A lot of people are bemused my passion for the unreal, romantic and extraordinary. They see madness where i feel magic and naivety where i revel in wonder. They sense a drive in me that i don’t always see myself, and when i speak they say the volume of my words is amplified by the passion that comes across. I don’t necessarily try to have an effect, i just speak what’s on my mind in the mood im in and refer them gently to the heart on my sleeve. I certainly look on the world very differently to most people i know and have an overwhelming belief that nothing is impossible because the capacity of human will to achieve it always supercedes the doubt that holds back from even trying. We are all prisoners of ourselves.

In the Greco-Roman days, the philosophy of living was divided into two distinct schools of thought. The first and best known, Stoicism, was founded upon the teachings of Zeno of Citium. The second was Epicureanism, based upon the teachings of Epicurus. Stoics are traditionally referred to as cynical and indifferent, believing logos (the universal reason inherent in all things) was that self-control, fortitude and detachment from distracting emotions, allows one to become a clear thinker, level-headed and unbiased. Epicureans thought exactly the opposite - that the greatest good was to seek modest pleasures in order to attain a state of tranquility and freedom from fear as well as absence of bodily pain through knowledge of the workings of the world and the limits of our desires.

I ask myself what i’m doing it all for every day, and the answer varies: because i can; because i should; because no-one else will; because it will feel amazing; because it will inspire others, and because i have the means and resources within my grasp to take advantage of the opportunity. To me there is no real mystery in any of the things that are so mysterious to so many. Building a career, finding a direction, making a heap of money, becoming the best in your profession and so on are just mathematical problems of probability rather than some abstract uphill struggle that has no end. My mind is always working so fast and furiously 24/7 that i barely rest - i am at the end of your sentence before you are and have considered all the sides of an issue miles before the conclusion.

I have no limits. I have no finishing line. All i have is love, vision, passion, romance, faith, belief, energy and a desire to accomplish more than anyone ever has. They are the only things worth living for. I had it as a child but it was corrupted by the pain i suffered, like poison ivy wrapped around a beam of light, smothering it. For a long time all the drive i had was hatred of everyone and everything, and i depended on that black sepulchral part of my soul for mere survival. Where i was told not to rise above my station i rebelled and refused, as for some unknown reason i now see the blockage of bloodymindedness in my own mind as a blessing rather than a curse as it made out to be in my more vulnerable years. My defiance was a war cry and a symbol of disbelief in the boundaries that were being forced upon me.

I’m not a realist, and i don’t ever plan on becoming one at all. Its not about ground station zero and what we have, its about getting what we could have and being amazed by every moment. I can find something fascinating in the most trivial and boring of things, and there is a lesson to be learnt in everything. Life to me is a massive rollercoaster, passing through intertwined moments of incredible beauty and painful tragedy, as well as crashing into all the rollercoasters of other people. Its an incredible fractal kaleidoscope that no human could dream of designing and inventing. I throw myself in as fast as i can into all things and attack them with ferocity because i don’t want to miss a second. I wanto have everything, and even more.

And i am a romantic and make no apology for it whatsoever. Love is a wondrous fairytale to me and i’m love with it, with the way i am when i’m in love and the psychedelic effects the feeling has on everything we do. I’ll take the Shakespearian drama and chaos over grounded seriousness every time as it makes me feel alive, takes us to another place and is the glue that holds the whole world together. I can live out my 100 years limping, second-guessing, worrying and trying to be sensible, or i can get lost in the madness, fueled by my desries and spontaneity into experiences that last a lifetime and leave others open-mouthed. Love is gloriously irrational - its not meant to make any sense, have any reason or ordered substance. It is the one thing that defies logic and causes everyong to be a poet and a lunatic at the same time. The legendary love affairs border obsession and insanity, inspiring war and works of art in equal measure alike.

Chivalry and elegance are lost virtues - there is no reason not to go the extra mile and make life something more than what we think if can be. Every moment should be special and powerful in its own way, and our ultimate ambition should be to collect as many memories to share as we can before we lay down to rest watching them on the video player in our head. We may not achieve everything, but what matters is that we tried, and damn it we gave it everything. Its all about the last mile and the last inch of us as we invariably give up moments before we cross the finishing line. We are so tired and run down from the world beating on us that we can’t see we only need to work through the last remaining pebbles that make up the brick wall. What i can see is the moment we break through, and i focus on it to give me the wherewithall to keep punching away.

We spend our lives waiting. Every day we ask ourselves when what we want to happen will actually happen or when the time will be right. Then we look back on our years and lose ourself in the misery of realising we should have done something about it at the time instead of letting it pass us by. That is happening right now. In 10 years you will look back and ask yourself why you didn’t do it now. Second-guessing was a luxury our ancestors were never afforded as they never expected to live past 40 at the very most. We all think we’re going to live past 100 and make our plans that afford us plenty of time to cancel. For me, i’m not happy having something later that i could have now. For all i know, there won’t be a tomorrow because the only certainty in life is that we never know when we have will be taken away.

I’ll risk it all every time, no matter how many times. I will fear nothing because it is a choice i’ve made. There is no fire i wouldn’t walk through, no path i wouldn’t tread, no distance i wouldn’t travel and no pain that i wouldn’t go through. The impossible is possible with the will, resources and determination. I forgive and forget everything that happened yesterday so i can make the most of today and walk into tomorrow with a mind that is not impeded by the pain i’ve suffered, the worries i face or the obstacles in my way. Mistakes and failure are just feedback that you can use to adapt your next try so it is better and stronger. We all have it in us to rise above the circumstances we are swallowed by and change what we think can’t be changed.

For as Niccolo Machiavelli wrote in his eternal masterpiece, The Prince, “For my part I consider that it is better to be adventurous than cautious, because fortune is a woman, and if you wish to keep her under it is necessary to beat and ill-use her; and it is seen that she allows herself to be mastered by the adventurous rather than by those who go to work more coldly. She is, therefore, always, woman-like, a lover of young men, because they are less cautious, more violent, and with more audacity command her.”

Liberation, emancipation, self-actualisation, whatever your drug, they all lead to the same place. Where we are free of the dreary everyday concerns and in a spiritual place that doesn’t respect the walls and limits nature and our own fear physically puts on us. I try to live as close the edge as i can and experience every feeling and moment to its extreme so it washes over me and consumes me. When i’m in love, i’m drunk on her; when i’m angry, i’m explosive and deadly; when i am inspired, time stops until i unravel the mystery that perplexes me; when i’m jealous, i am murderous; when i’m happy, the whole world is smiling with me; when i’m passionate, every cell in my body is an uncontrollable infero. Because life is there to be savoured, commanded and violently indulged.

All we are is skin, bones and dust, and we live on through what we do and how we actually live. My choice has been to stand up and i don’t fear standing there on my own. I will take on entire groups of people and fight my way through anything that comes my way because i have the will and passion to do what the other guy won’t or can’t. I’ve seen inside me - the good and bad, and i know that everything in my head is simply waht i’ve been taught or adsorbed. I believe in everyone i know and love and will never stop. I will never give up or give in. I will never stop as long as there is a battle to be fought and a cause to rally behind. The fire in me can’t be extinguished by the cold splash of criticism, cynicism or sensibility. Every stone that hits me makes my resolve deeper and more robust like petrol thrown on the flames.

So when you are tired, i will carry you. When you’re angry, i’ll fight beside you. When you’re threatened, i’ll protect you. Where there is a path with no way through, i’ll tear it all down. For every breath, i’ll draw the same. I’ll do it forever as that’s who i am and what i choose. I don’t need a reason other than it is what should be done and i will do it for you first before you do it for me some day. Its the force that drives theblood around my body and the strength in my arms and legs. Its what i live for, what i see in the sky when i wake up in the morning and who i will be to you. Its what i will lay my life down for and feel no remorse about.

Ask me for a kiss and you will have it; argue with me and i’ll scream at you back; give to me and i will repay it threefold;  hold you hand out to be and i will put mine in yours; trust me and i will trust my life in yours; ask me to forgive you and i will wipe the slate clean;. I will do whatever it takes to find the wonder and enjoy the moment, because its all there is and i will carry it to my grave. I won’t remember the difficult and boring parts, only the most extraordinary times that took my breath away. I want a life that is full to the brim of those, rather than occasional and infrequent pin points on the map where it was fun. I want to be in love with what i’ve achieved and what this life has given me.

I take life very seriously, and i have little respect for those who don’t. Its a gift we all have that we take for granted, and i have seen those dark places on the planet where there is no hope but the flames of the bonfires on the roadside. We are lucky and have everything we need to survive, whereas there are people who are not so fortuitous and suffer just by the virtue they were born in the wrong place or to the wrong family. Something that precious cannot be taken for granted. There is no dress rehearsal, second chance or preparation time. This is it. This is all we have. Every second counts us down. We grab ir with both hands or we squander it gratuitously, throwing it into the faces of all those who crave the opportunities we have with envy. Its no use being charitable on Comic Relief Friday and then slapping others by your apathy and ingratitude.

For every ungrateful, apathetic Western indulgence there is someone wishing they had a second of what we do. Those fires on the side of the road will burn until we all have the same chances and opportunities, as well as realising that we there is no time but now.