A few days ago i had a pretty bruising experience that led me to doubt myself, and it really took me by surprise. One of my friend’s sister took a quip about US Republican politics i wrote on Facebook (of all places) very much the wrong way and was incredibly abusive not just on my wall but in private messages to my friends. I didn’t take much notice because i knew back when she was tiny, and she didn’t get the political point. But sometime later her brother, Ryan, who i went to infant school with, launched a very personal and vicious attack on me which claimed to have the support of all out friends.

Now i have a very thick skin but because he’s a childhood friend that knows my roots and of how personal it was meant it really stung. I almost believed him. I spoke to my friends and asked them to tell me honestly it his was a widely-held opinion because i didn’t want to take their friendship for granted. I doubted myself in a big way. It got to me, which is very rare. It’s made pretty miserable on the inside even though i didn’t show it.

There is this incredible passage in Isaiah 59 about military conflict which says “the enemy shall come in like a flood, but the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a barrier against him.” My enemy was doubt, fear and just feeling a little defeated. Somehow it had broken through the walls slightly.

But what happened next was amazing. The next morning, there was a resounding response. A massive barrier of encouragement to a flood of criticism.

My “prisoner of hope” article went nuts. I still can’t believe the response as i didn’t really thnk much of it - i was tired, the message seemed a bit bland, You know. I’ve had a wonderful barrage of comments all saying things like “Alex for President”, “Alex For Priminister[sic]” and “Vote for Alex”, which is hilariously lovely.

Then i saw this.

“I work for jimbo (jakes dad) & it was he who was running around the factory yesterday swooning about this amazing guy (he`s been going on about you for a couple of weeks now) who, after reading your `invincible` had given him more inspiration than ,in his words, `any other so called f….g guru puff bastard had in a lifetime`.He then made everybody sit down and read the whole piece,& I have to say not many people would argue when jimbo tells you to do something (I maybe being a bit harsh on him, he`s a `brill` guy plus a big softy really). Thank you again for your website. “

And it carried on with Lila.

“Invincible prisoner of hope = epic and encapsulates a lot of my recent thoughts. I am at least 200% more awesome for having read it.”

And Kyle:

“Kate has been filling me in on all the great things you have been doing and I write to you today to offer my services as a camera operator and an editor. “

Then from a very disllusioned and fed up Stef:

“it was so nice meeting you again Interesting things lie ahead.”

And Jools:

“hope you dont mind me messaging you,just saw a wall post of yours on the group for getting facebook to shut offensive groups down. I read through all the posts on there and i just wanted to tell you yours was the one that showed common sense!! anyways, just wanted to give you credit for a down to earth, informed and intelligent post, makes a change, most people who disagree with a group launch into a tirade of abuse so nice to see someone putting an opposing view across in a mature and decent way!”

and of course Hailey, who is just hilarious and screamed when we saw Alan Sugar’s car in Whitehall:

“It was so lovely to meet you today! I was pleasantly surprised at your outgoing yet down to earth personality and I certainly hope to start working with you very very soon! It’s very rare that I find people with a sense of humour as politically incorrect as my own!”

And from “The Rack”:

“you must have no fear in me keeping it together for that is what I do best! Your words however are so kind and you are also an inspiration to us all. Let me give some words back to you as it’s what you deserve. You, are kind, passionate, thoughtful, unstoppable, witty, well mannered and a genius. You’ve word incredibly hard for everything you have and are respected by many, especially me. I love the fact that you say I can call you and vent!”

The king of all of it was hearing Persia screech “i want to see you!” down the phone so enthusiastically with all her infectious energy at full volume.

That doesn’t count the text messages, phone calls and things said in person. On Facebook i’m averaging about 40+ messages a day and its very difficult to keep up. Just a flood of encouragement.

And later that day, i got a long response from several of my friends that was brutally honest. Ryan was speaking for himself and didn’t understand why he’d been that vicious. All independently defended each other’s loyalty and even though they think i’m nuts, they didn’t think that way. How do i know it was honest? Because 2 of them i trust more than anything, and i have known them to have lived 30 years with integrity and character, and they’ve never spared me pain before. The moral was that i should have questioned his agenda before i questioned my childhood friendships. C’est la vie.

But if you fancied getting into the debate about freedom of speech, you might want to check out the discussion board of an insane Facebook group i’ve been arguing with, as they want to ban joke-telling that offends them.

To roll up your sleeves, just have a look here:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=38073757422