This weeka friend of mine wrote to me asking what i meant by being a “liberal” Christian. I replied that is was to do with my view on God’s character and the positive message of scripture, as well as the foundation of my faith in science and reason. I didn’t know he had been a Christian for 20 years, and asked him when it all changed for him. As they say, once you make your decision, nothing is ever the same again, hence the idea of being a “new creation”.

This is what he said.

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The bit in your book about the 10 commandments, and lusting after another woman made me think hard too. I suppose specifically its about wanting a woman in a way where you have power over her, and certainly if you are married its wrong.

I just wondered about the liberal bit, when you described yourself as liberal. Although I’ve been a Christian for 20 years, for me I am not particularly into labels and so I wasn’t even 100% sure what liberal meant. Your arguments on homosexuality, for example, I’d agree with. If that makes me a liberal Christian I guess I am. So it was interesting as I’d only thought of myself as a Christian before, and not further classified into a type of ..

But equally, I find certain bits in the Bible encourage me to be clear about my faith when others ask (is that preaching or is it more like making it clear that I am a Christian and people can always ask me if they want to find more). And not to give up meeting together with other Christians is another one of them, hence the journey to find a good church to attend….

Luke 11:23 was the catalyst.

Unlike you (I think), I had a great father and mother. No problems identifying an Abba Father character in God. Except I actively disbelieved because it was just plain daft. What was the point of doing Applied Physics at University and believing I understood stuff, if I was just going to believe in something invisible; intangible etc etc. Anyway, Durham is so full of churches, and the University is quite underpinned by Christian stuff that inevitably I met Christians and encouraged in all sorts of debate with them, from my position of obvious superiority. And the thing about these debates is, you can’t prove faith because if you could, you wouldn’t need faith. So we could have all sorts of fun arguments over many pints and got nowhere further, other than offending people.

But, one day this chap said to me – “did you know in the Bible it says

He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me, scatters.”

So I thought. Hmm, if the Bible does record Christ as saying that, what is my response? Seeing as I had heard it for the first time, I felt like I couldn’t hide from it, but I had to work out what to do with that information.

I started from the assumption that the Bible was quite possibly a load of rubbish and that Christ quite possibly didn’t say this and didn’t exist. But he might have.

So,

1. If the Bible was not true, then it wasn’t an issue – result: Irrelevant
2. If the Bible was true, and I was not FOR Christ then I was automatically against him – result: Not good for my long time future inc the eternal
3. If the Bible was true, and I was FOR Christ – result: Good choice, excellent choice in fact if you consider the eternal. The only downside – I had to change how I lived. But the changes were actually pretty good e.g. Be faithful to wife; don’t steal; pray to and worship the creator of the universe out of free will …

If there was the chance the Bible was true, or if it definitely was true, then what it said needed serious consideration.

I couldn’t guarantee the Bible was false. Therefore I had to rule out 1.

So I just decided that for me, the evidence and the circumstances meant I had to choose 3. It was too big a gamble to ignore it and default to 2.

I was FOR Christ, and all that it entailed.

So I became a Christian. About 1985 I think.

A whole load of ups and downs since then. I’ve seen the worst excesses of church and Christianity, and I’ve seen some of the very best. From lovely, caring old people together in marriage and still in love with the Father and each other to homosexual abuse of innocents by a Christian radio presenter who I had to fire, and watch his marriage dissolve in front of my eyes, when I was living in Zambia.

I am not going to throw out my belief because of the bad behaviour of other Christians. That’s their choice and they will have the end results of their behaviour.

I haven’t ‘got it’ all yet. The issues of genetic research; the creation etc are all on my to do list to work out. But equally I don’t need to rationalise everything to understand that the gospel is about loving the Father and loving your neighbour.

I guess you can see, from my point of view, that I don’t want to be a half hearted Christian. Its incompatible with what I believe. Yet I don’t want to force my religion down people’s throats and people that know me do know I am a Christian and I am happy to discuss it.

Issues of sex outside marriage; porn; getting totally pissed and the like are issues that I face; have faced; fail and succeed at, depending on what day of the week it is and whether I am close to the Father or distant. Its like you said, if you imagine your loved one in bed with someone else its pretty bad. But if you don’t really care about your loved one and haven’t talked to them much over the last couple of months; maybe it feels less bad or even irrelevant. Its like that with me and God’s word and sinning. I can convince myself that the here and now is all that matters, but over time, I have to ask about my own character – can I be trusted? What am I like when I am on my own, in a country where nobody knows me; or in a hotel room where nobody can see me. Do I want to have to fight my own character or do I want to mould my character into something as Christlike as I can, with God’s help.

Phew. That’s enough for now as I need to contemplate the delicacies of online media in a changing world!

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And Lila posted an excellent comment that deserves mention of its own:

Like you, I had a positively shit start in life — and like you, no one nurtured my potential (I have such a love/hate for that word). I have harboured darkness and bitterness in my heart and soul for the longest time.

It took until the beginning of this year for me to figure out that I actually had to CHOOSE happiness. I mean I’m sure I’d pondered it before, but it was like a sudden explosion of clarity… Maybe I knew I had to choose it but never actually did.

Since then I’ve started seeing the good in everything. I’ve also noticed a bizarre side-effect: when you’re positive more good stuff happens. It’s such a cliché but so true, right?!

I wanted to tell the universe the amazing secret, staring them so blindingly in the face… and then I realised I’d look like that guy, the one who shouts about Jesus by our fountain in town on Saturday afternoons.

People only see preaching until they find it for themselves. They can’t even comprehend what you’re talking about so they poke and run, or follow and nod, without ever really understanding.

It’s so hard to see people close to you unable to be happy, especially when you can see all their good stuff. I wish I knew the secret to helping others see the choice, or perhaps more importantly, helping them choose it. I can only deduce that most people are either totally blind, or happy being miserable. Perhaps they prefer to moan and whine than live and laugh.

I had a very upsetting time recently, and instead of hiding away (as would be the norm,) I chose to look outward instead of in. I’m not religious, mostly due to the childhood crap, but I found myself having a very spiritual moment. I had another, even greater, a few days later.

I haven’t told anyone about that yet, I’m trying to word it right so I don’t scare them. When you’ve been a certain way your whole life and you change, people tend to worry, especially if you’re happier. “Stay miserable, you’re scaring me!”

I love your passion, after reading your site for a while I’m overwhelmed by it. But then that’s my nature, drink it in until you burst.

Thank you for the read — I think your blog just became staple diet =)

Lila
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