Let’s imagine a dreamt-up scenario involving 3 people, 2 men, and 1 girl. The girl, and boy A, were engaged, but they split up in a January because the girl wasn’t attracted to boy A anymore. She’d grown so disinterested that she’d cheated on him with boy B the month before, and then ended the relationship strongly and decisively. Boy B then took over as her primary concern, but he dumped her 2 months later when she became distant and he was fed up. A few weeks after it transpired that girl was in touch with boy A again and they were about to get back together. Boy B was mightily pissed off, not least because the girl had made him out to be a tyrant when his irritation was fully justified.

Boy A was over-sensitive, depressed and incredibly lonely with the girl. Everything in his life was falling apart. He was shocked and emotionally devastated when his life with the girl and all their plans went out in smoke. He left his stuff in the house they lived in, hoping every day they’d get back together. He pined constantly, was distraught and was always trying to find out when the girl would take him back. The girl was tired of the pressure but carrying on leading him on and never making a decision, all the time fighting with boy B.

But the girl didn’t want boy A to find out about boy B because he apparently wouldn’t survive it emotionally - it would “kill” him if he found out. It was her worst fear.

But, wait.

What if that wasn’t what happened? What if that was her story and not the real one?

What if the story that the girl told boy B was actually her synthetic version of events, a pack of absurd lies she was drowning in. What if his side of the story was markedly different?

What if it was the other way round and boy A and her had arranged some space apart, and she was waiting for him to take her back?

What if…

What if she wasn’t the confident assertive one that do all the breaking up, and boy A was the one who instigated it all with her just agreeing? What if she couldn’t detach even if she didn’t fancy him anymore and was actually very weak and obsessive, and he was the only person she’d ever been close to in her life?

What if boy A told her that they should have some space and come back to it a few months later? What if she was the one who was pining for boy A back but was hurt enough to punish him for those few months and got herself a backup in the form of boy B in case they didn’t get back together?

Maybe she told boy B and her family a bunch of crap about her dumping boy A and him pining for her to avoid looking pathetic, whilst it was the other way round and boy A was getting on with things and telling her to get herself sorted out. What if the girl made out to boy B she was spending time making her decision about her relationship but it was the other way round and was actually waiting for boy A to get back with her?

What if the reason the girl didn’t want boy A to find out about boy B wasn’t that he would be devastated, but that it would totally stop boy A from wanting to get back together with the girl and ruined her plan? What if “all the lying” she had told boy B about that she couldn’t do anymore was actually not lying to boy A, but to him?

What if… the girl had taken a drop in salary that happened to be exactly the same amount that boy A paid her in rent?

What if the girl was hanging on to boy B to make friends with him to ensure he never told boy A?

What if boy B told her to fuck right off and blocked her plan? What if boy A had already contacted boy B but neither of them had told her, because boy A was waiting for boy B to decide what he wanted to do?

And what if boy B had also caught her at it several times and been onto her for quite a long time?

What should boy B do? Should he show her compassion, or put a stake right through her heart for it?

“All we love is lonely wreckage.”

“Stay Beautiful” by Manic Street Preachers

My idea of love comes from
A childhood glimpse of pornography
Though there is no true love
Just a finely tuned jealousy
Life becoming a landslide
A mile empty inside

“Life Becoming A Landslide” by Manic Street Preachers