Archive for July, 2007

28
Jul

courage, honour and cowardice

By Alex Cameron 0 Comments
Categories: Business, Jedi Skills, Life, Rants, Romance and Wisdom

Read those words as they are and it conjures up images of heroic abandon – knights on horses, Roman gladiators and royal courtiers on trial. But they are words we have totally lost track of, ideas we no longer understand and values that are somewhere in the ether and no longer taught to our children anywhere. They are foreign concepts that form the core of literature but don’t feature anywhere in our natural 21st century lives. We just take them for granted and flippantly brush them away as old-fashioned romanticism. They are “higher” ideals that escape us in the midst of the daily chaos of our everyday lives, but when lived out inspire us in heart, mind and soul.

Back in those medieval days we associate them with, the average life expectancy was often less than 40 due to disease, war and basic medical knowledge, so every second mattered and your legacy was carved in the minds of people, not on a movie reel or a book in a library. What you did with your life and how you did it meant everything, and it set both your and your family’s reputation for generations. People lived their lives wedded to the ideals that all of us innately hold is such high esteem. We aspired to them, men died for them. Nations and cultures devised entire constitutions based on their integrity.

Somewhere we’ve lost that dedication and passion.

The media shares a lot of culpability for our devolution, as does postmodern consumer culture. We aren’t encouraged to live our lives and make our own history, we are seduced into living our lives vicariously through TV programs and movies. Everything we want to be and want to do is expressed on video screens and satiates the desire we all have to be loved, heroic, noble and remembered. The actors and players take all the risks for us inside stories that don’t even touch on real life and make us believe that we should have more than we do. But those desires, that burning, are there for a reason, and have always been there.

People often ask me if I get disheartened by the length of time it’s taken to bring Prophecy to fruition and whether my credibility has suffered as a result. My answer almost always surprises them, as it’s a resounding “no”. Not because I’m superhuman or in some strange denial, but simply as persistence by itself gives credibility. It means you’re serious, totally committed and will never back down when the going gets tough. It shows you won’t crumble when things look like they’re falling apart and you’re battle-hardened and focused like a laser. Consistency is a powerful indicator of your will and that credibility. Even if it all did fall apart, I’d go on with a standing ovation simply for my strength in persisting.

Let’s start with definitions to give us a strong foundation. Firstly the notion of courage, then what honour is, and finally, the revolting idea of cowardice.

cour·age /ˈkɜrɪdʒ, ˈkʌr-/ –noun
1. the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.
2. Obsolete. the heart as the source of emotion.
—Idiom
3. have the courage of one’s convictions, to act in accordance with one’s beliefs, esp. in spite of criticism.

hon·our /ˈɒnər/ –noun
1. honesty, fairness, or integrity in one’s beliefs and actions.
2. a source of credit or distinction: to be an honour to one’s family.
3. high respect, as for worth, merit, or rank: to be held in honour.
4. such respect manifested: a memorial in honour of the dead.
5. high public esteem; fame; glory.

and finally, the opposite of courage:

cow·ard-ice /ˈkaʊərd/ –noun
1. lacking courage in facing danger, difficulty, opposition, pain, etc.; being timid or easily intimidated.
–adjective
2. lacking courage; very fearful or timid.
3. proceeding from or expressive of fear or timidity.

Strong emotive stuff. They amount to the idea of being respected, trusted and admired as a person who is brave, consistent, goes the extra mile and lives their life to the very full like it will end tomorrow. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve seen morons adopt maxims about living your life to the full and its about offensive as it gets simply because they wouldn’t know the essence of vitality in their lives if it smacked them round the face. These values and ideas aren’t optional. They are a duty and obligation that’s incumbent on all of us and not just a masculine macho notion. We all have a duty to inspire and motivate others, as they do us. In a community that holds the idea the inspiring each other at its centre, amazing things start to happen.

It’s all well and good recounting tales of courage or enjoying its rewards when everything is going well, but that’s not what the virtue itself is. It is something that is demanded and subsequently discovered in our darkest hour and our weakest moments, not when we’re feeling happy or invincibly strong as an ox. Courage is feeling the fear beforehand but doing it anyway. It’s going into the line of fire, taking risks, getting hurt, being humiliated and suffering pain. It means going in with passion, force and will, knowing we will be injured. It means you don’t know what’s going to happen – there’s a big black foggy void ahead in the future and it could all go terribly wrong.

But courage also has it gentle moments, where it can be the most profound. It is overruling your despair and thinking positively when all you want to do is curl up in bed and cry it away. It’s having faith when there is no reason to, and the whole world seems like its crashing in on you. It’s getting back on the horse when you’ve been violently kicked off and humiliated. It’s going against the grain, standing up on your own when everyone else thinks you’re mad or wrong, or telling someone you love them when you have no idea at all if they feel the same or whether they will reject you and knock you back. There are no guarantees with courage, but the truth expression of such a virtue is walking in with dignity and strength when you know you are almost going to die or get badly hurt.

Those risks are terrifying, which makes the courage to put yourself in harm’s way all the more dramatic and admirable. It means you go in knowing there is no back-up plan, safety net or any guarantee you will succeed or live through it. There is nothing to soften the blow if you fail or fall, but the making the leap and striking out regardless is paramount because fortune favours the brave, and you fight for your values and principles. The biggest risks carry the biggest rewards, but the hidden joy of courage is that the world always admires someone who adheres to their principles and acts bravely in the face of resistance, even if they don’t agree with them. The underdog is almost always favoured over the incumbent. Politicians and world statesmen aim to be that character than personifies the hero.

Courage is born and inbuilt as a natural virtue we all have, whereas cowards are made. We innately respond to courage emotionally and are deeply inspired, and we also automatically react with revulsion and contempt to cowardice, even if we claim to understand and have compassion for a person’s weakness. Underneath, we don’t understand and we don’t respect it. Armies shoot deserters, and in many African and Asian countries, you can be murdered by your own family for bringing shame on them with your cowardly behaviour.

One thing does need to be said however. Courage isn’t a principle indulged in exclusively by the “strong”. The greatest and most profound acts of courage are demonstrated by those who are weak or vulnerable. When they stand up and strike out, the whole world notices because it’s extraordinarily dramatic and requires more strength than whole groups can muster collectively. True bravery comes from these people and their moments of heroism, not from the typically noble Goliath renowned for his/her impenetrable armour and wilful argument. Those are the times for standing ovations.

You also can’t talk a coward round, and I learnt this lesson recently. One of Aesop’s Fables teach that no matter what you say or how you argue it, words will never inspire courage in a coward. It’s an infectious and disgusting disease, and shows itself in the modern first world as bystander apathy. It won’t happen to me, it’s not my problem, someone else will do something about it, don’t stick your neck out, don’t make a scene, lead a quiet life and be like everyone else. In short, that pathetic bystander apathy. The fear of doing anything that will draw attention to yourself or draw the spotlight onto you in more detail in case they see your shortcomings and/or humiliation. What’s missing is the will and determination to stand out.

Bullies and sadists are cowards, but we often don’t believe that because of their violence and the accompanying intimidation that comes with it. Bullies never pick on those who are bigger than them, and only stop when it’s too much hassle to carry on harassing their victim. Standing up to one once isn’t enough, because they come back to try again. Bullies don’t pick on those they know are brave or courageous as they don’t have similar qualities and fear them in others. The key is keep standing up to them and making the consequences worse each time. Acts of courage can be discerned from false bravery in that courage always requires an uphill struggle, whereas “strong” forceful behaviour found in things like bullying is always the easy option, with easy prey, and no challenge whatsoever.

Social cowardice is even more pervasive and engaged in under the guise of diplomacy, particularly by women and their natural instincts to keep the peace and maintain harmony. People-pleasing, keeping people happy, pacifying, lying, being “diplomatic” with hints and indirect speech, passive aggressive behaviour and doing anything you can to avoid an argument or conflict of any kind is naïve, foolish and ultimately cowardly. It’s a simple case of not wanting to face difficult situations and finding a way to back out. It may be awkward and uncomfortable, but conflict is a natural, inevitable and healthy fact of life that only the childish and terrified run from it like its some unnatural and threatening event.

Bills, house prices, debt, social awkwardness all keep us down and obedient. There is something deeply worrying about a culture that actively suppresses courage and encourages bystander apathy, a.k.a cowardice. It’s not in anyone’s interest for the community to be softened. War, change, evolution and social diversity are what catalyse growth and provide the adversity that reveals genius.

Our battlefields that we need heroism on aren’t fought with guns, swords or long-distance weapons. Our battlefields are the heart, the knowledge industries, cyberculture, our economical ecosystem and the desperate need to make the world a better place. What we need are heroes that inspire us in these places. Just as heroism on the blood-stained battlefield stirs the deepest of emotion, the smallest gestures in the sterile, mechanical and formulaic 9 to 5 life can change the world. As one very wise man so beautifully, if you don’t believe one on his own cannot change the world, try to go to sleep in a room with a noisy mosquito.

Being brave isn’t a luxury, its a duty for all of us and if you’re spiritually inclined, a direct command from a warrior God with his cloak soaked in blood:

“Have I not commanded you ‘Be strong and courageous’? Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9 (New International Version)

There you have it, straight from the the boss. I made the heavens and the earth. I built you for this. Don’t waste what i’ve given you by being a fucking pussy.

In case you forgot, in the words of Peter, my exec coach, when he always poses the simple question of “what does [feeling|concept|thing] look like?” this is what courage looks like. When was the last time you were that brave?

So if you’re feeling ineffective, weak, disillusioned, directionless, frustrated, confused, lost, unsure or apathetic, its because you’re not doing what you are designed for when you should be. You’re a coward. In the same way that if you’re bored, its simply a) your own fault, and b) because you’re boring. You’re too comfortable. You’re not taking enough risks. And you’re denying your nature and justifying it to yourself with silly self-deception like you want a quiet life, have bills to pay, that you couldn’t do it, would upset someone or that its not worth it. The point is you aren’t the person you think you are, sat behind your desk and limping around trying to make sure nobody finds out that you actually don’t know what you’re doing.

Your hopelessness and perpetual feeling of being lost is not only about lacking a direction or purpose, it’s about not having strong values and principles as the central foundation of who you are. If they are not imparted in you in the early days, you’re required to develop, nurture and live them yourself on your own initiative. They determine how you live and the standards you aspire to. Without a framework, you are just a sprawling mass of chaotic jelly, oozing under the nearest door instead of opening it with a strong hand and continually falling apart and complaining.

Fear is a barrier, and it is a disgusting pathetic thief. Growing your life on fear and the bitter pain of past experience only achieves one end – a wishbone where your backbone should be. The alternative madness of facing off anyone and anything is the school of hard knocks and baptises you in fire for what’s next. Your strength, integrity and fiercesome will are always remembered. Wanting to give in or give up isn’t cowardly – actually doing it is.

And at the end, it all comes down to one thing, as morbid as it sounds. You have to know that some day, you will die. And as Tyler Durden preaches, until you know that, you are completely useless. There’s nothing morbid or depressing about appreciating your existence is temporary, quite the opposite – it encourages you to live for every second, just as they did many hundreds of years ago. It’s the only thing that’s certain in your life, and everyone else’s. You’re running out of time.

Darwin’s theory of natural selection is very, very clear: only the strong survive. We all know those who are wishy-washy almost 23 hours out of the 24. The ones who never know which side of the fence they are on, even if there is fence in the first place or where that fence might be. Stragglers who become estranged from the herd and its leaders fall behind, get preyed on and trodden underfoot. They are the first to be targeted and ripped apart. Hiding in the herd doesn’t protect them, as the only way to survive is to be strong enough to be one of those cornerstones that forms part of the herd’s structure in the first place.

So if you are one of the wishy-washy, indecisive, wet blanket, soggy cabbage types who can never make their mind up or decide what they want, you’re going to die as you’re meant to. You’re going to get crushed and thrown away, and I’m glad for it. My indifference is quite obvious, and your destruction, sublimation of concession means nothing to me. You’ve earned it, and you deserve it. That might be cruel, but once you’ve got over the teenage baby ideal that everything should be nicey-nicey.,nature’s way makes sense and becomes very real. Complain as you must, but you exist inside nature and are part of it. It’s the world’s way and it’s a bit like pointing your finger and complaining as you’re attacked by a lion or facing a tidal wave.

Complaining is a favourite activity of drama queens and attention whores, who never seem to have enough or appreciate what they have. They create drama in their lives because its not there on its own, i.e. their lives are boring, meaningless and empty. If your life isn’t exciting enough on its own, you make your own drama. Those who live truly vital and exciting lives don’t need to create it and often play it down as they have enough already. Their time is spent managing the chaos and bringing it to some order, alongside finding time to rest and recuperate. The moral of the story being that you should treat anyone making a lot of noise with suspicion and contempt, not any kind of concern or reverence.

Don’t try to save these people, or even to help them to change their minds. Don’t sympathise with those who have every opportunity to better themselves, create a world that’s better than their ancestors had or just desire more in their life, and then have cowed and shunned action when the window arrived. Some just drift along, never knowing what to do, where they are going, what they want and just can’t be bothered to work it out. Not bothering to help yourself is a choice like any other, these people are not victims. They are destined to be mediocre and die unsung. Leave them to fall because you cannot assume responsibility for them, mourn their inevitable loss vicariously or force the horse to drink once you’ve led it to the water.

Life requires hard choices, and those choices just keep getting harder as the 2 sides of a story split into dozens and black and white become a million shades of grey. We must rise to those decisions, not shrink from them. And once we have made them, we must stick by them, come what may. Decisiveness, strength and pragmatic action are the only things that blast us through the glass ceilings and invisible plateaus we face every day. The oil fires from the first Iraq war were put out by controlled explosions that suffocated the oxygen from around the flames at the ends of the oil pipes themselves, and it’s a similar metaphor for moving forwards decisively. Decisiveness, authority and strength put out the fires we need to fight every day, and the expression of that is often in acts of courage. Any resulting chaos within our control is usually due to cowardice.

Fortune favours the brave and the bold, and has always done for millennia.  You can’t walk on water unless you get out of the boat, and you cannot win anything unless you take the risk of failing. But ironically, that risk of failing is what drives you on, and it propels you to action so you won’t fail. Nobody who has ever given everything they have to something has ever regretted it, and arguably even more valuable rewards and lessons come from the process itself. The prize is just icing on the proverbial cake. This is the reason for going out and doing it that is always, always overlooked.

You are responsible for your own life and if you don’t make your decisions, someone else will make them for you. The world owes you nothing, so don’t complain when it rapes and purges you like it does to everyone else – you’re nothing different to the billions of others that have come before you in the last 3000 years and the only way you stop yourself drowning is to fight back, for yourself, and for those you care about. The success of the few is arguably dependent on the relative failure of the many. If you want, and you desire, no-one is going to help you or do it for you. If you wake up in the morning having to force yourself to work, then do something about it because if all you want to do is whinge, eventually everyone will stop listening and just let you drift off.

One of the most important and profound things that anyone can ever tell you:

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Harold Whitman

26
Jul

the 8 types of female orgasm

By Alex Cameron 0 Comments
Categories: Jedi Skills, Life and Romance

Naturally, being women, 1 type of orgasm isn’t good enough, so they have, wait for it…. 8 different types. But they’ve kind of shot themselves in the foot too, as now they have to fake 8 different ways. Most men don’t even know they have more than 1, so when your girlfriend reads this, you really are for the chop.

1. The Clitoral Orgasm
This orgasm occurs at the peak of clitoral stimulation. It begins with intense sexual excitement within the clitoris and as the orgasm peaks it sends a surge of pleasure throughout the body. Only several years ago did Masters & Johnson dispel the myth that this was the only kind of orgasm that women could have, when they showed proof of the g-spot orgasm. The clitoris is the most sexually sensitive part of a woman’s body and sexual arousal is always felt on some level in the clitoris no matter where the orgasm takes place. It is usually the case that sexual arousal first originates in the clit, and is considered an orgasmic starting point.

What Does It Feel Like?
Clitoral orgasms can be very intense, but may not be as “deep” as others. These orgasms are no doubt very, very pleasureful and helpful in achieving female ejaculation. Stimulating the clitoris can be a very good place to start when trying to achieve female ejaculation, after providing stimulation to the g-spot.

2. The Vaginal/ Cervical Orgasm
This orgasm may begin in the vagina and/or cervix, and expand from there, as well as can remain focused the entire time in those areas. This orgasm is demonstrated when the vagina remains snug and the uterus does not elevate. During the heightening of excitement, the vaginal opening becomes more lax and then bears down upon the arrival of an orgasm. The pelvic muscles and uterus, as well as the anus may begin to contract as well. At the peak of the orgasm, anything inside the vagina being used for stimulation may be forced out by the strength of the contractions.

What Does It Feel Like?
This orgasm usually takes longer to build, and is best achieved with rhythmic thrusting. Even more helpful is thrusting after being clitorally stimulated. Many women describe it as a pressure that grows and then explodes deep with in the vagina, quickly spreading intense, euphoric energy throughout the entire body. This orgasm can release an intense emotional response as it provides women with a sense of being penetrated more than just physically, but also in an emotionally vulnerable sense.

3. The Breast Orgasm
The breast orgasm occurs during a peak of stimulation to the breasts. Because breast stimulation often occurs earlier in a woman’s life than vaginal contact, many women become acquainted with this type. The nipples connect to the feminine genital nervous system, and many women feel a direct connection with their clitoris when their nipples are being stimulated. It is during this type of orgasm that many women feel uterine contractions that are not as noted during a clitoral orgasm. Most women feel sexual excitement from having their nipples stimulated, however not all have a direct association with their genitals, as this depends on nipple sensitivity.

What Does It Feel Like?
Most women indicate that the orgasm brought about from breast stimulation is a full, slow building, and strong orgasm. Women who have pierced nipples have indicated that if the piercing has not damaged or interfered with the nerve endings in the nipples, that these types of orgasms are quite easily achieved and with great intensity.

4. The Oral Orgasm
This orgasm, while ignored by many researchers does exist. Usually this orgasm occurs in women who are more orally sensitive. Because the mouth is a primary human sensory organ, and is the main source of nurturing and pleasure during our early formative years, it plays a very important role in the sexual nervous system. The mouth orgasm can occur during any sensual oral activity, from kissing, licking, sucking, to oral sex. The particular activity that will induce an oral orgasm is more dependent on the individual’s psychological attraction to certain sexual activities, as well as the areas of the mouth that feel most sexually stimulated. This can be on the lips, tongue, and on the roof of the mouth to areas deep within the throat, and/or a combination of oral contacts.

What Does It Feel Like?
Most women have indicated that the sexual stimulation begins in the lips and can spread from the mouth to the genitals, and even the whole body. The intensity and sensations of this orgasm varies from person to person, although many women indicate that there is a tingling, erotic feeling, which builds in the roof of the mouth.

5. The G-Spot Orgasm
This orgasm may begin at the g-spot and stay focused there throughout the building and final release of the orgasm, or may expand throughout the body. This orgasm is demonstrated when the g-spot is stimulated and becomes “puffy” and swollen as the tissue surrounding the female Paraurethral/Skenes glands fill with blood during sexual arousal. This results in the tissue becoming firm to the touch.

What Does It Feel Like?
Like the vaginal orgasm, this usually takes longer to build. Because the g-spot is not stimulated as much by friction as it is with pressure. Thus, using a rhythmic, “pushing” against the g-spot is more pleasureful than light rubbing. As discussed earlier, the stimulation of the g-spot increases the fluid build up in the Paraurethral/Skenes glands and thus easily enhances female ejaculation. This is why many researchers make the error of assuming that this is the only orgasm that will evoke female ejaculation. Most women describe this type of orgasm as an intense, deeply sensual pressure that builds until it feels like the entire vagina explodes with ecstasy (often including cum) and usually followed by euphoric energy that spreads throughout entire body.

6. The Anal Orgasm
This orgasm originates in the anus and is usually induced by rhythmic insertion of an object into the anus. Because women do not have a prostate it was thought that they would not enjoy anal sex as much as a man would, however, the Paraurethral/Skenes glands are stimulated through the pressure to the upper vaginal wall during this sexual activity. Therefore, those nerve endings provide a pleasureful sensation to the rectal and anal tissue.

What Does It Feel Like?
Most women have described the anal orgasm as feeling like a building of sensual pleasure form the nerve endings in the anus, and creating an erotic sensation in the vagina, g-spot, and/or clitoris. The simultaneous stimulation of the anus merges with the heightening arousal in the females’ genitals and creates a deep and powerful orgasm that may even spread throughout the entire body.

7. The Mental Orgasm
This orgasm can be brought about by visual and auditory environmental stimulation (i.e.: sexual behavior exhibited in front of the individual via in-person, movies, or other). Women can become so turned on by this type of stimulation that they actually climax from the sheer excitement they are experiencing in their mind. It has been long said that desire is in the mind and this type of orgasm is a good example of that. Those skilled in such methods as meditation and deep mind focus are generally more skilled at achieving this type of orgasm.

What Does It Feel Like?
The sensation of this orgasm will vary from person to person, however most women indicate that this kind of orgasm is felt in the genitals, primarily the clitoris and g-spot, and thus produces a similar feeling to those types of orgasms.

8. The Whole Body Orgasm
This orgasm can be brought about by stimulation to any body part including the mind. In fact, many eastern cultures have long practiced whole body orgasms through techniques varying from karma sutra positions to meditation. It is most often achieved with overcoming inhibitions and completely surrendering oneself to the sexual experience. A technique that is found helpful in reaching this type of orgasm is using the breath as a tool. Breathing in short, sexually heighten breaths create a sense of euphoria and allows for the body to experience increased sensitivity.

What Does It Feel Like?
It is felt in waves throughout the entire body and a rush of vibrations tingle within and throughout the body. Many describe feeling almost transported to a spiritual place in which they are experience pure bliss.

26
Jul

my shitlist: i fucking hate you

By Alex Cameron 3 Comments
Categories: Life and Rants

Here it is. The one you’ve all been waiting for. I know its been a while since i published, but i’ve been a busy boy. I have 9 articles lined up here in varying stages of completion, and they’ll be up soon. Right now i just don’t have the time to even breath, let alone write. But this one is going out simply as it needs to. I’ve broadened the list to *types* of people and things i hate too.

———————————————————————————

“Hate” is a strong word. When i first put this up, 3 separate people asked me why i was wasting my time writing about people i hate instead of being more constructive. The answer is brutally basic: i don’t waste time writing this stuff, it just comes out as and when i’m on the move and i get the chance to add a paragraph here and there. There’s no great intellectual and spiritual points here, just the raw truth. For me, hate is just as real as love, i acknowledge i’m capable of both. I don’t go around pretending to live like a smiley fucking buddhist foo-foo trying to be nice to everyone and i feel it as strongly as i feel affection for those who are close to me.

I’m not big on forgiveness or forgetting transgressions, as i believe they both need to be earned, not given freely. So here’s the list. Before you make the point, this doesn’t cost me any energy or time. It doesn’t require effort. And i don’t fucking care if you know. Sue me. Therapy time.

My father
Well charity begins at home, and what a role model i have. No, i’m not an emo kid who blames everything on his parents. Emotionally dead, physically and sexually abusive, financially incapable, militantly right-wing and self-righteous, seething and passive-aggressive and wrong/stupid in about everything he ever does. One day there will be forgiveness, but not in my lifetime. You can’t beat me any more old man, and its your turn to be scared of me now, and you’re getting smaller and older every day. For every hand you raise, every animal you’ve neglected to death and every second you’ve held us back and kept us ill just to nurse us there will be a fist and a newspaper headline to rub it in your face that i’m 2000x the man you would have had me be already. Bow down to me and i’ll relieve the suffering i enjoy watching so much.

Margaret Hodge
Ok, we don’t know each other, but i’d happily punch your fucking lights out for presiding over the worst paedophile scandal in public service history at Islington council. And then the nerve to accept the position of Children’s Minister? That beggars belief and the audacity is just staggering. You’re smug, self-serving, intellectually and morally bankrupt, charisma-less and a chronic beaureaucrat who should never have been allowed near a meeting room, let alone fucking Parliament. May you die an early death and your corpse violated in a nationwide, hilariously gratuitous bukkake session.

Joe Harrison
A schizophrenic, alcoholic Maverick-from-Top-Gun obsessive with an absurdly compulsive inferiority complex. If i have my way you’ll never see your son and he’ll be shielded forever from any shit you could put him through. The only thing that stops me from hoping you die is simply the effect it would have on him. Otherwise, 3 restraining orders and 10 charges in the high court should have convinced you by now that you lost. You lost everything. The girl, your son, your career, and the few friends you had to begin with. You’re a laughing stock and i’ll be howling with the whole of Hants police when they eventually send you down to get sodomised in the showers of the nearest prison. Die you piece of shit freak.

Paula Rees
You’re fat. You’re ugly. You smell revolting. You’re dull. Next time you cut yourself up or try a cry-for-help suicide attempt that wastes ambulance driving time, make sure you cut lengthways as the artery you need lies between the bone and tendon. Even you can get that right. You have no purpose or value. Your life is pointless. You contribute nothing, never evolve or learn the lessons from your ever-growing list of retarded and destructive mistakes, and to make matters worse you think the whole world is wrong and you’re the only one on the right track. Must be lonely on that road, considering you can’t see the other 59 million or so people are somewhere else.

Tim Flowers
You pathetic, back-stabbing, self-serving smug little cock. You’re a fat Australian twat with a thoroughly undeserved superiority condition. I’ll be even when i find you again and you’re going to wish you never tried to fuck with me. How on earth you managed (other than using date rape drugs) to find yet another fat Australian girl to marry you and allow you to wheeze way on top of her is beyond my comprehension. A conversation with you is like being savaged by wet rotten vegetables. You say you’re modest, and my god you have a lot to be modest about. Die painfully you obese wretched fuck.

Laura Binnie
You’re a vacuous fairweather friend, utterly selfish and self-adsorbed to the point of delusion. Sheltered, naive, boring, disinterested and plain obnoxious. Hilariously, its totally unjustified. There’s no point going around clubs looking for “fit blokes” as they wouldn’t be interested unless they were in a fucking wheelchair or were so drunk they were being carried out on a stretcher into the back of an ambulance. You don’t deserve your friends, and i’m going to laugh when the big bad world mummy told you about eats you up and spits you out. Slag me off again and i’ll fucking tear your heart out of your throat for you to mop your tears with.

[removed]

Scunthorpe Chavs et al
Ebony, Dale, Mel, Tammy, “Ger” (if you exist), and all the rest of you cheap low-IQ Northern scum. Thank god you’re not clever or driven enough to leave that human sewage plant, as the UK would be overwhelmed by a supply of petrol station attendants and supermarket cashiers and the filthy gin-slag local nightclubs would go out of business. If we could round you all up over a mass grave and AK-47 the lot of you i’d be there with a beer in hand, listening to Gloria Gaynor and celebrating the removal of a whole infestation of vermin that would also be freeing up several litres of free oxygen for the rest of us. Ideally we need to consider aborting you before birth to avoid the problem of your nefarious existence.

Alan ***
I’ve starred out your last name out of respect for one of your victims because she’s so close to me. You’re a fucking paedophile, we know you’re still doing it, and you’re time is very nearly up. You’ll pay for what you’ve done and you’re on your way to prison for a long time after i’ve reported you to the police up north. No more laughing and being the family fool. I’m glad i never came face to face with you or had to hold your hand, because i would have spat in it. I’ll come for you in the night when you sleep. You’ve earned it, and for second you robbed i hope your skin burns alive for 1000 years.

Rapists A, B and C
I will find you. No more hiding, no more living out your lives nice and comfortably under the protection of the fear of those i love. There will be a billboard with your faces on Piccadilly whether you are tried or not and i don’t give a shit about the consequences. You pathetic, quasi-human cowards deserve worse than death and if i had the choice, you’d be surgically paralysed as quadriplegic and tongueless for the rest of your natural lives just to experience 1% of the suffering you’ve caused to innocent and pure-hearted people - people who’ve taken on the shame that should have held you back before your lust for power and violence took hold.

Honourable mentions
Brad Chandler (for sexual harassing my girlfriend and sister), Nicola Riley (if you get run over, i’ll piss on your grave), Nina Guy (you’re just plain moronic, childish and dull), Gav Moger (soulless and weird), Gerry L*****g (most obnoxious venture capitalist i’ve ever met, and that’s saying something)

  • Attention Whores (die you childish little scum)
  • Ex-boyfriends (who seem to like re-introducing themselves as soon as they hear about me)
  • Female arrogance (every girl is a relationship guru? I don’t think so)
  • South West Trains (I’m a taxpayer subsidising your incompetence and you have the nerve to moralise to me?
  • MySpace (ugly pages, paedophiles and people pretending to be something they’re not)
  • Emo kids (you’re pathetic - go and spend some time in the 3rd world)
  • Middle class Daily Mail readers (template right-wing fear-mongering judgmental idiots)
  • Jobsworths (you are pointless)
  • Vegans (why do you think we have canine teeth?)

Phew. I could carry on for a while. I feel better. I’m also available for children’s parties and bar mitzvahs.

16
Jul

an amazing morning every day

By Alex Cameron 0 Comments
Categories: Business and Jedi Skills

Now the question you have to ask yourself occasionally is what exactly you’d be doing if you had all the money in the world, complete with no bills, agendas or reasons to report in every day other than you are just totally in love with what you do.

For me, that’s doing things that have never been done before that make other people go “wow”, typically based around the arts and/or technology.

So i like the idea of using nature to beat man’s evil, for example genetically modifying cress to flower a different colour where landmines are secretly hidden in the soil.

Or maybe, it would be working at MIT and finding a cure for fear.

But the ultimate sexy project that no-one could possibly afford or contemplate would be terraforming a planet to sustain human and animal life.

[At a typical Foo-Foo cocktail party]
“So what did do you do 9 to 5 then if you’re not in thei nsurance business like all of us?”
“Well, right now we’re terraforming a new planet.”
“Oh.”
[end of conversation]

11
Jul

devils wear angels’ faces

By Alex Cameron 0 Comments
Categories: Business, Life, Rants, Romance and Wisdom

I strike up the strangest of conversations with the most random of people on a daily basis. What i love about this life is how we all crash into one another almost coincidentally and the most flippant of moments can yield incredible wisdom or change our outlook. I was talking with the plumber mending Sam’s toilet a few weeks ago and noticed he had a Japanese lettering tattoo like i have. When i asked him what it meant, he replied “Devils wear angels’ faces“, and it was a reminder for him after a particularly bad relationship to be more circumspect about the people he let into his world. Very appropriate at the time and also very wise. How i wish i took that advice so many times in my own life. Its so much easier to preach than to live your own teaching. Every hypocrite’s pockets are always bulging with love.

I learnt recently that what angers me most is experiencing someone refusing to show compassion when they are able to; someone defiantly and stubbornly not granting the kindness or love to another person who deserves it when they have it at their disposal to give. If there is someone who is in need or at risk, there is no reason whatsoever not to go out of your way to help. The alleged “reason” not to is your own selfish indulgence or vested interests and that’s completely unacceptable to me. Help is almost always free and easy. If you can relieve or end the suffering of another human being, you must do it. Not to do so is an abuse of power and an abhorrent travesty of your own appreciation for the preciousness of those you love and the good fortune in your own life. If you wanted to summarise, it’s not OK to be a selfish little shit. If you want to anger me, refuse to help someone when you can, or just stand there doing nothing when you could help.

The only exception to this is when helping someone will do more damage than refusing, in the true sense of killing them with kindness. Alcoholics & Narcotics Anonymous recommend the practice of “tough love” for family members dealing with addicts, who tend to exhibit childlike compuslive mentalities. In many ways, that in itself is help. I’m not saying you should gratuitiously help anyone and everyone, just that you must act if the situation demands it after you have judged it to be genuine. If you’re my father for example, its more important to have people account to you and explain themselves to determine whether you are worthy and being reasonable before he decides whether he will lend a helping hand.

Inaction in general makes me furious. If you have the answer to a problem or know the way to resolve a situation but just sit there doing nothing, you’ll have me screaming at you in no time. I just don’t get those who stand there appearing scared or gormless, not correcting an issue when they could. Breakdowns between people often mean we put barriers up to defend and separate ourselves from those who we dislike, fear or worry will hurt us. But interestingly we almost always leave the barrier unattended so that person will see it and attempt to dismantle it, because doing that shows us we are important to them, they know us well and they care. The barrier is often deliberately there to be taken down, and not taking it down when you can easily do it is symptomatic of a horrible and useless apathy. Its easy to assume the wall is a permanent fixture that is designed to be impregnable and any trespassing will get us shot. It may not be an easy path to get through, but standing there and looking at it out of “respect” is retarded. If you didn’t want the other person to dismantle it, you would simply have walked off rather than driving a pole into the ground and building a fortress.

So what is more strange? To accept we all have a dark side and indulge it occasionally, or to be surprised when someone does? I’m often described as a man of extremes, and its certainly not a good idea to get in my bad books. I’ve been known to pursue and run down those who’ve shown themselves to be obnoxious or behave in a distinctly tasteless way and i make no apology for the valuable public service i believe it to be. I believe in living my life to its vital full - to love those i care about with the greatest passion until the day i die, and to ruthlessly persecute and stamp out those who want to hurt me, have made themselves my enemy or don’t have my interests at heart. Wind me up and i’ll put you down. Hurt me and i’ll hurt you back 10x as bad as a warning to you and anyone else that your abuse won’t go unnoticed or tolerated. Just treat me with respect and courtesy and i’ll return the favour. If you take 10 seconds to think about how to approach me, you’ll never have to worry about it.

But the important thing to remember if and when they contemplate the dark side of me is that I’ve never hurt anyone who i believed was innocent or didn’t deserve it. Every time i’ve lashed out has been a reaction to something someone has said or done as an act of power or punishment rather than something as childish and pointless as revenge or spite. The message each time is the same and has a very specific purpose a dramatic expression of the offence a person has caused me. Leave me alone without resolving or apologising and i get worse. I’ve never physically attacked anyone or instigated a fight, but i have dealt out some appalling violence in self-defense, usually in a fit of self-righteous rage. Without a message, acting in anger is universally pointless and never makes you feel any better. Hence spite and revenge are off the menu, because as bizarre as it sounds, they are too superficial.

That inherent Jekyll/Hyde dichotomy confuses a lot of people and is also the source of my fundamental disagreement with religious and political movements that promote “peaceful” altruistic behaviour, like Buddhism and Communism. Human emotion and behaviour comprises a very wide spectrum where no one point is ever frequently by the needle point for long. Nature trumps nurture every time. Isn’t it more honest and realistic to confess and eventually accept that oscillating in that spectrum is actually more natural than trying to stay at the golden end? We all have terrible and violent thoughts, but what sets us out from genocidal maniacs is whether we live them out, and vice versa for our angelic tendencies.

I don’t feel any obligation to be at peace with people, or to make them feel better. I don’t see why i should be expected to forgive or forget what someone’s done to wrong me or anyone else i know. I don’t have an obligation to bury the hatchet or make the peace. That doesn’t make me “evil”, it means i have a very real, genuine and realistic appreciation for my innate human capacity to hate as well as love, rather than pretend i’m some nicey-nicey person who always tries to keep everyone on side because life is short. Homo Sapiens isn’t designed as a diplomat, and to be honest isn’t great at it even when it tries. I don’t owe you anything and i don’t have to grant you forgiveness. In a lot of cases, peace is made out of cowardice and apathy. My sanity is more important than your feelings, and you take the consequences of your actions. If you offend me, expect a nasty reaction you won’t like, and don’t expect any mercy.

Anger is ultimately a neutral emotion, and can be expressed positively negatively. Its a natural reaction to perceived injustice and provides the necessary engage to effect a change, whatever that change may be. We can be magnanimous, dignified or self-righteous, but natural law and mother nature have their ways that have evolved over millennia. Ghandi may have preached that an eye for eye makes the whole world go blind, but that’s assuming we’re all meant to live side by side in the corn fields, hugging away and living in an equal playing field. I’d argue that’s empty hyperbole because this planet is based on survival of the fittest, as barbaric as it may be, and as much as i’d love to live in a paradise of higher spirituality. Tooth for tooth, blood for blood. You can make a million moral comments about fear and control, but no-one can argue they aren’t effective. If they do, its probably because they lost out.

Whether we like it or not, the success of the few is dependent on the relative failure of the many. There is plenty to go round for everyone, but its not in infinite supply. Knowing that and thinking that may make me a devil, but at least i have the option to wear an angel’s face when i say it. Comedy and tragedy come together as a package with their respective theatrical masks on the world’s daily stage. My fundamental point is that we are both.

Theoden: So much death. What can men do against such reckless hate?
Aragorn: Ride out with me. Ride out and meet them.

Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers (Screenplay)

10
Jul

get your apologies in now

By Alex Cameron 1 Comment
Categories: Misc and Rants

There’s a blog on the way entitled “My shitlist: i fucking hate you” going up soon, and you may just be on it. Just to be sure, it would be best to say sorry for any potential transgressions, direct or indirect, in advance before i slag you off in public.

And i’m not sorry for it. I intend to offend a lot of people this week. Why? Have i gone batshit insane? Has the arrogance gone too far? Well, firstly its because they deserve it, secondly its summer, thirdly i feel like it and simply because i can. A little honesty works wonders for the soul and cheers up a boring day. Watch out cunts, you’re name is going up and i’m going to tell you exactly what i think of you.

Until then, enjoy the same abuse on the gloriously offensive Encyclopedia Dramatica.

10
Jul

the black arts: making life’s chaos yours

By Alex Cameron 0 Comments
Categories: Black Arts, Business, Jedi Skills, Life, Romance and Wisdom

Winning the psychological war in any competition

  • Get the home field advantage whenever possible.
  • Have others watch you when you feel you are more competent than your opponent. When you are less confident, try to compete without an audience.
  • To enhance your performance, anchor your successes so you will be able to go into your ideal state at will.
  • Never act out of fear, focus on the objective, not on yourself.
  • Mentally rehearse your performance and desired outcome.
  • Always have a backup plan. If your tactics are not working, make sure that you can easily switch to a new game plan.
  • Do the unexpected and give no warning. By acting without a pattern you throw your opponent off balance.

The no1 mistake people make in life

  • When things are going your way - when you’re in the pattern of success - it makes sense to put more on the line and slightly increase your risk. And when you’re going strong, you decide when to stop; don’t be forced into early retirement. But when things are going against you, stop and regroup.
  • Never do anything out of fear, if you can avoid it. Fear clouds your thinking and places your focus on the negative outcome. If you need to win then you will lose because you will be focused on what is at stake and not on the objective. Detach yourself from the objective and get in the zone before you take action.

Get your phone call returned

  • Leave a message that in some way shows your appreciation, but isn’t clear as to what its about. Human beings have an inherent curiosity, and by not making your message clear, it forces the person you’re trying to reach to clarify what it’s about.

Have anyone forgive you

  • If your explanation is due to circumstances beyond your control it is received more favourably than an excuse that mentions only reasons that you had control over.
  • If the situation was not beyond your control - meaning that it was completely your own doing - then make sure that you take full and complete responsibility for your actions.
  • Your apology should be sincere and specific.
  • Let the person know that you are prepared to face and accept any consequences for your actions. and that your fate is in their hands. You must restore their sense of power.
  • Demonstrate how the set of circumstances that led to your behaviour can never occur again in the future.
  • If fear was part of your motivation, be sure to explain exactly how your actions were rooted in this fear.
  • Show that your actions did not produce any of the anticipated gain or benefits.

The best way to break bad news

  • Avoid words that have a harsh, negative connotation or stigma. Language is the basis of thought and thought is the extension of emotion. Therefore, you can substantially decrease a person’s reaction to a situation by choosing the right words.
  • Present the situation when possible (or aspects of it) as temporary, isolated and insignificant.
  • Use the laws of Contrast and Comparison but illustrating how it could have been worse than it actually turned out.

Getting your stuff back, without an argument

  • Simply ask for it, being sure to include a reason as to why you need it back now.
  • Tell them that you think of them as the kind of person who always tries to do the right thing.
  • Appeal to their sense of dignity. Tell them that a few people that you both know told you that you would never get it back.
  • Tell them that you’re going to have to tell others so they won’t lose anything to them as you did.
  • Remember too that people do favours for those they like. And yes, some consider giving you back what’s owed to you as a favour.

Saying “no” without causing offence

  • When you turn down the favour (that’s being asked of you), ask for a favour from that person right after you say no to their request. By asking a favour of them that they can’t come through on, you’ve in effect canceled your debt as soon as they decline your request.
  • When you turn down their request, and before you ask them to do something for you, use the word “because” in your request. The word “because” triggers an unconscious acceptance that a valid explanation will follow.

Turning a rude/obnoxious shitbag into your best friend

  • Firstly make sure that your attitude is not the problem. If you expect someone to dislike you, you will likely interpret their actions through this warped perspective.
  • Tell a 3rd party that you genuinely like, admire, and/or respect this person. This will engage the Law of Reciprocal Affection.
  • By showing an interest in them you will get them to like you faster than if you spent all day trying to get them interested in you.
  • Talk about those things you share and have in common - ideas, values, thoughts, etc.
  • They like you based on how you make them feel about themselves. You can be the greatest person in the world, but they will dislike you if you make them feel unimportant and insignificant.

Killing a rumour about you

  • If you know who is responsible for the rumours, go to them and let them know that you are aware of who they are and what they are doing.
  • You want to humanise yourself. Let them know that there is a real person behind the rumours.
  • Instead of trying to deny, defend or minimise the rumour, which can make you appear more guilty, simply spread a more outrageous rumour that overshadows that one, but incorporates it as well.

Putting a wall in front of verbal abuse

  • Resist your initial inclination to get defensive. If its their problem, don’t make it yours! The psychological dynamics change dramatically as soon as you use the word “I” or “me”. Then it becomes something between you and them.
  • If you are worried for your physical safety then acknowledge their “authority and power” to diffuse their anger. Do this by becoming more upset at yourself than they are at you.

Getting anyone to open up to you

  • When you get a vague answer, ask a more specific question that is related to their answer. If you ask a general follow-up question you will only get another general response.
  • If the person is unsure of how to answer, ask them instead to tell you how they feel about an aspect of the situation, instead of the entire situation itself.
  • Ask them if there might have been any unconscious motivations at work. This alleviates the element of guilt as it does not imply that there was intent.

Dealing with complaints quickly and easily

  • Say nothing. Just listen. Paraphrase what they’ve just said. Use “buildup” phrases to reinforce their ego and sense of importance. Ask them what they would like you to do.
  • While doing the above, establish rapport to help them to feel more at ease and comfortable with you.

Neutralising jealousy fits

  • A person feels threatened only in areas they consider the basis for their identity. Building up their self-esteem is not the answer. You must downplay the trait that they feel that they lack and that others possess. Their jealousy is really envy of what other people have that they don’t.
  • If you are dealing with a person who insanely jealous of everyone and everything, they perceive an imbalance in the relationship whereby you are more valuable than they are, which makes them believe its just a matter of time before you figure this out for yourself. This is why you almost never see a relationship where both people are insanely jealous of the other. Therefore, if you become openly jealous about everything that they do, their perspective should shift dramatically.

Getting the best advice from anyone

  • Listen with an open mind, not just to confirm what you want to hear.
  • Don’t ask advice from someone who may jealous or envious of you or your ideas.
  • Don’t ask advice from anyone who has a stake in the outcome - emotional, financial or otherwise.
  • Get feedback from a cross section of people. The more opinions you get the greater the perspective you will have.

Giving appallingly harsh criticism without upsetting someone

  • The best time to criticise is when you are removed from the event.
  • Put time between the event and your critique.
  • Tell the person that you are mentioning this because you care.
  • Always criticise in private.
  • Preface your criticism with a compliment.
  • Criticise the act, not the person.
  • Share some of the responsibility if you can.
  • Offer the solution.
  • Let them know that they are not alone.

Extracting confessions and becoming a confidant

  • Tell them a secret or something personal that is going on in your life. When someone tells us something about themselves, not only do we feel psychologically closer but we feel a need to reciprocate by sharing something personal with them.
  • Ask them their views on something general. When they do tell you, do not argue or debate the merit of their beliefs. If you “coincidentally” share the same views this will significantly increase your psychological bond.
  • By having the person focus on their emotions, you unconsciously force them to seek support from you, to open up, and to share. To apply this, have the person focus on how they feel about the situation, not on the situation itself.
  • If appropriate, offer a benefit for telling you. Letting them get it off their chest is okay but not always effective.
  • Fear of what you think of them is often an obstacle. Overcome this by letting them know you are not judgemental and that we all do things that we’re not proud of.

Handling tough questions and winning the argument

  • Never, ever get defensive. The minute you try to defend yourself, you’ve lost.
  • Don’t automatically accept the person’s premise or you may be starting at a disadvantage. Instead gain leverage ask them to explain why they think the way they do.
  • Don’t be goaded into responding to a vague statement. You can’t win. Change the question, reduce it to specifics, and then answer.
  • If you’re really at a loss, use hypnotic conversation-stopping (trance inducing) questions to gain some time to think and strategise.
09
Jul

10 politically incorrect truths

By Alex Cameron 0 Comments
Categories: Business, Life and Romance

“Why most suicide bombers are Muslim, beautiful people have more daughters, humans are naturally polygamous, sexual harassment isn’t sexist, and blonds are more attractive. ”

  1. Men like blond bombshells (and women want to look like them)
  2. Humans are naturally polygamous
  3. Most women benefit from polygyny, while most men benefit from monogamy
  4. Most suicide bombers are Muslim
  5. Having sons reduces the likelihood of divorce
  6. Beautiful people have more daughters
  7. What Bill Gates and Paul McCartney have in common with criminals
  8. The midlife crisis is a myth—sort of
  9. It’s natural for politicians to risk everything for an affair (but only if they’re male)
  10.  Men sexually harass women because they are not sexist

Read more: “Psychology Today: Ten Politically Incorrect Truths About Human Nature”
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20070622-000002.xml

07
Jul

girls: time you learned the class system

By Alex Cameron 0 Comments
Categories: Life, Rants and Romance

As harsh as it may sound, most women are fickle hypocrites. Ask and they’ll tell you that they don’t even understand themselves. They claim the moral high ground and will spend hours explaining how they are so hard done by and wish for a better life with a man who will treat them properly.

Well girls, the honest truth is that if you got your act together, you’d gain the trust and affection of a man like that and would get treated properly. What most girls don’t understand is that the way they behave alienates guys and they create their own isolation.

You get cheated on because you’re annoying, boring, arrogant, game-playing or have just got fat - i.e. you’re not captivating enough. You don’t get romance because you expect too much and give very little in return. You don’t get cuddled because you’re always attention-seeking or whinging about your problems 24hrs a day. You don’t get respect because you don’t respect our male boundaries. You don’t get adventure because you’re so obsessed with creature comforts and the way you look. You don’t get told our personal stuff because of the way you gossip with your friends and complain we don’t listen to you. We don’t make an effort because you complain whether we do or not.

Getting the picture?

Women are never happy or satisfied, and are in their element when they have something to complain about that will gain them some attention or sympathy. You try and try, but nothing ever puts them at peace. Us chaps eventually just give up trying to please you, forget bothering to be thoughtful, ignore the whinging and do whatever we want regardless as its far simpler. Its usually a matter of making sure you pick the option that will get you in the least shit. No matter what happens, you’ll be in the shit anyway, so its easiest to work out what’s the least offensive thing anf go with that. Girls expect the earth but give disproportionately little in return. No, letting him go out for a drunken night with friends is not “giving”. Neither is being understanding. Giving is about going out of your way, not sacrificing yourself.

In order to understand this a little better, us gents have a basic class system to categorise you. Its very unlikely you’ve been told about it.

Class A (1% of the population)
If you meet one, you marry them straight away. Smart, sassy, funny, independent, spiritual, beautiful, sexy, driven, compassionate, strong, lively, interesting, loyal, understanding, passionate, different, genuine and everything they or other people claim they are.

Class B (4%)
Has potential to be Class A, and actively working on it. Worth spending time with.

Class C (85%)
The vast majority of girls. Average, mediocre, the bystander type. Content to be nothing more than what they were born. Settles for their lot, doesn’t stick their neck out and is like everyone else. Can’t understand men, obsessed with their friends and collects pictures of themselves on nights out drinking. Prone to bouts of being psychotic.

Class D (10%)
No hope at all, and beyond help. Small town trash. The type of girl that spits on the street, believes reading/thinking etc is for nerds, and typically is a chronic attention-seeker and/or compulsive liar, closed-minded and just plain obnoxious. Human vermin.

Its perfectly possible to move between any of these. Some girls evolve to be better, some devolve to get a lot of worse. It can be just over a specific period in time, or a more permanent fixture. I’ve personally known a B to crash to D within a year, and it was sad to watch. But on the other side of the coin, i’ve also seen a C go straight to A in less than 6 months. Most advertise themselves as class A, when they’re C. I’ve personally only known 3 As, and most of my friends are B. I won’t entertain, and can’t tolerate class D anywhere in my life.

These are just some of the type of things that earn you class C or D status.

  • Always wanting what you can’t have, and not wanting or appreciating it once you’ve got it
  • Always needing a challenge (e.g. a bastard, or someone not giving you attention like everyone else) and not appreciating what you have
  • Always needing a man to be a “catch” that will impress your friends
  • Always envying other girls for what they have, and scheming to steal it from them
  • Being obsessed with beauty, the way you look and needing to be found attractive by as many people as possible
  • Pacifying people and giving in to avoid an argument
  • Constant nagging, complaining and silently resenting people instead of communicating properly and asserting yourself
  • Hinting and being subtle instead of communicating properly (and getting angry and frustrated when he doesn’t notice or respond)
  • Having so many fucking problems
  • Not wanting to get help for any of those problems
  • Bunny-boiling obsessive or smothering behaviour
  • Being indecisive and never knowing what you want
  • Playing emotional games instead of communicating properly
  • Being wildly emotional and changing your mind/feelings by the hour/day/week
  • Constant jealousy fits, paranoia or OTT possessiveness
  • Being childish, speaking in high-pitched baby voices and treating him like a baby
  • Putting men down an/or deliberately trying to emasculate them
  • Hypocrisy - having one rule for you and another for him
  • Being dependent and making decisions based on what your girl friends think
  • Being unoriginal an/or boring in bed
  • Making out you’re little miss perfect when the way you act is utterly immoral and inconsistent
  • Always trying to change, “mould” and/or control a man
  • Loving stupid gossip mags, crap reality TV and generally not having much to say in conversation
  • Being unable to control yourself emotionally or think even remotely rationally (e.g. buying shoes)

A special note about *that* female arrogance
When you’re little girls, mummy teaches you a lot of crap, and you bring it with you into your adult life where it causes massive problems. Then you have little girls and teach them the same thing, directly or indirectly. There are 3 specific lies, and all women intrinsically believe them. Yes, you do. Don’t bother being outraged, as its about how you behave, not what you think.

Those 3 lies are:

  1. Only women truly and genuinely understand relationships, because they are women. All women are relationship gurus that understand what a relationship means, how its going, whether its good or bad and what makes it worthwhile.
  2. Women are all naturally good in bed, because they need more and take longer to be aroused than men, who are crap in bed. Oh, and of course, just because they’re women.
  3. All women naturally understand men completely, but men don’t understand them, because they’re more complex. And because they’re women.

Allow me to ring the cluephone on your behalf. I know literally thousands of people, personally and professionally. I’ve never met a girl who ever had the slightest idea about men, let alone understanding them. Most girls are frighteningly crap in bed (a lot can’t even kiss properly), and you’re all too wrapped up in yourselves, your feelings and what your friends think to be able to judge relationships. That arrogance is so painfully strong and heavily ingrained in you for you to see it yourselves, but its a real turn off and most men pick up on it and don’t bother committing to you emotionally because they really can’t be bothered to deal with your self-righteous double standards and preaching. You’ll be alarmed once you realise how many men agree with this and think the same.

07
Jul

the black arts: getting control of the situation

By Alex Cameron 0 Comments
Categories: Black Arts, Business, Jedi Skills, Life, Romance and Wisdom

Making them do it right now

  • Narrow a person’s options to avoid extensive deliberation. Fewer choices mean that they will make a decision faster and be less likely to dwell on it afterward.
  • Give a deadline for taking action. A deadline restricts freedom and increases our desire to gain what is rare and becoming scarcer. This greatly motivates us to move forward and to take immediate action.
  • Engage the Law of Consistency by first having an individual commit to a smaller request. When we take a small step in one direction we are driven to maintain a sense of consistency by agreeing to larger requests.
  • Use your words and your actions to engage the Law of Expectation.
  • Maximise the Law of Inertia by reducing what you want a person to do to simple, easy-to-follow steps to get them to begin moving in the right direction.
  • Offer any small additional benefit for taking action now. This will significantly increase your chances of getting compliance.
  • Keep in mind that the number one psychological rule that determines if someone will do something for you or even with you is that they must, to some extent, like you, and preferably, trust you.

Making sure your advice is taken

  • 90% of the decisions we make are based on emotion. Then we use logic to justify our actions. You must arouse emotions in your attempt to persuade.
  • Offer a specific game plan wth a clear-cut course of action for proceeding.
  • Add this to how your idea will prevent negative or unpleasant consequences. This is more effective than explaining what someone will gain by listening to you.
  • If true, remind them how they are in some the first one who gave you the idea.
  • Let them know too that this new way of thinking is really consistent with who they are. Relate the thin
  • gs they’ve done that are consistent with this current belief or action.
  • Don’t come across as a “know-it-all” and you’ll be perceived as more credible and sincere in this situation.
  • Remember that enthusiasm is contagious. If you’re not excited about the idea, they will not be excited about it either.

Getting a commitment to you followed through

  • When you initially ask for the favour, hit as many of these 5 points as you can:
    • Get them to say it;
    • Get a specific time frame;
    • Develop a sense of obligation
    • Engage their conscience;
    • Have them tell you how things will unfold.
  • Then end the conversation with a firm verbal confirmation and simple phrase such as “So i’ll see you next Saturday, right?”
  • Finally, as the day approaches let them them know that you appreciate that they’re someone who really follows through and/or that you are glad that they know the true value of friendship/responsibility/loyalty - whichever best applies.

Changing a stubborn person’s mind

  • Begin with the Crowbar Test (Telling them you want them to agree to what you ask, but only if you can achieve some some highly difficult and amazing task) to determine just how closed-minded they really are.
  • Because human beings have a strong need for consistency have them agree to a similar idea or a way of thinking that will negate their own objections later.
  • Restrict in some way their ability to do what you want them to and give them the opportunity to provide the solution.
  • A person’s emotional state is directly related to their physical state. Change easily the one thing that you can - their physiology.
  • They will be reluctant to change their mind without any new information because they will think of themselves as inconsistent. Give additional information before you ask them again to reconsider.
  • Let them know that you have been recently influenced by their ideas. If someone is successful in persuading another person they normally reciprocate by changing their attitudes about something else in response to a persuasive appeal from that person.
  • Adopt a 2-sided argument to increase your credibility, being sure to present the evidence to support your position first.
  • If possible, show them how they are in some way responsible for the idea in the first place.
  • If the idea goes against their value system, change the parameters of the request, making the behaviour acceptable.

Asking for a favour

  • If you need something done in the near future, ask when they are not preoccupied with something else. If it is for something that does not need to be done right away, ask for the favour as soon as possible, farthest away from the time that they will have to do it.
  • Engage the Law of Reciprocity by doing something for them. Your “gift” can take the form f your time, your attention, or even a small gesture or compliment.
  • Avoid apathy by increasing personal responsibility. This is done by letting them know that you have no-one else to turn to.
  • Your request should include 3 components: a) specifically what you want, b) how they will in some way feel good about doing you the favour, and c) the relative ease with which they can accomplish the task.
  • If your situation is due to your incompetence, you will generate apathy, not sympathy. Focus on any elements of your predicament that were not your own doing.
  • Re-shape their self-concept to include the idea that helping you is something that is consistent with who they are.
  • Knowing others “did the right thing” invokes an unconscious desire to do the same. Have them witness or simply tell them about those who have helped in similar situations.
  • Studies conclude that if they feel threatened by your success you will not get their cooperation. Explain the situation as two of you working towards a common objective where you both win.
  • Most important is to keep asking. Many times people just say no because its easy and they’re used to it. Persistence in asking - in accordance with these laws - will give you every opportunity to gain cooperation.
  • Finally, once they agree to help, its important that they follow through.

Psychological secrets of leadership

  • Leaders win the trust and support of the people through their identification with them. Do not set yourself apart from the crowd, but remain one of the people in the crowd.
  • Humility is one of the most powerful character traits for effective leadership. A strong ego creates a barrier between the leader and the people.
  • Your vision must be clear, simple and organised. Nobody lies or is overly inclined to follow complex and disorganised strategies.
  • Don’t confuse passion with authority. Overly passionate leaders are believable but few people want to follow them.
  • Never yell or publicly chastise anybody. This will cause you to lose respect.
  • Instant generate the often-elusive and ever-important quality of charisma by making others feel important and special. People follow those who make them feel good about themselves.
  • Understand the mechanics of leadership and when it is best to ask for input and when it is best to dictate.

Making anything understandable

  • Give an overview before going into the details. This puts new information into an understandable context.
  • Use the Law of Expectation. Simply stating that you expect the information will be understood quickly and easily greatly increases comprehension and retention.

Getting your way when you’re in the minority

  • You and.or members of your group must be consistent in the opposition to majority opinions. Do not show signs of waffling.
  • Avoid appearing rigid and dogmatic. In light of new information, a minority that holds to the same position regardless of the situation is not as effective as one that demonstrates a degree of flexibility.
  • Divide and conquer. Many studies conclusively prove that when we have an ally we are much more likely to stick to our guns.
  • When you disagree with the majority you are disliked, hence making it difficult to sway them.
  • Don’t ask someone to change their mind without introducing additional information.
  • When you’ve got nothing, enact the Law of Social Proof by finding other people, outside your group, who share your view.

Getting any group of people to get along

  • Numerous studies conclude that division among people dissolves when there is an opposing outside threat.
  • Make sure your group identifies itself with an image that is consistent with a spirit of cooperation, not competition. The name given to your group or clique greatly influences levels of cooperation.
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