[For Em & Esther, adoring blog fans x]

I get asked a lot how I manage to do so many things, work with very powerful people and how I generally have this grand cause celebre to work around. I’d love to brag about how much I’ve done, but the truth is that its only 10% of what I’ve wanted to do, so I feel slightly inefficient and ineffective about what I’ve achieved this far. Its not a crisis, just not the grandiose view of myself you’d probably expect.

I’ve always learned the hard way. I had no idea what to do. I still don’t in many ways, but I just smash my way through in a bloody-minded way. Somehow it all comes together and looks remotely professional. I learnt a lot along the way, and I see the same confusion i had in so many people I know. Nobody teaches you the things you really need to know.

Its always the big important questions. What should I do with my life? What career should I choose? What do I really want to do? What really makes me happy? How can I get my dream job? How can I make a fortune? How do I get there? How can I stop being such a mess? What’s the point of being here? What can I do that I will be remembered for? How can I get my break?

Its different for everyone, but there are some general rules and pointers.

The biggest problem is not knowing what to do, or even knowing what to do to find out. Working out how to get where you want to be isn’t easy, but luckily its not particularly hard either. It just looks and feels impossible because you don’t know what to do. But that will change, because you’ll start working it out.

Once you’ve done something, its easy to repeat. But not knowing makes you feel very lost. Feeling lost makes you feel hopeless, and it rapidly becomes a vicious circle of helplessness that is a very hard mental habit to break.

What you need is someone to help you start finding out, and pointing you in the direction of tools and ideas that can get you started and moving.

So here I am, your map.

Get off your fucking ass
Very simple. It requires you to actually take the time and find the energy and commitment to get yourself together. If you don’t, you’re staying where you are and drowning in your misery. No effort, no reward. If you can’t be assed to even work out how to change your situation, stop whingeing about it. Proceed no further.

Decide what you want
Again, very simple, and the first and biggest question you will ever ask yourself. You don’t need to know exactly how you will do it. Who do you want to be? What do you want it to read on your grave and in your obituary? What life do you want? Write it down in massive letters and post it on your wall. Commit to it. Write who you want to be down.

Work out your principles
Know thyself, always. Centre your life around your principles. Your personality, beliefs and values will change with time, whereas your character and principles won’t. What are you good at, and bad at? What do you think about [insert issue]? Are you for or against [issue]? What is right and wrong? What do you believe? What will you tolerate and accept? What will you say no to? Write a list of 10 of your core principles.

Stop being a helpless victim
You’re a victim if you’re waiting for someone to do something, or for something to happen before your life is better. You’re also one if you blame anything or anyone else for what happens or the way you feel. Take responsibility for your own life and feelings. Read, recognise and evolve. Write down 10 things you can do to make what you want happen.

Find a mentor
Simply the most powerful step you can take and the most natural way to learn. Search for someone who has done what you want to do, and just ask their advice. Buy them a coffee and take 10 minutes to pick their brain. You’ll have a mentor for every area of your life, for the rest of your life. Write down a list of 10 candidates.

Read everything you possibly can
Someone has done what you want to before. Go to a book shop or search on Amazon. The internet is the world’s biggest encyclopaedia, so look up what you want to know. Read the newspapers online and get clued up. The information on how to get better is out there, and you have to find it. Write down 10 books and sites to read.

Ask advice whenever you can
Human experience is often better than a book. Suck in every piece of information you can from as many people as possible like a sponge. Ask people what to do or how they got their shit together. Ask them who they know who could help you. Get feedback on everything you do so you’ll be better next time. Write down a list of 10 people to get advice from.

Put limits on things
One of the most difficult things is getting lost in a massive world of choice and possibilities. If you’re choosing a new career, you have thousands of options. There are always so many things if you could do. One of the biggest secrets is putting a hard limit on what you’re doing. If there are 25,000 options, set yourself a limit of finding a maximum of 10. Then push it down to 3. Then 1. Drill down. Write down 5 things you can limit, and the number of choices you will limit them to.

Break things into small chunks
You can do everything at once, and trying to do massive things quickly means you easily get overwhelmed. Keep breaking things into small manageable pieces. When you get something done, it’ll feel good. It’s a very simple, easy way to be more productive. Choose something on your todo list and write it down as 10 smaller pieces.

Learn how to set and manage goals
Goals are massively powerful because they give you a structure for your life. The process has been studied for years and proven to be effective, but ONLY if you’re highly specific and you write them down. Google for SMARTS. Goals aren’t a todo list, they are what you want to achieve. They are a map, and you need to review them constantly. Write down 10 goals you want to achieve in the next 12 months.

Learn to mind-map
Mind maps are a way of visualising everything in your life and on your mind, and can help you understand whats going on and what you want to do. They help clear the chaos in your head. There is loads of information on the web about them and they are very natural to use. Write down 10 things you want to include in your first mind map.

Create your own plan
This sounds obvious, but its astounding the amount of people who have never done it. Its up to you to design your life. The key is to think of what you want to happen, not what the world will throw at you. How will things happen over the next 6-12 months? Where will you be in 5 or 20 years? Where do you want to be? What can you do to make that happen? Write down 10 things you want to happen in the next 5 years.

Teach yourself
Don’t wait for someone to tell you. Search out the information for yourself. Don’t take a course, go back to college or some other time-intensive process. Learn everything you can, and use the Internet. Set yourself projects and tests. Learn it and teach someone else what you’ve learnt – it’s the best way to see how much you really know. Write down 10 questions you are going to research and answer.

Forget trying to please everyone or keep the peace
Keeping the peace usually involves compromising, giving in or appeasing. All those come at your expense, and nobody cares if you suffer. Get used to that. Is their peace of mind more important that your happiness? Is it up to you to make them feel better? You can’t reach some people, so don’t be afraid to take what you want and polarise them if necessary. Write down 5 people you’re keeping the peace with, and the pros and cons of it.

Figure out what your baggage is
Everyone has some. It the shit emotional damage and hang-ups that come from your parents, your schooldays and your past relationships. You need to know what yours is, and work out a way to deal with it. Its not nice. In fact it’s the last thing you will ever want to face. But you have to if you want to move on and get better. All you need to do is know what it is. Write down problems that plague you today and where they come from.

Ask yourself questions
Everything is a generalism, even this statement. We speak categorically and have been taught to think in terms of whether we can or cannot do something. So when you come up against an obstacle, your automatic reaction is to work out why you can’t do it. Change that. Ask yourself how you could, or what you need to do. All you need to do is ask yourself the question mentally. Your mind will answer you and work it out automatically. Write down 10 things you are unsure about as questions to yourself.

Recognise when you are hiding
Making an effort isn’t easy, and you’ve learnt and devised hundreds of tricks to avoid dealing with uncomfortable feelings. You use them as mechanisms to avoid anxiety. You put your head in the sand, sidestep, delude yourself, drink yourself into a coma, procrastinate and distract yourself. All for the same reason. Its scary, it makes you anxious and you want to avoid feeling the discomfort. Write 10 times in the last month when you’ve avoided doing something.

Mix with like-minded people
If you hang around with miserable, ambitionless, apathetic people, they will bring you down. Doesn’t take a genius. You do better at the gym when you have a gym-buddy to motivate you along. You need people to cheer you up and bounce ideas off. Ditch the goons and be merciless. Your soul and future are at stake. Write down 5 people who always make you miserable somehow, and 5 who inspire you.

Don’t hesitate or ponder, act.
This goes back to the very first point. Don’t fuck around. Let the other people ponder. Just get it done. Turn your thoughts into words on paper, then turn those words into actions and do them as soon as you can. Never set a goal without doing something right there and then to help you achieve it. Unless you do it, its just a dream. You can’t wait for the right time, as there will be no right time. Its now. Put your money where your mouth is. Write down 10 actions you are going to take after reading all this.

You probably really don’t like the whole idea of writing things down. What a pain. Why can’t you do it all in your head? Why bother? In fact, just do 1 or 2 and be done with it. Nice little read there but will look at it another day. Because its right here and right now where the battle is fought, in your head. You could write them down right now if you wanted to. You know yourself and your life better than anyone, and you wouldn’t have to do much thinking.

Yes, YOU have to do it. Not someone else who is reading this. You.

Here’s why you write it down.

a) it shows commitment and discipline.
b) it makes it permanent and real, not just a dream or thought.
c) it kicks the RAS (reticular activating system – google for it) mechanism in your brain so the information gets set in your subconscious.

And if that doesn’t convince you, then look at it this way. The chav in the pub playing on the fruit machines has it all in his head. The successful millionaire genius has it planned out and written above his/her desk, his/her bed and in his/her purse/wallet. Which is the better model to follow?

Get off your fucking ass and do it. You won’t regret the effort. Either do that, or just shut the fuck up. You want this? Then stop fucking talking and do it.