Archive for August 19th, 2007

19
Aug

know your enemy’s attack vector

By Alex Cameron 0 Comments
Categories: Black Arts, Business, Jedi Skills, Life, Romance and Wisdom
“The Devil is easy to identify. He appears when you’re terribly tired and makes a very reasonable request which you know you shouldn’t grant.”

Fiorello La Guardia, former mayor of New York City

Life isn’t meant to be easy. Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to bring any child up thinking that they should expect a smooth ride? Once you accept life is meant to be hard, everything gets a lot easier. When you think about it, the notion of expecting anything and everything to be easy is patently absurd and utterly ridiculous. Its also incredibly damaging in some cases. Sheltering someone can be tantamount to murder by compassion, aka killing with kindness.

You can never please everyone. In fact the likelihood is that almost anything you do is likely to piss someone off. Its stupid, naive, a total waste of time and energy, not to mention childish, to go around trying to keep everyone happy. You’ll collapse before you get 30% of the way through. There are always vested interests and people who don’t want to see you succeed in even the smallest ventures, for so many different reasons. The silly thing is our shock and surprise when we finally clock it. Its easier to accept how disruptive you putting your head over the edge is going to be and doing it anyway, regardless of how many get put out of joint because of it. In short, fuck them. Fuck everyone.

It seems the very mention of my name is disruptive. I can’t go near a girl without a hundred other guys rushing straight in afterwards or having the ex turn up and go mental. People read this website, see the confidence shining out of it and are automatically unsettled. I’m different to the norm, and that makes a lot of people very uncomfortable as they don’t quite know how to take it. It could be incredibly threatening, or just something they don’t understand. The other side of that coin is how many girls email me thinking i have the answer to their problems or can fix them somehow.

I’ll never forget the day when the importance of vested interests was impressed on me. It was a cold bitter day in Mayfair, which suited the whole atmosphere of the few months i’d been living in. I was having coffee with a mentor of mine who was punching into me for being so wet behind the ears, and naturally i thought i knew it all. He asked me who i was pissing off with what i was doing, and who would try to stop me succeeding. I drew back slightly as i hadn’t thought about - the idea of someone going out of their way to fuck up what i was on course for hasn’t entered my mind, and up until that point i had never thought i was particularly innocent.

Understanding the whys and hows of vested interests is important. In many cases, its in someone’s self-interest to deliberately keep you weak or ignorant. When all the men dating the girls around you are bastards, ambitionless losers and/or allegedly crap in bed, you don’t educate or help them. The more of them there are around, the more special and unique you seem. Helping them to be better is effectively shitting on your own doorstep and poisoning your own lunch when you could be using it to your own advantage. Bullying people and keeping them down is a very convenient way of putting yourself up in the limelight. Your success can be dependent on the failure of everyone else, as so much in this life is determined by perception.

Knowing there are people out there who don’t want you to succeed, or who will actively seek to stop you from succeeding is a hard pill to swallow. But not swallowing it is a lot more dangerous. They are there, and you have enemies whether you like it or not. Often they are those who are closest to you or the people you call your friends. You can’t fight a battle or resist nefarious scheming when it can’t be seen or doesn’t appear to exist. Jealousy, envy, resentment or just plain malice stalk you looking for an opportunity to drive the knife in when you are at your weakest. Your success highlights their failures and casts you in the limelight instead of them.

A vector, in biological terms, is a an organism that carries a disease but is not affected or infected by it. It simply acts to transport the source of the illness with immunity to it. The malarial parasite is carried by female Anopheles mosquitoes but the insects themselves do not suffer malaria. An attack vector is a way to attack someone, a method, strategy, back door or angle that a payload of hurt or suffering can be delivered through. In human terms, that vector tends to be a person, but it can be a number of others things.

Sun Tzu’s advice for aspiring generals is to both know thy enemy and know thyself, as you will then be successful in 100 battles. The question you have to ask is where exactly is your weakest point, and if there were one thing an enemy of yours could attack. where would it hurt the most? There you will find the target for an attack vector. The next thing to do is work out who or what the vector could be. In my case, the answer is pretty obvious. She’s female, batshit insane and lives in Scunthorpe. If you want to fuck me up, you would use her to do it. This isn’t a case of knowing your strengths and weaknesses, as that is a passive cause and DIY repair job. Knowing your attack points is understanding your death triggers.

Once you see where you are weakest and identify the continuous stream of attack vectors, then you are supreme. Every day a new one appears, so it is perpetual process that can be very hard. Your words will be used against you, your identity and integrity will be attacked, and this world is full of bitter inferiority-complexed impotent failures who would like nothing more than to pull you down into the pit they stew in to keep them company. Love has no place here when it comes to survival, only ruthlessness. Human parasites and spiritual vampires roam around looking for others to feed off just to satiate their longing for recognition and validation. And if they can’t generate it themselves, they will suck it out of the people who are most visible.

I go out to anger those people now. For me, the backlash leveled at me is a quasi-barometer of how successful i am. The more they whinge, the more vocal they get, the more they fear me and the more resistance i encounter is a great measure of just how well think i’m doing. I curse them with utter contempt simply as armchair critics are hilariously narcissistic and have nothing to show for themselves apart from their sewer mouths, slimy dispositions and weakened minds. You don’t give up just because the nasty man told you he didn’t like it. As Oscar Wilde once said so wisely, a critic is someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

I know my enemies, but i can’t see all of them as much as i try and as much as friends try to point them out to me, only to suffer my righteous indignation. Sometimes the scheming around me gets so bad i eventually strike out and do my best to teach the offending parties exactly why they shouldn’t try to out-flank or strip me of what i am. One notorious example was earlier in the year, when one girl was doing her best to bring me to my knees, and another was taking advantage of the situation to have me to herself. They both learned very painfully, and suffered for it. One got thrown out of my life very unceremoniously to her surprise, and the other got used and again thrown out.

The moral of the story is to never assume i’m weaker just because my heart’s in pieces. I came out on top as i recognised what they were doing and set them on each other instead of me. I will never apologise for being fiercesome in that regard - if you want to inflict emotional violence and manipulative schemes, i will act. I’ve bankrupted people, humiliated them in public, torn them to pieces emotionally and caused abject chaos more times than i care to remember simply to burn a path to my own salvation past the carnage. I learned to defend myself from 20 years of continuous argument and destructive hell in the place that was supposed to be my home. You don’t have the same training or resilience, neither does anyone else you know.

The vector is almost always something that is either unaware or complicit in someone’s game or attack, but rarely both. The payload is a message of some kind that they want to adsorb, or evidence they want you to see to back up their case. It’s designed to have an effect and de-rail you for their own reasons. Most frequently it attacks your heart - that you’re not good enough, it won’t work, they don’t care etc. The vector approach is so visceral and deadly as they use the middleman carrier that you love and trust to deliver the message, when whereas if it came from them directly your guard and emotional armour would be on to deflect it. Not only do you have to be on guard against your enemies, but your friends and loved ones. The devastation is far worse when its the latter.

One technique i teach those i care about in the art of defending themselves is learning to recognise someone’s internal dialogue when they are insulting you, and it earned me the nickname “One Killer” in college due to me being able to effectively silence anyone in one sentence. The secret is absurdly simple. When someone is furious, they are deeply vulnerable as they are being ruled by uncontrollable emotions so can’t think properly. Because they only have themselves as a reference point for the rest of the world, when they insult you they throw the words at you that would hurt them the most. As soon as you hear what that worst thing is, they’ve betrayed their weakness - the thing that would hurt them the most to hear.

Let’s say that some obnoxious moron is shouting abuse at you during a rather vicious argument, and in their anger they call you “ugly” and denigrate your looks as much as they can, despite it being very little to do with what you’re arguing about. You know from that point on that they going out of their way to hurt you in spite. Unfortunately for them, they’ve just told you what hurts the most - criticism of the way they look. Throw it straight back to them 10x harder with painful details, and they’re fucked. Watch for this, and you’ll win every time. Just take a twist of their insult and make it more damaging. Use your enemies and profit from your mistakes.

Wisdom brings with it the end of innocence, and the price of freedom, as they say, is eternal vigilance - vigilance against those threatening you and stealing from you, and from people ahead of you doing their best to erect barriers for you to crash into and even just simply making it impossible to get what you want. Only the naive fall alongside the path as they refuse to accept the dark side of their own nature, and the rest of the human race’s nature. If you want to win, you have to learn to fight and be dispassionate enough that you can be ruthless when you need to be, against those who deserve it because they’ve behaved themselves into something they can’t talk their way out of. Anyone who has to prove something doesn’t believe it themselves. Anyone who is bluffing will over-compensate. That is how you spot lies and a message that is not reflecting the truth.

Dealing with your enemies and their vectors is not easy, as the whole process is malignant and knotted. In the case of those whose tactics are blunt and obvious (e.g. jealousy), you must dismantle their apparatus by separating the sender from the carrier. In cases where the emotional violence is more subtle, you have to lay a trap with compelling bait, draw them out into the light and cast out the demon by identifying it for what it is, humiliating it in the process with the same degree of malevolence that was thrown at you. After that, its time to again take away the scaffolding that gives them the route and foothold to hurt you. Fighting fire with fire rarely works.

Vectors are used to deliver your enemy’s message, and meant to leave you with the burning anger of having being wronged. They are a sick and deadly tactic invoked by adult children who know no better, have very little empathy with others and have never forgiven those who first used them against them in the same way. And they are very, very effective. The game deals marked cards from stacked decks, hands us loaded dice, and then urges us to gamble. Indulging in an evil way of life opens us up to an inner anarchy which (like all anarchies) eventually turns in on itself - to crave authoritarian rule from the one who most wants that kind of absolute power.

“Those who are their own god will end up consigning themselves to the Hell they built for their enemies.”

Anonymous

19
Aug

seinfieldian chains & not-todo lists

By Alex Cameron 0 Comments
Categories: Black Arts, Business and Jedi Skills

I recently got the fairly well-deserved nickname “the machine”. If you looked at the output on this blog, you’d be forgiven for thinking i don’t have much else to do. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you look here, you’ll see what 40% of my time is taken up with, before any of this. Like Simon and Marcel, i’m a total productivity junkie. I can’t be too efficient. I can feel it lately too - its taking me less and less time to produce results.

Every so often, a set of ideas will bubble to the surface that take you away from the box you live in and help you to think in a more lateral way.

On Lifehacker, Brian Isaac explains the productivity advice he got from Jerry Seinfield.

He said the way to be a better comic was to create better jokes and the way to create better jokes was to write every day. But his advice was better than that. He had a gem of a leverage technique he used on himself and you can use it to motivate yourself - even when you don’t feel like it. He then revealed a unique calendar system he was using pressure himself to write. Here’s how it worked.

He told me to get a big wall calendar that has a whole year on one page and hang it on a prominent wall. The next step was to get a big red magic marker. He said for each day that I do my task of writing, I get to put a big red X over that day. “After a few days you’ll have a chain. Just keep at it and the chain will grow longer every day. You’ll like seeing that chain, especially when you get a few weeks under your belt. Your only job next is to not break the chain.”

“Don’t break the chain.” He said again for emphasis.

Over the years I’ve used his technique in many different areas. I’ve used it for exercise, to learn programming, to learn network administration, to build successful websites and build successful businesses. It works because it isn’t the one-shot pushes that get us where we want to go, it is the consistent daily action that builds extraordinary outcomes. You may have heard “inch by inch anything’s a cinch.” Inch by inch does work if you can move an inch every day.

Daily action builds habits. It gives you practice and will make you an expert in a short time. If you don’t break the chain, you’ll start to spot opportunities you otherwise wouldn’t. Small improvements accumulate into large improvements rapidly because daily action provides “compounding interest.”

—————————————————————————————

The 2nd brilliantly simple concept is similar to the someday/maybe list - the “not todo” list, which is, as the name suggests, the total opposite of a todo list.  “Not-to-do” lists can be just as effective—often more so—than to-do lists for upgrading performance. The reason is simple: what you don’t do determines what you can do.

Tim Ferriss from Web Worker Daily suggests nine stressful and common habits that entrepreneurs and office workers should strive to eliminate. The idea is to focus on one or two at a time, just as you would with high-priority to-do items.

  1. Do not answer unrecognized phone calls
  2. Do not e-mail first thing in the morning or last thing at night
  3. Do not agree to meetings or calls with no clear agenda or end time
  4. Do not let people ramble—forget “how’s it going?” and embrace “what’s up?”
  5. Do not check e-mail constantly—“batch” and check at set times only
  6. Do not over-communicate with low-profit, high-maintenance customers
  7. Do not work more to fix overwhelm—prioritize
  8. Do not carry a cellphone or Crackberry 24/7, seven days a week—make evenings and/or Saturdays digital leash-free.
  9. Do not expect work to fill a void that non-work relationships and activities should

And as he rightly says,  “it’s hip to focus on getting things done, but it’s only possible once we remove the constant static and distraction. If you have trouble deciding what to do, just focus on not doing to re-focus. Different means, same end. Embrace the anti-Nike: Just don’t do it.”

19
Aug

and you may remain unforgiven

By Alex Cameron 0 Comments
Categories: Life, Rants and Wisdom

I struggle with forgiveness. Its about the hardest thing you can ever do. I don’t think i’ve ever truly forgiven anyone, and i’m no good at it. I’ve certainly tried, but they just did something else afterwards that meant they had to be forgiven again, which kind of made it pointless in the first place. I’m told forgiving is a continual process that can be life-long.

They tell me forgiveness is like a bank chasing a debtor that can’t pay his/her bill. If you go overdrawn on your credit card or loan, you are sent reminder letters that gradually get more formal as time goes on. Eventually the time comes when you need to be taken to court to collect what you owe. Then the bailiffs arrive at your door and impound your possessions so they can be sold to pay your debt. If you have nothing, then you are made bankrupt. But the debt still remains unpaid, regardless of what you have or don’t have. There’s no point to chasing someone who can’t pay their debt, so the bank effectively writes off the amount as irretrievable because its more expensive to pursue than to suffer the financial loss.

And so, forgiveness in life apparently works the same way, as we can’t take back what we have said or done in the past. An apology goes a long way, but ultimately the debt cannot be repaid. Forgiving the person is writing off their debt and not chasing them anymore for it as its futile, pointless and draining to keep pushing away at something that cannot be realised and costs more than it will repay. The act of forgiving is consciously choosing to abandon the exhausting debt-chasing and striking off what’s owed.

The problem i have with forgiveness is that it’s ongoing, and requires endless effort. Some people just don’t stop racking up debt after debt, and you are forced to keep writing it off to stay sane, even when you didn’t lend to them in the first place. They do it again. And again. Biblically speaking, the answer to the question of how many times you should forgive is “unlimited”, or 70 times 7. So that’s the word from High Command, and i have to do it. More importantly, i need to be willing to do it. Judgment comes from not doing what you are asked to do more than what you have actually done.

Being angry at having been hurt or wrong is not wrong or unhealthy, it is normal. Resentment is bad for you physically and emotionally, and we have to let things go. But i smoulder inside, which you could consider emotional immaturity in some ways. I am forgiven by others, and i’m not perfect myself, so i should forgive. Why do we need to let things go exactly? Its not as if the bank would let me off if i decided not to pay back my £100,000 loan. I should be asked for forgiveness, not offer it freely. Well, at least that’s the belief inside me, right or wrong.

You know what i want? The thing that would satiate my righteous fury and the burning anger of being wronged?

STARTING WITH A FUCKING APOLOGY.

Yep, that’s right. Do that, and you might just be forgiven. How about a little atonement before you are unanimously let off the hook, maybe as a simple courtesy? I want blood spilled and the debt paid back. I can’t help that, as its the way it makes me feel. How about making it up to me? How about showing me the same dignity and respect i would show you, instead of drowning in your own self-pity and defiant fury? That’s the only way to app me from being so offended. But don’t think it gives you any power over me, as hating you doesn’t take any concsious effort or drain me at all. I’m happy to see you rot.

I have no idea how people forgive those who murdered their children or sinned against them so appallingly that the rest of the world thinks they never deserve redemption. I don’t even know how to forgive. But naturally, i looked it up, and got kindly got bought a small book on the subject to help me along.

OK so this is what you are meant to do.

“The first step towards forgiveness is recognise the hurt and be honest with yourself about your feelings.”

Anger can be expressed by going on the attack or being deliberately silent and withdrawn. The hurt done to you can often make your confidence and self-worth plummet. Recognising what you are feeling is more difficult than it sounds.

“The second step in the process of forgiveness is to get a clear view of what really happened.”

You may discover that your initial feelings were an overreaction to the situation, or the standards and expectations were too high. You can either laugh it off as comic or blame somebody. The memories of nnforgiven situations and the feelings associated with them can exacerbate the problem.

“Now that you have a clear understanding of what’s happened and how you feel about it, the next stage is to try and understand the other person’s point of view.”

When you understand, the problem may evaporate. When we blame someone’s actions we treat them as a mature person who is responsible for their actions, right or wrong. It is here that we learn of all that needs to be excused and what it is that needs to be blamed.

Most of us learn how to forgive as children. We learn with with parents and guardians we deeply need. It is the experience of being loved and forgiven that helps us to grow and become loveable people. Buy maybe for some reason you learned that lesson badly in childhood. You do not feel as if love can safely overcome hurt. When something terrible happens and we feel the desire for hate and revenge, all our faith and values are challenged.

Surely there are times when it is wrong to forgive? You may feel it is one thing to forgive injury to yourself but quite different when the event caused hurt to others. What would happen to justice if we all forgave? What happens when an apology is a sarcastic gesture of spite to convey the anger we feel?

Forgiveness is:

  • Granting free pardon for a hurt;
  • Giving up all claim for compensation;
  • Ceasing to feel resentment.

Repentance, which can be as hard as forgiveness, is

  • Accepting a pardon for a hurt;
  • Making any appropriate restitution;
  • Ceasing to feel guilt and shame.

Ahaa, so its a bit like a handshake. I forgive, you repent.

“What if the guilty party doesn’t say ‘I’m sorry’? Can forgiveness work if it is one-sided?”

We may find that we cannot be at peace with someone, but even in war we can love, (wtf?) which means refusing to let ourselves nurse thoughts of hatred. Love can be energetic with moral indignation. Anger is useful when it rescues others or sets us back on our feet, but once it becomes triumphant or places us above others, it is dangerous. As soon as it becomes redundant, unable to change anything for the good, we need to let it go.

Forgiving is not sorting out the past and laying it to rest, it is about re-affirming trust and is a generosity that should be free. It does not mean returning to where you were or letting someone off the hook. Real forgiveness means giving up all claim to compensation. But genuine repentance involves some real attempt to put matters right and it is right for the repenting person to make amends.

Forgiveness is false if it leaves either person feeling morally superior.

One of the most incredible stories i read a few years back is one of the only tales that can move me close to tears - the brutal murder of Sister Maria Laura Mainetti on the 7th June 2000 in the small Italian town of Chiavenna by a bunch of 16 year old goth girls, committed out of “boredom”, and blamed on their infatuation with Marilyn Manson. As they held her down and stabbed her for the 19th time so she finally lost the ability to breathe from choking on her own blood, she looked her murderers in the face and whispered her last words as they hacked at her.

“I forgive you”.

I wish i had 0.01% of her strength and compassion.

19
Aug

walking deeper into eden

By Alex Cameron 0 Comments
Categories: Life, Romance and Wisdom

Whenever i can, i put everything down and take a walk in the woods to regain my sanity in the peace of nature. I never realised the wonderful significance of this until recently, as its just taken for granted that a little greenery and a breeze helps to clear your head. Where is that a man goes to be at peace? Not just me, but almost all men? They automatically go into the wild, the great outdoors. They don’t sit around talking through their problems or inhabit support groups. And they don’t even realise why.

Because that’s where they came from, and where they belong.

The Bible isn’t a scientific textbook, but its a book i love and adore for its comprehensive narrative about human nature. It’s a spiritual tome comprising thousands of years of human wisdom that illustrates why, not how or when. The story of the Garden of Eden and Adam and Eve’s fall is there to explain who we are, and why. It tells us about human nature, and helps us to understand the individual natures of men and women. As with all parables and tales, it explains simply what happened in the story and then leaves us to think about it more deeply to arrive at the reasons, implications and wisdom inside.

The story is deceptively simple, but when you start to explore and discuss the detail, it is massively complex. I don’t literally believe Adam and Eve were the first humans implanted on the planet at all, in fact i believe we arrived here through Darwinian evolution and the process of natural selection. For me, that was the mechanism of creation, the perfect design that brought the ecosystem we inhabit into being. The Bible answers the questions of who and why. Like many of the books in it, the story of Adam and Eve is allegorical - it explains who we are in the language that the people of the day understood it in.

We’ve all read and remember the story, but i just want to pick out some chosen bits.

Firstly, Adam was created outside the garden, in the wild. His natural environment and familiar territory was the wild, deadly and deserted wilderness. He was brought into the beautiful garden, not born in it. Eve was made directly from a part of Adam. She was an intrinsic piece of him and he needs her. She was his companion and saviour, but was made in a different place - a place of perfection and beauty which meant that she could never understand the draw of the wild. Eve was the finishing touch of the whole world - the very crown of creation, the most beautiful and wonderful jewel of all eternity. She embodied the beauty, mystery and vulnerability of God.

Most interesting in the whole story is the crux of the drama to unfold - our fall from grace. The serpent held a special hatred of womankind, because she bore the image of the heart of God and gave life. He immediately bypassed Adam and went directly for Eve. The most overlooked and most powerful abstract of the Old Testament is about why Eve chose to eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good & Evil. Its not the reason you expect, for example her curiosity, but something that all women who followed her suffer with.

Eve succumbed because she was convinced God was hiding something from her and she was being lied to. Her fall was due to insecurity, fear and paranoia. The serpent picked on her worst vulnerability and played to her fears to drive her to know what was being hidden from her. Not even the beauty and splendour of all creation and the immediate prescence of God could convince her otherwise. She was easily deceived, wound up in her fears and as a consequence, ended up desiring to control everything around her.

But Adam’s sin was almost worse - he just stood there next to Eve, elbow to elbow, and did nothing. He didn’t fight or intervene. He denied his own nature and gave into his own paralysis. After his collapse, he hid in shame from giving away his strength. Men will hide behind anything to deny their strength, fearing that something bad will happen if they unleash it. The sad truth is that something bad will happen if they don’t.

Creation is unapologetically wild. We do everything we can every day to minimise and avoid risk. Nature loves to stack up the odds before a great victory is won. Men come alive through exploration and are at home in the wild. We’ve lost track of the nature of a man, what a man’s purpose is, and what a man actually is. Men are designed to be dangerous, fiercesome and wild. Man is strength, woman is beauty.

A man’s strength unleashes a woman’s beauty, and vice versa. His strength allows her to be beautiful, and she finds rest in the shadow of that strength. A woman’s femininity arouses a man’s masculinity. Nature built testosterone into male anatomy for a reason. Desire reveals design, and design reveals destiny. A man does not go to a woman to find his strength, he goes to her to offer it. I had to learn this lesson very painfully.

So many women complain about how there do not seem to be any real men left in the world. Well ladies, that’s because you’ve asked them to be women. No man ever dreamt about growing up to be a nice guy, and the favourite word we use with them is “don’t”. If you leave boys alone after taking away their toy weapons, you will consistently see them fashioning weapons out of anything they can find around them.

Women are attracted to the wild man, but as soon as they seduce and obtain him, they set about on a campaign of domestication that ultimately acts to emasculate him. His resistance makes her resent him, but she admires his strength. We put a man in a cage for the same reason we put a lion in a cage - because he is dangerous. But we need men to be dangerous, and to be true to their design. You don’t make anything safe my making it dull, you wield it like a skilled swordsman.

Yes, men also need to be tender. But they need to know when to be strong. Ironically its not a matter of feminine emotional gluttony, more a case of context. Indeed, many girls i know say that the passive behaviour of the men they love often drives them to deliberately start arguments with them, just to stir up that strength because they need and crave it. There are few occasions when you should ever fear a man’s strength or anger - when it is being acted out as unjustified and unwarranted abuse, and when you’re doing something to betray him that would arouse it with good reason.

Masculinity is bestowed from father to son, or through the company of other men. It cannot be learned. Most cultures believe that manhood is attained through ritual and effort. In some African tribes, you are not considered a man until you have killed a lion. By my age 50 years ago, most men had been drilled by national service and killed dozens of others from serving in a war. The nearest we get to that nowadays is a protest march or scrap on the corner of the road outside the pub.

They say every man needs 3 things: a) A battle to fight. A man is fierce, powerful and extremely dangerous. It is his design. There is something fiercesome and wild in the heart of every man. b) An adventure to live. An adventure requires something of us; it puts us to the test, and requires mystery (which is usually too frightening in itself). The trouble is we don’t ever think we’re up to it and so can’t answer our most basic question of whether we are good enough , and c) A beauty to rescue. There is nothing so inspiring to a man as a beautiful woman. Every man dreams of being a hero to the woman he loves, and we take pictures of our gal to keep in our pockets when we are cleaning guns in the trenches.

“The beauty of the female is the root of joy to the female as well as to the male… to desire the enjoying of her own beauty is the obedience of Eve, and to both it is in the lover that the beloved tastes of her own delightfulness.”

C.S. Lewis

Women want to be fought for; to be pursued; to be cherished; to be a priority to someone. They want an adventure to share and be part of; something that is greater than themselves. They want beauty to unveil, truly to be the beauty and to be delighted in. They need to know they are exquisite, exotic and chosen. If a woman is living out their true design they will be valiant, vulnerable and scandalous. They are build to attract and seduce.

Many women hide their beauty in fear or anger, and use it to secure their place in the world - they abuse their power and attack the ones they fear in order to empower themselves. If you don’t wanted to be treated like a sex object, stop acting like one. If you’re obsessed with looks, you’ll be treated as a fake and superficial bimbo. Either way, no man will respect you and every time you’ll be left desolate. If you want to be pursued, you have to let him know he will get their in the end to make him fight. Opening up the jealousy box is a very quick way to see a man’s violently territorial nature in full swing; the key word being “territorial”, which implies ownership of an object. Act like a person, not a thing playing games, and you will be treated as one in return.

You only have to see all the works of art, literature and most dramatically, wars that have been fought for and on behalf of women. Women may live their lives for the men they love, but men worship the female species.

“The naked woman’s body is a portion of eternity too great for the eye of a man.”

William Blake

But their crucial mistake is that they hesitate in fighting for the one they love - the princess they long to rescue just stays in the tower. Men are designed intrinsically to be heroic and give our lives for another as that is what the world needs, but we fail and ask questions before we risk. Life is a matter of risk, and the risk is what gives the magic of the romance. No woman wakes up definitely not wanting to be swept off their feet, and is it that which man does best. Daring, bold and audacious madness is what snares the girl, and commands her.

And if you are male and reading this think its antiquated, anachronistic crap, (or sexist patriarchal rhetoric) then you’re a pussywhipped metrosexual who desperately needs to get a pair of balls . The nature of masculinity is fiercesome and terrifying, and its meant to be that way. When someone threatens a person you love, an animal attacks you, or you are being shot at in a hostile combat area, you get to feel your animalistic nature and all your intellectualising counts for, and means absolutely nothing. You might even spill your latte, god forbid.

We are born into a world already at war and built to fight it in. Be fierce, be wild, be passionate. Explore, build, conquer. This is a man’s purpose, his mission, and his design. Don’t apologise, make excuses or try to make anyone feel more comfortable - let them feel the weight of who you are. This is what man is.


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August 2007
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