It’s advisable to ration your daily azcameron as i am in what my therapist describes as a “period of hyper-productivity” and “empire-building”. By the end of July i will have re-created myself almost entirely and rule over a whole series of new ventures, companies and ideas. As my mum so patronisingly puts it, i’m like an excited little boy. I have a feeling the next 6 weeks are going to be the best and most amazing of my life so far.

Miss 3am maintains that Kel going cold on me in March was obviously because of Emma reappearing. This is apparently obvious to everyone except me, as she was perfectly ok with it and i thought she was getting back with her ex off her own backfor her own reasons because she’d been lying about it for ages. So i didn’t connect the two and lashed out, and she didn’t say anything then or afterwards. Now would someone please explain to me how and why you have to ignore almost anything a woman says because she’s feeling something different?

———————————————–
From: [removed] Mickey Marmite [mailto:removed@live.co.uk]
Sent: 24 June 2008 22:52
To: alex.cameron@digitaltx.tv
Subject: RE: Proud of you

Chain Reactions from a master hypocrite…. A beautiful and honest piece of writing.. I’ve had to look it up for you. ( slavia Collinea at your service) I’ll tell you something else.

You have a gift in your eloquence, and sharing your self exploration and feelings.

And yes, I had warned you! But least you understand about how previous current (Kell) would feel about contact with ex (Emma). In order to maintain ones dignity and appear cool and confident rather than neurotic, jealous , insecure possessive type, a woman has to give the impression of, to quote you, “seeming totally cool with it”.

And the Rockstar 2 Report seems to have gone around the labels, and even to the boss of Terra Firma (VC who bought EMI).

———————————————–
From: Removed [mailto:first.last@emimusic.com]
Sent: 23 June 2008 15:07
To: alex.cameron@digitaltx.tv
Subject: RE: Rockstar 2.0

Hi Alex
You are welcome!

I read your report some time ago and have two thoughts about it: Very entertaining and very clever!
By the way - I do think Mr Guy Hands have read it too and likes it.

Good luck with the hate and regulations!
[removed[
—
EMI Music International
27 Wrights Lane
London W8 5SW

Best ‘Out of Office’ Automatic Email Replies:

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over…)
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Lucille’ instead of Steve.

And the last word, as always, to Toto.

“So you really want me to go through the filter of an electronic piece of software just to tell you in one word you’re a bastard who I’ve known 5-10 years and don’t fancy.

There, done. So much simpler.”