstances, and your position doesn’t matter. If you upset someone else and stop them being as productive as they could be, you’re out.

Weekly “No Computer” day
Every Thursday, all computers are switched off so email, office software and any other technology people rely on is removed. All clients and suppliers are informed so they know they will not receive an electronic response. Everyone is forced to communicate in person and work around not having the simple conveniences.

Job swapping between junior and senior personnel
Once a month, everyone’s name goes into a hat and they swap roles around the office. Position is irrelevant, so the managing director can swap with the receptionist and vice versa. No complaints, no special circumstances or dispensations. Everyone must understand the role and importance of others.

All software and facilities web-based
All tech systems are built around the internet so anyone can work wherever they are, whenever they want to. Telephones, email, voicemail, documents, project management and every types of business facility is provided securely online.

Trust with no interference
Hire good people, and then get the hell of their way. Every policy reflects a central principle that people are valued, important and autonomous in all they do. Let them get on with the job and if there is a problem, they need support to resolve it and won’t face recriminations for making mistakes or not knowing how to do something.

Mandatory gym membership
Mind and body are linked, so healthcare and gym membership come as standard. If they are physically able, every person is required to regularly visit the gym and pursue a physical exercise program to improve their health and well being. No exceptions.

Production of 1 thing a day
You have to produce 1 thing every day, no matter what it is or whether it is specifically linked to a project you are working on. The discipline is essential and work cannot linger. Everyone (every single person) is expected to have produced something by the end of their working day that is registered and catalogued for examination later.

Monthly celebration
At the end of every month on a Friday afternoon, 5 examples of the best pieces of work and/or outstanding contribution to the company are presented as case studies, and celebrated in front of everyone.
Sounds like fantasy doesn’t it? How can you make all of that happen and would it work in practice? How could you pay for it and fit it all into the calendar? Would it actually make things better or just be chaos?

You can’t imagine or know because you haven’t experienced it yet. In fact you probably don’t know of anything that compares or anyone who has known anything remotely similar. But it is impossible, and its underway. In fact, its all enshrined in paper and will be the culture of a new company arriving very soon. Whether the old school like it or not, it’s the way things will be because that culture will produce and support a new breed of worker.

This place does exist. Welcome to my company.

You work for Alex Cameron.