You’re not even born yet. I don’t know who your mum is, what you look like or when you turned up. I’m dad. I’m the guy who is going to irritate you and tell you off. I’ll also be the one your mum shouts at all the time for letting you get away with too much and the person who is stupidly soppy and always telling you how proud of you he is.

I’ll try to teach you everything I can but I don’t know everything. I will be wrong too. A lot of it you’re going to have to learn yourself on the way and it won’t all be fun. Sometimes it’s going to be really hard but I’ll be there with you to pick you up when you fall down. Wherever you go, whatever you do, know that I love you more than anything and I am more proud of you than you will ever know. There will never be a time when I don’t love you. You will always be with me. I’ll be jumping up and down when you do well, running to catch you when you slip and holding you when you’ve fallen down.

My childhood damaged me heavily but I tried as hard as I could to learn how to be good enough to be your dad and fix everything I could find wrong with me so I didn’t pass on any of it to you. If I do anything that hurt you I’m sorry. I’m far from perfect. I just tried to do the best job I could and I hope you can forgive me for the mistakes I made. Never think or believe you weren’t wanted or I regret you. You are loved and always will be. You are perfect to with all your faults. I wouldn’t change a hair on your head. By the way, your mother drove me mad.

Discipline was there so you could learn how to discipline yourself. Punishment was there to show you there are consequences to your actions. I know you think I didn’t care but I did. I hated doing it but I know it was more important you had those things than my feelings were. You are too important not to. Always know you have rights, and know what they are. Exercise them and fight for them. Take what I taught you and teach others. When you have your own children, teach them to be better than me and better than you.

School will grow and discipline your mind. It will train you, but you need to fly. You may not need all the information, but the processes and socialising are vital to you for later life. Work hard but question what you are taught. Qualifications show you have worked hard, can persevere and have reached levels of competence, maturity and understanding. Find your own way to learn. After school your mind will slow down because it is not learning every day. You will need to keep your mind learning on your own after you leave. Don’t resent the years where you were formed. If you are bored, it’s your own fault. It’s up to you to find what you need, not for others to provide it.

Never, ever give in. Never give up. Always have courage. Always persist and persevere. Demand your share. Dare. Risk. Give everything you are and everything you have to everything you do. Fear nothing. Life is a journey, not a destination. Life is a game, and a ride. Life is a game of numbers and a matter of probability. This world is a human jungle. Play as hard as you work. You will win, and you will lose. You will succeed, and you will fail. Laugh and cry whenever you can. You came into this world with nothing and you will leave it the same way, as will I. Don’t be scared to die or give your life. You won’t die from not sleeping. The final 5 minutes are always the most important.

You are your own saviour and worst enemy. You must make your own choices and accept the consequences of your actions. Whatever you do will always affect those around you as well. Do whatever has never been done before. Do what others would never do. Do things that no-one would think of. Make the effort to be special, make others feel special, and do special and magical things. Look for the best in people. Accept your limits but challenge them. You are not a victim. You are not responsible for anyone else or their feelings so ignore those who try to make you responsible for them. You can only change yourself and your personal world. Say sorry with your actions and what you do, not your words. Judge people only by their actions. Make up after you argue and don’t linger in your frustrations. Never act in anger. Never pay lip service when you can kiss instead. Kiss forever.

It’s ok to make mistakes and fail. You will make a lot, just as I, and everyone else will. Forgive yourself. You will only learn from making them which is why they are so important. If you don’t know failure, you will never know success. When you fall, get back up again straight away and dust yourself off because the longer you leave it the harder it will be to do it. Grieve if you need to. Everything you are is about wanting to be loved, and every disease of the mind is about that need. Know when to open up and share, and when to close up. Don’t let one experience or memory poison all your future ones. Never stop learning or being open to new things. Never stop believing in those you love and the good they are capable of. Forgive them for the bad. Only the good feel guilty.

Always follow your heart and your gut instinct. You will need to make your own path for your own life and I can only help you so far. Your life is your own and you must decide your own fate. Don’t fear that. I will be there every day for you and will jump up and down when you succeed and cry when you slip and fall. Use your head to guide you but do what you feel. Go to the death for those you love. Feelings are just feelings – embrace them, enjoy them, suffer them and allow them to wash over you so you feel them to the most intense they can be. Always express them as bottling them up and pushing them down will slowly poison you. There are no good or bad feelings. Feel them all and don’t be ashamed or afraid to have them.

Help everyone you can and disregard those you realise you can’t. Accept what you cannot change, but have the courage to change what needs to be changed. Always follow your heart. You won’t always be right. Do whatever you can to live a life that challenges and inspires others. Nothing is impossible. Nothing. You can do anything your heart desires and your mind imagines, even if they tell you that you can’t. Listen to others but think for yourself. You can save the world on a rainy day. Always rise above your station. Fear will try to hold you back and trick you – win the war with it early so you are not battling it all your life. Don’t try to teach the blind to see or the deaf to hear.

Stand up and fight for what you believe in, but know when to back down and be the first to apologise. Not everyone will wish you well and want the best for you, and often they will be people you love. Choose your friends carefully because people’s moods and dispositions are contagious – avoid the perpetually miserable and hopeless. Be ruthless to those who stand in your way and love those you love like it is your last hours with them. Fight for those you love with your last breath. Show them you care with your soul. Always tell them how you feel and why you love them as it could your last moment with them. Ask for help and let those who love you support you.  Find your balance in the grey as life is rarely simple enough to be black and white.

There will be those who try to hurt you, control you, anger you, manipulate you, force you, scare you and convince you that you are not worth as much as you are. You are precious, special and deserve the best that life has to offer. Never believe them. Never assume they are right just because they tell you strongly. Most of the time someone said the same to them and that’s where they ended up for believing them. See them for what they are. Learn who to trust and why you should trust them. Don’t throw your pearls to swine. Some you will never be able to reach. Don’t pity those who could help themselves.

Pass on what you learn freely. Never envy what someone else has – create something better. Don’t steal what is someone else’s and don’t let anyone steal what is yours. Change is the way life works; it is not to be feared. Everything is changing all the time and nothing stays the same forever. Your life will move in the direction of your most dominant thoughts. Learn to focus and concentrate your energies and find your niche. Be different. Be unique. Stand out but be able to be part of the crowd. Imagine your standing ovation and be the loudest noise for someone else’s.

Everyone finds different people attractive, so there is no ugly. You will be pretty and ugly in equal measure to different people. You are more than your body. Those who are trying to make themselves as attractive as they can on the outside are often making up for how unattractive they feel on the inside. You don’t need 10% of what marketing tells you that you do. Don’t be taken in by material possessions or the lie that they define who you are or make you happy. You will be lied to more than you realise, so learn to value and recognise truth, which, with honesty, must come above all things.

Be kind. Try not to judge. Be fascinated by adversity and relish it. Adsorb yourself in life’s tapestry and find beauty in everything. Be strong but know when to be weak. Create and design yourself and don’t allow anyone else to. Find your voice and make your gifts so strong that it’s difficult to see your weaknesses. Don’t mourn the past. Enjoy the moment. Be excited for the future. Nothing is so terrible that it can’t be fixed or healed with patience and tenacity. Love cures and conquers all. Learn when to hold on and when to let go. You will only remember the people and the feelings. Swim with the tide and crash with the waves.

Money, power, lust and vanity corrupt all men. Always have integrity and never compromise your principles. Set and know your own boundaries, and enforce them. The things that give short-term pleasure often cause or prolong long-term damage. Make wealth your goal, not riches. Money brings responsibility and problems, it doesn’t solve them. Money for its own sake is pointless. You cannot take it with you and you only want what you can get in exchange for it. Know it, learn about it, manage it well and understand it. Give it away as much as you acquire it. Don’t let it consume you. Bring light to wherever there is dark and love to where there is desolation.

You will get your heart broken many times. The first time will be so awful that you will feel like you can’t live on, can barely move or face another day. It will pass. Nobody will be able to say anything to make you feel better and only time and distance can sear the wounds. It will come back in pulses that get lighter and shorter each time. Never close up so you can’t love again. Always love again. You will always love that person, but you will move on and discover someone new who you love even more deeply. Always celebrate romance and be as romantic as you can. Never take another person for granted and always remember they are their own separate self, not something you own or control. The only thing to live for is love. Love has no agenda, it just is. Love strongly, passionately and purely. Never let hurt cripple you.

Pain is a vital part of life, so don’t resist it. You always suffer pain when you grow, and always grow when you suffer pain. Most pain is important – you need to feel it to learn a lesson or empathises with others. The ultimate prize in life is wisdom. Knowledge without it is dangerous and useless. You’re not dying today. Life will come for you when its time. What’s meant for you will not pass you by. Everything happens for a reason and you don’t normally find out that is for a long time afterwards when you look back. Making the right decision is hard and gets harder each time.

Never give up hope. Wherever there is evil there is good. One cannot co-exist without the other. Your life is short and you must be the one who saviours it and lives it. Your moment and opportunity is right now, not in the future or in the past. Feel it. Commit to it. Believe in yourself. Love yourself. Become what you want to be and know that whoever and whatever you are, Don’t be scared to leave me behind. The more able you are to live on your own, the more successful I’ve been. I am with you, I love you, I believe in you, I’m proud of you, you are mine and you always have a home where I am.

Dad