My god the South Bank is looking beautiful this summer. I hate to say it, but it’s almost becoming…romantic. I’ve spent 2 nights there this week and it’s full to the rafters with people swarming around the Royal Festival Hall and the riverside restaurants. Almost by default my favourite place to hang out has become London’s trendiest summer haunt.

It seems like everyone i know seems to want to introduce me to their single female friends, which is great, quite frankly. I’m about ready to start enjoying being a single young man again and you can damn well forget any talk of marriage and kids for a long time. I’ve worked too hard and been let down too much to be making long-term plans just yet. Viva la dating revolution por Le Cameron.

I’ve also met some fascinating people, and felt my mojo reignited. Yes ladies, it would appear the temporary illusion of safety my monogamous months have brought is soon to come to an end. A whole crowd of new friends and almost all of the them creative people. I’m experiencing a new freedom by accepting my own creative desires and looking on at the poor fuckers who work themselves to death in offices 9 to 5. I’m free of any nagging assertion in my heart that i should somehow conform in any way. I’ve realised within myself fully that the only thing that changes anything are things that are unique or different.

City life and fashion trends dictate this silly message that you should aim to be like everyone else. What an absurd idea. Me love me, and i love being me now. I have a confidence to go against the grain and just push very honestly and passionately to be different – take different angles, take risks, and allow people to surprise you. It’s more important to step out then stay in.

Joel Osteen has had a really amazing effect on me as i’ve been watching his talks every morning and when i’m relaxing. It makes such a difference to have a positive message fed to you deliberately every day and you start to notice the negative. Only when you see the polar opposite do you notice the thing you hadn’t seen before in a new light. Suddenly you begin to see that everywhere you look, and everywhere you go, the messages you are receiving are incredibly negative. Literally everywhere.
Then you realise that those messages are being picked up by you subconsciously and they are programming your mood and attitude. It’s made think about what i’m letting in. What i’m letting in to my mind, my heart and my soul.

Those messages are coming through from what we see in the street, the attitudes of other people, TV, the internet, advertising and more. Fear sells newspapers, and insecurity sells cosmetics. We are being discouraged and brainwashed every single day by marketing that aims to sell us things by leveraging and thumbscrewing our darkest places.

Here is just a small sprinkling of what is being programmed into your head every minute of the day:

• You are not good enough as you are.
• You need to be perfect.
• You can only be normal and/or better if you buy X.
• Being wealthy solves all your problems.
• To be accepted you need to be like everyone else.
• Money, status and possessions make you happy and give you what you need.
• If you buy X, you will be better, or [disaster] won’t happen.
• What happens if… [bad/humiliating event]
• It’s all about you so always look after number one before anyone else.
• What you own and how you look dictates who and what you are.
• You are only worth something if you are attractive or famous.
• Evil always wins the day and is more dramatic and noticeable.
• Everything is going to get worse.
• Don’t be proactive, just sit there and let someone else entertain you.
• There are disasters and catastrophes happening everywhere.
• You will never get to be anything unless you have lots of possessions.
• You should take revenge instead of forgiving.

Fear, uncertainty, and doubt.

Here it is in glorious Technicolor. The message you are given every day, everywhere you look. The message you pick up that is infectious. You infect everyone you meet with it if you believe it.

YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.
YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.
YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.
YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.
YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.
YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.
YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.
YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.
YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.
YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.
YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.
YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.
YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.
YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.
YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.

My friends, these are lies. Lies sell products. Lies make insecure girls buy magazines that tell them they need to keep dieting and be thin to be happy, worthy and successful, and show other people falling apart trying to be skinny. Men are fed semi-naked retouched sex object girls. Both are told that they will be unattractive as they are and need to buy products so their external is presentable. When people stop buying them, they will change the message. The truth that insecurity and fear makes us buy. And as long as we keep buying, they’ll keep trotting out the same old rubbish.

When you are hearing the same messages over and over again everywhere you go, it sinks in and is reinforced. You are inadvertently brainwashed and reinforce it in every person you know. You start to judge other people by those beliefs. I’m not talking about some big conspiracy; i’m talking about straightforward business. You do what you can to get people to buy what you’re selling and gain new customers and sales. It’s perfectly normal and natural, but it’s appallingly destructive. We learn what drives sales, and we keep doing it.

The sad fact is that putting Jordan or Lucy Pinder on a front page means you sell 15% more copies than you normally would. Taking away skinny anorexic celebrities and their “traumas” (that are always staged) means your sales will slump. You put these things on the front page because we flock to them in droves. They sell. It doesn’t mean they are right or true – in fact, people will believe whatever they want to regardless of the truth. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t stop it, agree with it or accept it.

We have a generation of people programmed by constant advertising displayed everywhere they go and a TV in every room pumping them relentlessly with melodramatic garbage that stimulates them to buy and consume, and to believe things that simply aren’t true. We know it’s not true but for some reason we can’t stop buying – like a drug addict we are in a cycle of need and nourishment that always leaves us hungry at the end so we keeping spending and buying.

Think that’s over-exaggeration or whimsical fancy? Look around you. Ask yourself what you believe and what your friends believe – not according to what they say, but how they act. Do you need to be more attractive? Is your house full of expensive possessions? Are you in debt from buying things on your credit card? Do you buy magazines to read about celebrities? Did you disown a friend or get your own back? Are you self-conscious? Do you think you have what you need to get what you want in life?
Not so simple is it?

Our futures are dictated and limited by replaying the past in our minds, like we’re watching a TV channel. It’s usually something like the “defeat” channel, the “gloom and despair” channel and the “who hurt me” channel. We’re tuned in, listening and telling ourselves the same thing over and over again. It’s hardly ever the “gratitude” channel, the “i can do this” channel or the “this is going to be the most wonderful day” channel. Eventually we don’t need the TV anymore as we just keep replaying all of our failures (there is no such thing) and defeats (there is no such thing) to ourselves, and curse and condemn ourselves without any help from consumer companies.

We’re watching the wrong channel. We need to turn it off and switch over to another channel.
Think of your daily routine and what’s being said to you. What are you thinking when you wake up? What are you seeing around you? What TV programs are you watching and what are they saying to you? What music are you listening to – what mood, what message and how often? What habits have you developed that keep you seated? How do your friends behave and what do they believe? What messages are they giving you? When you walk around what do the posters and adverts say? What’s being said over the intercom?

You have to be vigilant for what is going inside you. The things you read are indeed going inside – the newspapers, magazines, books, websites and emails. The things your friends encourage to you to do or not do matter. The things TV programs are based on are negative. The music you listen to reinforces feelings more than it eases them.

These are not only subjects, pictures, topics and messages, but they are triggers. They make us do something. They make us feel something, think about something or act on something. You need to ask yourself what the advert is telling you, and then how it makes you feel. Then you need to ask yourself what you are being told to do and whether you are going to do it. As soon as you interrupt the auto-pilot, the world changes because your thinking has. If you want to break out from being a slave, you need to look down and see your arms and legs are in chains before you stumble for a key.

I know now that i have to change my attitude and that negative internal dialogue that i haven’t realised i have been relying on. I’ve found myself talking positively lately without even knowing about it. I’m just there and start finding negativity so fucking pointless and irritating. I don’t have to think this way. I can change and delight in what i have, and i can choose to have faith. It’s amazing how quickly you pick it up as a habit and how much better your day goes when you start it with reinforcing positivity every morning. It may sound cheesy but as soon as you do, everything changes. You start interrupting your thoughts and words once you hear them come out, and then you replace them. Hopefully when you do it enough, it becomes standard.

And there’s a great lie – that being positive is somehow cheesy. It’s not. Who told you that being positive, pleasant, encouraging and faithful makes you look silly? There’s another message for you that’s been placed into your head.

Joel mentions a fantastic idea that is so simple and so effective – an “encouragement file”. I’ve started building one. Essentially you store cards, letters, compliments, achievements,

encouragements, notes, nice things and gestures of love and positivity in a physical paper file that you look over whenever you are tempted to be down. You revisit it and add to it regularly, which is key. You tune into the TV channel which is positive and encouraging, and adsorb a different message. Yes, you do it to cheer yourself up, but more importantly you take in those positive messages to remind yourself that you are being bombarded by negative ones.

You need to encourage yourself, and it’s an idea that comes directly from God, as he compliments himself in scripture. Spiritually-speaking, we are to copy and mimic God in every way – He is our model, and what He does is right and healthy. We are to have confidence, encourage ourselves and others, and pass along kindness we receive. I am very lucky to have a lot of successes and achievements behind me, as well as a hell of a lot of more interesting and difficult times that have created my character and given me the wisdom and experience i need for the challenges ahead.

When you understand the reason behind creation, it is a hell of a lot easier. Looking at who God is tells you who you are, why you are here and how you should be. The Bible may include masses of destruction, but it is almost always judgement on very evil people or being used for a specific (positive) outcome. The message is overwhelmingly positive –you are good enough, you are loved, don’t fear, you will have everything you need, you will fulfil your dreams and goals and will prosper many times over. You have so much to be grateful for and you can make a difference. You are unique, cared for, wanted, individual and were given everything you need to do what you were made to do.

Don’t tell me. Too much hassle to put together that file? Can’t be bothered to sift through lots of things and take the time? Nice thought but you probably won’t bother?

Congratulations on being brainwashed into apathy by those lies. Just sit back, consume and do as you are told. Getting a takeaway or some instant gratification.

These are decisions we must make for ourselves. These are messages we must see for ourselves. They are being played all around you but it’s almost impossible to see simply as there are very few positive, polar-opposite ones. I’ve learned first hand how powerful it is to forgive and to tell someone “i believe in you” with sincerity. It’s an emotional and hard-hitting experience because you realise no-one has ever said it before. It’s dangerous because it causes a massive chain reaction by unleashing your faith and confidence underneath.

And that’s the worst thing for consumer marketing- a wise and informed populace who know how to think critically and are know they are worth something. A people who are spending money they don’t have on stupid things they don’t actually need. If you believe you are worthy, attractive and loved as you are, you don’t stop dressing up nicely or wearing fashionable clothes, you simply become more discriminate and less insane with your buying habits. Sales go down. Fear gets ramped up in response to get a reaction and bring those sales back up. When you realise you are numb from being constantly poked in painful places, it’s because you’ve looked in that encouragement file and woken up to the fact once again that 99% of what you are seeing an hearing is negative.

But the key lesson is that subliminal messages can only be accepted if you are unaware of them. They have no power over those who recognise them and reject them for what they are – cynical marketing and dramatic TV overplay. The more important reason to build one of those files is to remind yourself regularly to de-program, feel loved and stand out from the rest of the very negative crowd. If you can be convinced you can’t do something or shouldn’t be appreciated as something, you will never get anywhere or even bother to try.

P.S. You have no idea how satisfying it is to see “Jakomi Matthews is looking for a job” on LinkedIn. I told you, motherfucker. Fucking with me is a short walk off a long plank, and those who are as obnoxious as that fucking moron never prosper. You’re just one in a long list now, Jakomi. All of them meet their demise in the end, just as i tend to predict it.