I’m getting increasingly fucked off. Today it was announced that on top of the £400BN handout, the government is giving our 2 big national commercial banks £37BN to bail them out, which they probably got through by temporarily conceding the 42-day detention-without-trial limit. The others all have foreign ownership (HSBC, Abbey etc) and don’t count.

If you don’t know how politics works, allow me to illustrate it for you so you can remember why you weren’t interested in it in the first place. Don’t be fooled by the bullshit you hear on the news, or the government’s spin machine. Or banking talks of “preference” shares.

First up, investigations. The Menezes one. The reason politicians call for an inquiry is to dodge the blame and the shit that comes with them. It’s a solution to that annoying problem. The investigation will inevitably take a number of years, and by the time the results are published, no-one will really care anymore once the emotion of the moment has passed. You can evade questions by saying that answering them would prejudice the inquiry, and your political capital will be preserved as you look like you care and are doing everything you can to deal with it effectively. It’s being done to avoid what happened during the Great Depression when 9000 banks went bust and caused record unexployment.

Thr truth is that we are really, really fucked when it comes to this economic depression, and the government is hoping they will make a lot of money from it all. Nobody knows if the big gamble will work out. Allow me to help you with a shortcut: it won’t. You can’t get out of a debt crisis by adding more debt; you can only put off the inevitable.

The first question you need to ask yourself is, what are the banks going to do with this money? That’s right, they’re being given it so they can lend it back out. To who? You and me. Yes, the banks are being given taxpayers money to lend back out to taxpayers again. Money they didn’t have in the first place as they had lent well over the limit the fractional reserve system allows them to. And so both they and the City feel all warm and cosy that they won’t go bankrupt if the mass of idiots they lent too much to can’t pay back what they owe. The government is buiying up bank shares with bonds/promises.

These are the same institutions who we had to make laws about so they would stop fucking over-charging ordinary people ridiculous amounts for wiritng letters, late payments and unauthorised overdrafts. The same ones who have been making record profits every year for the last decade. They are NOT our friends, and if the situation was reversed, they really wouldn’t give a fuck about you.

The most amusing thing is the people who work inside these banks who think they are completely on the money (excuse the mandatory pun) and somehow “get” what us plebs don’t. Ignore them. The same people who try to give you advice on running a business when they’ve never run one themselves. They are fucking morons who deserve to be unseated and thrown out on the street, complete with a taxpayer bond in their pocket. They are 9to5 idiots who read too many internal emails, listen too intently to their clueless line manager, are trying to make themselves sound important and haven’t got a fucking clue of the politics that happens at board level.

So let’s state what we know.

Gordon Brown is going to lose the next election to David Cameron. He’s simply not sexy enough, his party are open revolt, and he backslides on big decisions. That means he’s going to be thinking about what he’s going to do after he loses. Where is he most likely to end up? The board of a bank, or an oil or weapons company. Do them a favour, and they’ll do you one when you leave office. Alistair Darling is a fucking transport secretary, not an accountant. Brown is calling the shots.

Where do bank CEOs and board members go once they’ve been made to give up their cushy jobs? A governmental agency or think-tank, or even highly-paid consulting jobs for the Cabinet. Wherever Tony Blair is, i bet he’s smiling. When the system goes down, Brown will get all the blame and Blair will be hailed as the only one who was anle to get Labour into power (being a 15-year former Tory) and whose disappearance undid the world as we know it. That poisoned chalice he handed to his desperate-for-power sidekick is probably tasting very sweet right now.

If you want to get something funded, you give it an intially small value, then inflate it once its already underway. For example, ID cards, the NHS “Data Spine” and the Olympics. If you can’t beat the government on the moral bullshit of ID cards, you can fight the battle by undermining the idea by making sure journalists get hold of stories about how much data is being lost every day by careless civil servants and 3rd party contractors like EDS.

Our economic boom has been built on false prosperity, throuygh debt. When a boom happens, a bust follows. The government is buying a majority shareholding in major banks (therefore diluting and devaluing the existing ones, meaning shareholders who have already invested will lose wealth), as it sees an opportunity to make a profit. In 10 years, the share value of the banls will be well up high, and they will sell them for a profit. So the government have taken a lot of taxpayer money and foreign-loaned money that’s not theirs, invested it in 2 commercial banks, and will almost certainly keep the cash profit they make when they sell it off in a few years.

Do you think you’ll be getting a cheque in the post for the £13,000 cash investment (and subsequent profit) you just gave them? More likely it will supposedly “re-invested” on your behalf in unnoticeable “improvements to public services” that politicians will claim credit for, when really you won’t see a penny and it actually went down a black hole.

But what is taxpayer money? Mostly it comes in the form of government bonds. Put simply, a “bond” is a promise. It’s a little piece of paper (a receipt) that says “i promise and guarantee to pay you back”. So you can buy things up and exchange currency with bonds. Bonds are essentially backed up by the revenue from taxes or borrowing money from other countries.

Is the madness sinking in yet? We are buying things with bonds guaranteed with money from taxes, to fund the banks lending spree that has to be repaid to them with taxpayer money. You go round and round and round, and the net result is yet another massive pattern of debt, borrowing and collapse. Failure is built in to the whole thing.

All this is hilarious as the Tories are almost always against nationalisation and big government, being the leading flagbearers for privatisation. But this time, along with the liberal democrats, they’ve waved through nationalisation without a second thought other than we might be able to reverse it later when the shares are sold. Next time you hear the Tories talk about government meddling, tell them to shut up. Don’t get me started on Private-Public Partnerships (PPP) either, as its just a backdoor privatisation by another cutesy name.

The most telling part of all of this is that Barclays has gone out on its own to re-capitalise its reserves with £6BN by borrowing internationally and re-issuing new ordinary shares. They can go out and do it on their own, but the others can’t apparently. What you need to know about the Lloyds deal is that it has been on the table for a long time now and is not new at all - it’s been blocked several times because of competition issues. Now we suddenly have a crisis, and the merger goes through. The board execs have their way eventually as they saw the opportunity to squeeze the deal through.

The boards of the banks *wanted* the merger to happen. Think about that and what it means.

What’s happening is a giant swap. The banks have spent and loaned imaginary money (as they are allowed to under the fractional reserve system), and are receiving real money and wealth back in return (cash, property, assets etc). The contraction of the money supply is reconciling their resources and transferring your physical wealth to their control and balance sheet. Yes, hello? You’re getting royally fucked.

Politics is about 2 things - the agenda, and how it looks. Hence why words and phrases are so important. Everyone has an agenda - everyone. How it looks controls how the public (i.e. your power base) reacts. All a politician wants is what all politicians want - to get into power, and to stay there at whatever cost. So you look for the agendas, and how things are being presented. Look deeper and beyond what is being said, and you will see the plays. All you have to do is re-name something, and claim it’s a differently thing.

You trade votes, and policies. You vote for me on this, and i’ll vote for you on that (horse trading). I’ll give you the votes and quiet compliance for this policy if you take this bit out, and you put in my amendment here on that policy in return. Add in some incentives for my party members and the people in the deal too, and smooth it over with the public via your PR department.

You can completely rely on most people being so fucking apathetic and disinterested that they won’t bother to say anything or care about you doing it.