Like you, I had a positively shit start in life — and like you, no one nurtured my potential (I have such a love/hate for that word). I have harboured darkness and bitterness in my heart and soul for the longest time.

It took until the beginning of this year for me to figure out that I actually had to CHOOSE happiness. I mean I’m sure I’d pondered it before, but it was like a sudden explosion of clarity… Maybe I knew I had to choose it but never actually did.

Since then I’ve started seeing the good in everything. I’ve also noticed a bizarre side-effect: when you’re positive more good stuff happens. It’s such a cliché but so true, right?!

I wanted to tell the universe the amazing secret, staring them so blindingly in the face… and then I realised I’d look like that guy, the one who shouts about Jesus by our fountain in town on Saturday afternoons.

People only see preaching until they find it for themselves. They can’t even comprehend what you’re talking about so they poke and run, or follow and nod, without ever really understanding.

It’s so hard to see people close to you unable to be happy, especially when you can see all their good stuff. I wish I knew the secret to helping others see the choice, or perhaps more importantly, helping them choose it. I can only deduce that most people are either totally blind, or happy being miserable. Perhaps they prefer to moan and whine than live and laugh.

I had a very upsetting time recently, and instead of hiding away (as would be the norm,) I chose to look outward instead of in. I’m not religious, mostly due to the childhood crap, but I found myself having a very spiritual moment. I had another, even greater, a few days later.

I haven’t told anyone about that yet, I’m trying to word it right so I don’t scare them. When you’ve been a certain way your whole life and you change, people tend to worry, especially if you’re happier. “Stay miserable, you’re scaring me!”

I love your passion, after reading your site for a while I’m overwhelmed by it. But then that’s my nature, drink it in until you burst.

Thank you for the read — I think your blog just became staple diet =)

Lila
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