Archive for the 'Surveys' Category

01
Dec

insider information about november’s flood

By Alex Cameron 0 Comments
Categories: Life, Misc and Surveys

Woah. How quickly this year went by. Another month of people arriving for the weirdest things in the weirdest ways as this site reached 80,000 visits. Babestation is really accelerating the hits as every Sky subscriber finds their way here looking for each girl’s naked pics and “chav slut porn”. It’s also been a few weeks when i’ve had the most positive feedback about what i’ve written.

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31
Aug

august and everything we found during

By Alex Cameron 0 Comments
Categories: Life, Misc and Surveys

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12
Aug

fill out amy’s female sexuality survey

By Alex Cameron 0 Comments
Categories: Life, Misc, Romance and Surveys

The gorgeous Amy Tipper-Hale is doing a survey fpr a book that is being co-written by 2 others for WIllim Berry that will be out later this year focusing on female sexuality and the London dating scene. Women, copy and paste these questions and send your answers to tipper.amy@googlemail.com.

If you are one of my ex-girlfriends, please, for fuck’s sake, don’t send me your answers. Just need to make that clear. No, it’s not funny.

  1. What is your name? (1 and 2 can be kept anonymous if you prefer)
  2. Contact information, phone number and or e-mail address?
  3. How old are you?
  4. Are you single, involved but not married, or married?
  5. If single, how have you found getting back on the dating scene?
  6. What is your sexual orientation? Has it stayed the same or changed throughout the years?
  7. How many men and women have you dated in the past?
  8. Haw hard/easy do you find flirting with the opposite/same sex
  9. What dating avenues have you explored in the past? (ie. Internet dating sites)
  10. How many serious relationships have you had in the past?
  11. What it is you look for when you look for someone to date?
  12. What it is you look for when seeking a serious relationship?
  13. How many people have you had sex with?
  14. Of those you have slept with, how many were one night stands?
  15. At what age did you lose your virginity?
  16. From a range of 1 to 10 (1 being not at all to 10 being extremely) how free are you with your sex life and experimentation?
  17. Do you own any sex toys? If so, how many and what is your favourite?
  18. Do you keep your sex toys as secrets or do you talk openly about them with your friends?
  19. Do you go to sex shops in London? Why or why not?
  20. From a range of 1 to 10 (1 again being not at all to 10 being extremely) how comfortable do you feel purchasing condoms? Does it matter if it’s from a sex shop or a store like Boots?
  21. Would you say you gravitate more towards calm steady relationships that are less exciting but more reliable or fiery passionate relationships?
  22. Have you ever lied about your sexual experiences to a prospective/new partner? And if so, did you say you were more or less experienced that you were?
  23. Do you think virginity is still important? Or something that can hold a woman back?
  24. Do you watch porn? If so, only with a partner or alone?
  25. How much influence have friends/family had in your openness or ability to express yourself sexually?
  26. Are you happy?

Please tell us one story about your sexual life and or relationships? Whether it be a story about the men/women you date, a sexual fantasy, an experience at a sex shop, anything that you would like to share with us.

Go on, do it. :)

13
Jun

those alex survey results in full

By Alex Cameron 1 Comment
Categories: Black Arts, Christianity, Jedi Skills, Misc, Rants, Romance, Surveys and Wisdom

It was a risk, but it went well. This is certainly going to be amusing for some. Over 3 or so days, i had reached the 200 respondents limit on my SurveyGizmo account. Another 112 abandoned their answers so didn’t count, and around 20 people emailed me answers instead. All in all, i had a few hundred responses that reached different ends of the spectrum.

The first Alex Cameron survey made very interesting viewing. In toral around half of my friends got back to me and gave a very rounded view of me from the outside in. I did it because i wanted to confirm and validate my own thoughts about me, and to get a reality check. The amusing irony of being called “arrogant” when you asking people what you have got wrong was lost on most.

Don’t think i did it because i want other people to tell me who i am. I wanted to see if my own view of myself was consistent with the world at large and realistic. The wonderful surprise was that the world seems to think better of me than my own heart does. I have taken note of the issues about being angry, arrogant and patronising, and will be working on those things now i’ve seen how heavily they’ve featured.

I can now honestly say with authority that very few people in this life thing i am scary or nasty. I have proof.

The full survey results are here:

http://www.azcameron.co.uk/honesty01.html

Here’s the general overview.

  • 64% of respondents were female, with only 11% of the total being involved with me romantically. The time of knowing me was very, very evenly distributed. Most had no idea what i feel about them and said our relationship was OK.
  • 14% have something they can’t tell me, and 6% are hiding something from me.
  • 1 person said they were scared of me, 97% said they weren’t. 90% said they didn’t know anyone who was scared of me. 61% said i was “an angry person”,
  • 78% said i’d never hurt them, and 66% said i’d never offended them. It was 50/50 about apologising and making up for it. 66% said i wasn’t jealous or possessive.
  • 88% said i’d never lied to them. 88% said i am trustworthy.
  • 73% said i wasn’t a hypocrite.
  • 65% said they didn’t feel i love and care about them enough.
  • 78% believe i am a forgiving person and would forgive them if they upset me. 84% think i am a loving person, with 56% believing i am patient & understanding.
  • 59% would vote for me as prime minister, and 82% said their first impression of me lasted.

In terms of good qualities, the top ones were:

  1. Have character (99%)
  2. Funny/amusing (72%)
  3. Good company (71%)
  4. Independent (71%)
  5. Strong (71%)
  6. Honest 69%
  7. Enthusiastic 65%
  8. Integrity 65%
  9. Inspiring 63%
  10. Supportive 63%
  11. Generous 62%
  12. Have x-factor/charisma 60%
  13. Open-minded 60%

The least chosen was “calm” (19%0.

In terms of bad qualities:

  1. Arrogant (70%)
  2. Proud (63%)
  3. Stubborn (57%)
  4. Angry (38%)
  5. Impatient (32%)

The least chosen were “unfair” (5%), “unforgiving” (5%) and “dishonest” (3%).

The full survey results are here:

http://www.azcameron.co.uk/honesty01.html

————————————————————————————

Describe me in 1 word:

complex (3), amazing (3), arrogant (2), caring, Confident, Egotistical, energetic, Fascinating, fun, ignorant, intense, sweet, Scary, A true JEDI, Active, agitator, arrogant-paranoid-genius, Bee, blinkered, blunt, bombastic, Brave, busy, Challenging, cheeky, clever, CONFLICTED, connected, cunt, Determined, Driven, Egomaniac, egotist, Entrepreneur, Entrepreneurial, esoteric, explorative, Extraordinary, Friend, fucked, fucked up, funny, genuine, Giver, GREAT!, hilarious, Honest, indulgent, intelligent, interesting, Jedi, Knowledgeable, lion,  loud, mad, Multi-faceted, musical, my lovely son, nice guy, no, outrageous, powerful, self-made, serial smoker, Sharp, sociable, steadfast, twisted, unfulfilled, Unrealistic, wise

Jose wins for saying “bee”. Because, in her words, “bees are dangerous and if you threaten them, they sting you. But when they sting you, they also die in the process. You pollinate people’s lives.” Apparently it’s a humourous reference to how much i lash out and don’t realise the backlash it causes, and her needing to describe me as animal that is ferocious but very vulnerable the same time.

What was your first impression of me?

  • “I do not do impressions.”
  • “silghtly arrognant but something hurting inside”
  • “I thought you were nice”
  • “off the wall, renegade!”
  • “Seems a really nice guy but is trying a bit to hard to be ‘to cool for school’.”
  • “drug fiend”
  • “exhausting”
  • “i didn’t get you”
  • “tortured genius”
  • “You could be cruel and enjoyed making other people laugh by pointing out and focussing on others short comings.”
  • “Interesting and good fun”
  • “Gorgeous”
  • “big hair……..then you were SOOOOOO cool, rebelious, confident and naughty!”
  • “Confident and slightly pompous”
  • “An interesting guy, on a journey, thoughtful and with bags of potential”
  • “Clever guy - doing lots of interesting things”
  • “Incredibly charming, intelligent and caring with a soothing and calm voice.”
  • “An ordinary guy”
  • “Smart, savvy, friendly, cocky!”
  • “I can’t remember I met you when I was 3.”
  • “Whirlwind”
  • “Chain smoking leather wearing nutter”
  • “A wonderful loving baby”
  • “Full On!”
  • “uuuh, can barely remember we were so drunk at red chilli.. and it was lunchtime… you had the same sense of humour as me and we knew it was the start of one hell of a year! A year of turmoil, laughter, fear and running away… it was fucking awesome… no one can see we never lived…”
  • “Dynamo”
  • “Hmmm. If I remember rightly you were walking around our house in t-shirt and boxers only… So… Outgoing was probably one of my first.”
  • “friendly”
  • “Adonis! Can I touch?”
  • “That you were a nice guy.”
  • “Excited”
  • “why has that twat got a beard”
  • “Likeable. Funny. Interesting.”
  • “I think meeting you Alex back in October dispelled the suspicion that anyone with a modicum of money/success/ connections or influence would automatically be aligned purely with their own self-interest of their class. Despite how busy you keep yourself you’ve always found time to advise on the humble little EveryonesHome.org.uk and I’ll always appreciate that, even if we have a argument or whatever and end up loathing each other… First impressions proper though? Media Tart. hehe….”
  • “bloody hell…”
  • “Very funny, interesting”
  • “Charming but not naturally”
  • “you blew me away, I told all my friends you would be running the country very soon!!! a bit of a toff!! hee hee”
  • “very sweet, but still in the process of finding yourself”
  • “I didn’t really like you Alex when I first met you, you were quite frightening back then and came accross as being very very angry and able to crush me with a few words.”
  • “You were trying to be something you’re not. You believed yourself to be a nasty, rude person who put yourself out there as something very extreme. When, really, I saw you were actually sweet, charming and more faith than you gave yourself credit for.”
  • “confident and spoke alot”
  • “Good guy with a lot of life experiences….goodoke!”
  • “Fun, chatty”
  • “A self assured person knowing his own limitations of a situation to maintain the staus quo of a rather ice cool demeanour.”
  • “Angry”
  • “Someone who can understand and easy talking with me. A friend”
  • “Professional; determined; a touch arrogant”
  • “interesting”
  • “closed”
  • “You seemed pretty cool when i was young.”
  • “witty”
  • “Pretty cool, definitely someone who knows their stuff.”
  • “in need of a little enlightenment and gratitude”
  • “opinionated. not worried about being honest”
  • “Friendly. Positive. Chilled out”
  • “Funny, loud and a bit different to the rest of the Christians!!”
  • “Thought you were quite like me.”
  • “very rude(arrogant) a bit full of it knows what he wants”
  • “Fascinating character, buzzing, interesting, I want to get to know this guy”

If you could give me one piece of advice, what would it be?

  • “Be honest with yourself and with those around you.”
  • “listen to better music!”
  • “Let things go that are in the past”
  • “Don’t let others affect you”
  • “We all think the world revolves around us, and people that say thats not how they think are liers. However most people keep it to themselves where you on the other hand let everyone know that you think you are the centre of the universe. A touch of humility is needed.”
  • “to listen to your advice”
  • “how to work a pc properly”
  • “put yourself in others peoples shoes before making decisions”
  • “Make sure that your failings are not just because you think some one else put you there. Be careful with how much you think you don’t care what others think.”
  • “relax and try to enjoy life a little more. Get a break and take the time to look around and appriciate what you have not what you haven’t.”
  • “Look after you after yourself a bit more”
  • “Tell Kelly to fuck off as your worth more than being treated like that. send her back to her ex as its the best revenge”
  • “Dont worry about what others think of you.”
  • “Winning an argument won’t fill a void.”
  • “Do an Alpha Course at HTB / St Saviour’s Guildford Do a term at L’abri Philippians 4: 4-9″
  • “Talk to me more often”
  • “Don’t ever get back with [name removed]!!”
  • “Let God help you deal with your anger and let God bless you”
  • “Take my clothes off really slowly in about an hour”
  • “Very difficult to sum you up in one word. Your my oldest and dearest friend. Stop being so harsh about your self. - I’ll do it instead!”
  • “You don’t know everything. And you’re certainly not a medium. Intuition is not always right. Chill out a bit. Other than that no advice for you Cameroon.”
  • “stand up for yourself”
  • “Keep on following your heart and don’t give up…”
  • “never forget.”
  • “carry on as you are”
  • “Don’t ever take my advice!”
  • “something helpful - more on CVs please!”
  • “Wear Sunscreen!”
  • “keep working hard, cause hard work pays off.”
  • “ditch God” (well done for the capital “G”)
  • “simplify, simplify, simplify? :)”
  • “Balance, in life, love, friendship, work”
  • “be yourself”
  • “chill out!”
  • “??? get off your arse and make some serious make-up career decisions!”
  • “get to know yourself better, before you try to understand others.”
  • “Listen”
  • “Stop concerning yourself with other people’s perceptions of you. Just be the good person you are and stop putting up fronts that you are cold and mean. It seems you expect that people won’t like who you really are so you exhibit cold behavior in an attempt to turn them off to you initially. Give people a chance to like or dislike you. It’s not so scary to be liked. You’re wonderful Alex.”
  • “maybe not advice but you show true love to your nephew”
  • “stay in touch!”
  • “Think about others rather than yourself a little more.”
  • “Keep on seeking to know Jesus. I know you’ve been searching and are probably already there. It’s been a while since we talked. I know that this has been blunt. I certainly haven’t intended to offend you. I believe I’ve been honest. (BTW I’m sure you can figure out who I am.)”
  • “keep in touch with mickeymarmite”
  • “Friend are always there for you.”
  • “Relax, becone more focussed, continue to forgive”
  • “listen more, engage more often with your right brain capacity rather than the left brain regurgitative intellect.”
  • “stop asking stupid questions”
  • “Keep doing what you’re doing!! You’re fine as you are xx”
  • “Sleep? And keep us informed on Killstream, it would be superb to maybe see you gigging soon!”
  • “If I, the question answerer could give you one piece of advice it would be, change your thinking: choose love not fear. Fear is so easy, it’s all you know, it’s all we know as humans. It’s so easy to lock horns and fight, especially as a man. Choosing love is very, very difficult. Imagine boy A, boy B scenario and boy B having to love boy A unconditionally all the time he thought he might lose something he loved? Boy B needs to be the bigger person and love the whole situatiton to change in loves direction. Hate is easy, love takes courage and Alex, you’ve got bags of courage! Go for it! Love to your beautiful, troubled and open soul. xxx”
  • “wake up from your long, long sleep of ego and unconsciouness patterns and programming, time to hit the shift button in your brain of knowing without factual explanation! A Fucking Men! x”
  • “never let a man walk all over me”
  • “Be good to those that genuinely care for your well being and love you but who don’t necessarily get to see you all the time”
  • “Commit random acts of kindness”
  • “Don’t sweat the small stuff”
  • “Focus”
  • “how to make something of myself”
  • “Get in touch more often and stop being such a sensitive bastard (oops, two)”

Tom wins the prize for the nastiest ass-kicking, which i won’t reprint as it’s quite severe.

The ultimate crown goes to the *bloke* who wrote this:

“We met on a busy platform at Gloucester Rd tube. The platform was very busy, there was no room, people were pressing into each other to prevent themselves falling on the track. It was at that moment I felt a sharp prick in my bottom, I started to feel drowsy. The next thing I remember was awakening to a surgeon telling me I would be requiring a colostomy bag for some time to come. I haven’t actually met Alex personally, although traces of his DNA were found all over my underwear.”

Genius.

The full survey results are here:

http://www.azcameron.co.uk/honesty01.html

07
May

what you’d say to me if you weren’t scared

By Alex Cameron 0 Comments
Categories: Jedi Skills, Life, Rants, Romance, Surveys and Wisdom

I was inspired by the combination of something i saw on Em’s Facebookand what i re-read in Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits enough to try an experiment. It occurs to me that we’re all looking for safety in our friends and the people we love, and loving someone is about providing that safety for them to be able to open up, heal and be happy inside and when they are with us.

In Covey’s book, he asks the simple [paraphrased] question “What would you do if you weren’t scared?”

I have a slightly different question. We carry things on our heart that we can’t say, things that are too painful to talk about. Things we desperately need to say but feel we can’t for whatever reason - because we’re scared, ashamed, isolated or will be rejected painful if we do. Things that it’s not safe to say.

I want to open up the door and make it safe. Maybe there are things you need and want to say to me, but feel you can’t. Maybe you think i’ll hurt you, lash out at you or reject you if you say them. I want to meet you where you are and make it safe for you to say what you need to, without the fear that your worst fear will happen if you do. If you need to say it, i want you to be able to. So i want to put out an amnesty.

My question to you is:

“What would you say to me if you weren’t scared?”

Say it to me in person or email me - do it anon if you need to. All you have to do is make the title of the mail like that and i promise you, in writing here as your guarantee, on pain of death, that there will be no consequence whatsoever. It will be in complete confidence, and there will be no reaction whatsoever. No anger, no rejection, no coldness, no awkwardness. Just say what you need to and let me meet you there and accept it as it is. Nothing will happen afterwards, even a month or a year later. I promise you it here.

27
Feb

highlights from the durex global sex survey

By Alex Cameron 0 Comments
Categories: Life, Romance and Surveys

The title speaks for itself. After checking with Kel, it would seem we’re doing rather nicely so far :)

  • People worldwide are having sex for the first time at an average age of 17.7;
  • Women are sexually active earlier than men - at 17.5 compared with 17.8;
  • Young people are having sex for the first time at a younger age than previous generations - while the over 45s were 18.2 and 21-24 year olds were 17.5, 16-20 year olds were just 16.5;
  • Almost three in 10 (29%) say they were 16 or under when they lost their virginity;
  • More than a third (35%) have had unprotected sex without knowing their partner’s sexual history;
  • Almost a quarter (24%) of 16-20 year olds admit to having taken this risk at least once and the figure rises to more than half in the 35-plus age group;
  • More than half of men globally (59%) would be willing to take the male contraceptive pill - but less than half of women would trust a man to take it responsibly;
  • Half of all respondents are more worried about HIV/AIDS than any other sexually transmitted infection (STI);
  • Women are far more concerned about the possibility of unplanned pregnancy than men, 30% compared to 20%;
  • Globally, people are having sex an average of 103 times a year with women (106) having sex more frequently than men (101);
  • 35-44 year olds are having the most sex (116) compared to just 91 times for the 16-20 age group;
  • On average, people across the world spend 19.7 minutes on foreplay with men claiming to spend more time than women - 20.2 and 18.8 respectively;
  • The younger age groups take the longest - 21.6 minutes for 16-20 year olds and 19.1 for 21-24 year olds compared to 17.3 minutes for the over 55s;
  • The British spend the most time on foreplay (22.5 minutes), followed closely by the Germans (22.2), the Irish (21.8) and the Spanish (21.7);
  • While more than a third (35%) have an orgasm every time they have sex, men are far more likely to do so than women - 45% compared to 17%;
  • More experienced lovers are most likely to have an orgasm every time they have sex with almost half of those in the 35-plus age group (48%) claiming to do so, compared to less than a third (32%) of 16-20 year olds;
  • A quarter of people have faked an orgasm in the past 12 months - although there is a major difference between the sexes with almost four in 10 women (39%) faking it compared to 17% of men;
  • People around the world have had an average number of 10.5 sexual partners;
  • More than a quarter (27%) have had only one partner while 21% have had sex with more than 10 people;
  • Men have had more sexual partners than women - 12.4 compared to 7.2;
  • More than a third (35%) watch pornography with their partner, 22% indulge in blindfolds or handcuffs and one in five uses sex toys;
  • Watching pornography with their partner is more popular with women (38%) than men (33%) as is wearing blindfolds or handcuffs - 27% for women and 19% for men;
  • More than a quarter (27%) own a vibrator or intimate massager, rising to more than a third of both 25-34 year olds and those in the 45-plus age group;
  • Globally, the top three sexual enhancers are pornography (35%), pleasure enhancing condoms (27%) and lubricants (22%);
  • Almost half (49%) of those aged 35-44 have used pornography to add extra spice to their sex lives compared to 40% of 21-24 year olds and 32% of 25-34 year olds;
  • Vibrators are more popular with women (20%) than men (14%) and men are more likely to have used a product which prolongs sexual ntercourse;
  • A toned body (14%) - with the bottom (15%) and breasts and chest (14%) in particular - are the sexiest features. Men focus most on the breasts while women think eyes are the most sexy;
  • One in 10 believe attitude is the sexiest factor while age, wealth and hair colour (all just 1%) are the least important things;

More here: http://www.durex.com/cm/gss2004Content.asp?intQid=391&intMenuOpen=

20
Feb

feb: what people are searching for

By Alex Cameron 0 Comments
Categories: Misc and Surveys

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04
Jan

false profiles rife on fakebook

By Alex Cameron 0 Comments
Categories: Life, Misc, MySpace and Surveys

My dear friends over at NetImperative are running a press release from MoneySupermarket.com about social networking sites (e.g. MySpace, Facebook, Bebo etc), and it’s quite fascinating reading.

  • 51% of people confessed up to 3 in 10 of their listed friends are not real friends;
  • 3% admitted to creating a false profile to establish a new online identity;
  • 84% people would allow an ex-partner as their friend;
  • 9% admitted they use social networking to see what their ex’s are up to;
  • 42% would not accept someone they know through work;
  • 45% use social sites to let their friends know what they’re doing;
  • 19% look for like-minded people (53% of over-45s);
  • 15% had been dumped by text or email (although 25% of those in the most tech-savvy 18 to 24-year-old age group would choose the traditional method — a letter);
  • 26% say they don’t trust social sites but 70% of those people don’t set the highest level of security on their social networking page.

The survey sampled 2,194 adults between 26 and 28 November 2007. The survey was carried out online. The figures have been weighted and are representative of all UK adults (aged 18+).

More: http://www.netimperative.com/news/2008/january/3/…

15
Nov

5 Minutes Of Wonder

By Alex Cameron 0 Comments
Categories: MySpace and Surveys

1. If you were to find out you had got someone pregnant tomorrow, how would you feel?
I’ve had this, so I now how I felt then, but not sure how I would feel now. I guess the best way to answer this is to be completely honest. Back then, it wasn’t right and I didn’t want it at all, and consequently she went through hell for my selfishness. Because of what she went through, I’d never let anyone go through that ever again. I’ve told my current SO (you know who she is) that if it ever happened, I’d accept my responsibility and step up to the plate to be the man I had to be.

2. Do you trust your friends?
I trust everyone, I just don’t trust the devil inside them. Actually I’m lying, I don’t trust anyone. Being an evil Machiavellian, people are of use to me or fit into my interests, aside from the small inner circle of family and friends who I love passionately. Often its useful to keep those who are untrustworthy close to you as they can be of great service in some situations.

3. Would you move to another state or country to be with the person you love?
I’d have to love them to the point where I couldn’t live without them, but I’d never move somewhere sacrificially just for them to sit around like a lemon. There would have to be a concrete advantage to me for being there and a life I could pursue individually. If I could fit my own life around their plans and we could make the move mutually, yes. Otherwise, no.

4. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
I do, and I don’t believe in coincidence. You can see the positive side in everything and look at angles you never saw before to learn lessons and grow as a person. Things in the past happened so you could be the person you are today, and we are part of a larger interdependent universe that is out of our immediate control. In the midst of all the chaos there is an invisible order that directs the steps we make in life and puts us in a certain place at a certain time for a certain reason.

5. Name two things you would NOT tolerate in a relationship
Its amazing how much you learn to tolerate over time that you wouldn’t have at the beginning. I always thought I wouldn’t tolerate physical violence or possessiveness, but I did. I’m stronger now though, so those 2 things would almost certainly be a) hypocrisy/unfairness, and b) being manipulative. One thing I won’t stand for is when there is one rule for her and one rule for me, and I certainly won’t have anyone playing games with me and deliberately trying to coerce me in any way.

6. Which one of your friends do you think would make the best room mate for you?
They’d have to be patient and forgiving as I’m an absolute chaotic mess, and thoroughly irresponsible. Most of my friends are incredibly laid back and tolerant, even though I’m highly strung and judgemental. Right now, Em and I would do very well, as would Marce, Beth, Shaun and Andy. I might just get a house in South London and move them all in so don’t have to eal with random psychos that would apply to adverts in Loot.

7. Can you deal with people who are too concerned with status?
I have to every day, although they are of a different calibre to the social kind. I actually feel very sorry for people who are as they clearly are on a fool’s errand that will never make them happy, endlessly chasing the superficial when their emptiness is spiritual. Nowadays I just laugh flippantly as if I took them more seriously I’d end up punching someone. Manipulate, show off, boast, promote, I couldn’t care less. You’ll never be close to me and that’s fine by me thanks very much.

8. Are you afraid of falling in love? Why or why not?
Definitely, although its often true to say that’s not intimacy we fear, but the consequences of intimacy. When it goes wrong it hurts, but when it takes control the world is a truly wonderful place. Some of the most beautiful works of art, acts of sacrifice and greatest triumphs of human nature have been inspire by love. Falling love means opening up, being vulnerable and in some ways out of control. As long as they feel the same its OK, but otherwise it’s a very painful exercise.

9. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times throughout the day?
Lots of people, as I have a fiercesome mind that never stops working or thinking to the point where I don’t sleep for days on end. Em pops into it more often than others as I’m in love with her and can’t stop thinking about, such is the golden haze of romance. The people I know are part of a network so I’m always discovering new ways to put them together. I remember everything my friends say and so they’re always in the back of my mind.

10. Would you stop talking to your friends because you hooked up with a new guy/girl?
I have, although I never wanted to. Some of my friends are absolutely dreadful for this (cough – Tanner, McKelvie – cough), and it does get a little silly. Naturally you want to spend as much time with your beloved and your friendships are strong enough to handle it, but its not healthy or balanced to just spend time with one person or a group of people. Its important to have a rounded life with different people and experiences. I’m bloodyminded so its quite a struggle for me

11. Name one person from your friends list that you could call to come to your rescue if you got a flat tire.
God most of them could actually, as another characteristic of my friends is they are considerably independent, intelligent and strong minded. I’d probably call Andy as he’s one of these chaps that knows all things masculine and has the laid back dark humour that you’d need in a frustrating situation like that. I could call on any others though, and 2nd choice would be Gareth or Marce.

12. From your friends list, who can you call in the middle of the night if you need to talk?
Well I’m the guy people usually call in the middle of the night as they know I don’t sleep and am always up until the early hours. And they know they can call me and I’ll be there, which is amazing and a true blessing. I’d never dream of calling anyone if I was worried, with the only exception of when I was in the midst of a panic attack. In that case it would be someone in family to help me feel sake when the world feels like its collapsing around me.

13. What qualities do you find most attractive in the opposite sex?
Looks-wise, I’ve always gone for dark hair, dark stunning features, long eyelashes, big eyes, devilish eyebrows, tanned skin, medium-big boobs and x-factor. But that’s only 30% and won’t get you anywhere. For me the killer feature is something wildly different about them and a strikingly fluent conversational ability. I’ve always gone for artistic types, with stunning charisma, compassion, sensitivity, social butterfly charm and elegance. Look at a picture of Emma and you’ll see my “her”, the one that every guy has in his head and subconsciously wants to find.

14. Fill in the blank. I would NEVER have kids with a person who…..
Is an alcoholic, gambling, sex or drug addict, is physically violent, has so many emotional baggage issues they are unable to function, is unstable or a victim, stupid or reckless, cold or unemotional, could easily leave me or the little ones, is dependent on me for everything, the list could go on forever. If you want to have my kids, you’re going to have to pass some serious tests where the bar is set very high. My children will never be exposed to harm or neglect if I can help it.

15. What is your number one priority in life?
I answered this recently, but I’ll approach it again from an existential angle. To live a rich and full life where I achieve things that last for generations. Everything I do is about the bigger picture or the legacy; the history I leave behind and my greater contribution to the human race or what I pass on. I play big because life is short and I want to be remembered and have the crowd at my funeral spilling over into the street.

16. What can you tell about a person by kissing them?
Mainly how passionate or sensitive they are. And of course whether they watched the washing machine when they were practising in a mirror. Kissing is a very intimate and sensitive thing, and for a lot of people it’s a distraction to get out of the way so they can don to fucking someone. For me, kissing is everything. Its not foreplay, it’s the only thing. Prostitutes don’t kiss on the mouth as its an act of love, When I want to express my love for Zair, I kiss him on the cheek and tell him we all love him. Kissing rocks. One day Em is going to get fed up of me kissing her all the time.

17. When you get married, for the first time or again, what would you envision your dream wedding to be?
I haven’t given this one a lot of thought really, as it’s the bride’s domain and I’ve given up any hope of having any say in it before I get told the same when its actually having. It’ll be a very, very big affair and cost an enormous amount of money. Somewhere remote in a beautiful chapel, possibly at night, fireworks, massive 30 piece band, hundreds of people, a whole weekend party and then a long honeymoon in the Seychelles.

18. If you could say just one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
I couldn’t possibly say just one thing, which the size of my blogs testifies to. Watch what I do not what I say. I believe in you. You can do anything by just having the will to do what the other guy won’t. Change is the only constant in life. Wisdom is the goal, not knowledge. All I will do, is what has been given to me to do. I am the guardian of what is to come, not its owner. Whatever happens, know that you are loved and that I love you. I remember and will repay. I will go through the fire first, all you have to do is follow me.

19. If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended period of time, name some people you would want to see by your side when you open your eyes.
All that I think about when I hear the word coma is the scene in Kill Bill when they are pimping out the brain-dead vegetables on life support to perverts and supplying them with Vaseline. I wouldn’t want to wake up from a coma if it was that bad. If I had to compile a list for my will, it would probably be composed of my sis and Zair, Emma, Shaun, Jase, Marce, Kerri and my mum. There would probably be more of course, but I don’t think they’d all fit in the ward. Most would probably turn up to see how long it would be until I’m dead.

20. How many kids do you want to have?
Fucking shitloads. And I mean loads, more than 5 but less than 10, with the caveat that I’d only have them if I was financially affluent and able to give them all a great quality of life. My wife will be walking like a gunslinger for years afterwards and need a lot of plastic surgery for the stretch marks. I just imagine and love the idea of the chaos at Christmas as you’d need a table for dozens of people and giving the toast from the head of the table looking out onto your empire would feel amazing.

21. Would you make you a good parent?
I never thought so, but I’m beginning to change my mind. I want to be the best dad imaginable, an amazing father whose kids no without doubt that he loves them more than anything in the world and respects them as individual adult people. My worst fear is turning into my father, as he’s a great taxi driver but an utterly useless role model, friend or confidant. My kids would be driven mad as I know I’ll be endlessly fascinated by them and also totally useless at trying to be strict or holding back my affection when I probably should be more dignified.

14
Nov

A Passing Conversation With Myself

By Alex Cameron 0 Comments
Categories: MySpace and Surveys

1. Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?
Erm no I don’t think I have, although I have blown on it to polish it with a damp cloth which is what you are supposed to do apparently. Does anyone actually use CDs any more? The last ones I got were freebies from a friend at Sony Music, which I converted into MPEG-4 AAC as with all the music files I have. There are a lot of people who are still listening to cassettes, including my dad.

2. Have you ever puked at a bar or club?
Not as often as I would have liked to. The most memorable puking incident I remember was my friend Brad vomiting down the corner pocket of a pool table before standing on and pulling his trousers down. I’ve puked in some unceremonious places though, like trains, cars, out of 2nd floor windows and more. I’m generally dignified considering the state I used to get myself in.

3. What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you have dated?
I’ve always been of the opinion that 18 months different either way is an acceptable limit, but I’m flexible as long as they have enough maturity that I don’t have to suffer any stupid childish crap or emotional baggage issues. Funnily enough, I think the answer to this is actually my current SO,(Emma) who is around 5 years younger than me.

4. Have you ever dated someone you met online?
I have, and its becoming the preferred way of doing things for most of the people I know now as it allows you screen someone and get to know them first before taking the plunge. There is always the risk that they aren’t quite who they make themselves out to be, but being able to work out if you’re compatible before you spend 6 months and a lot of money and effort with them is a pretty handy risk to bet on.

5. Have you ever smoked pot at a concert?
I’ve smoked pot everywhere. Our group of friends’ challenge was to get smashed in the weirdest places possible, and the competition was fierce. The overall winner was Pete, who snorted coke in the toilets in the Buckingham Palace and coming up when he met the Queen, who was presenting his dad with an OBE for services to engineering.

6. Have you ever dated/fooled around with a co-worker?
I have, but it’s a very bad idea. When its good, its good, but when its bad, its hell. You also need distance from people in order to appreciate them as individuals, and you can’t do that when you’re with them every second of the day. Its for that reason that I’ll never get involved in a business where I’m romantically entwined with the founder.

7. If so, how did that turn out?
The most memorable one was a 40-something woman who worked in the department opposite who neglected to tell me she was married. I stopped it and bizarrely enough she got fired a few days later for something unrelated. It was fun while it lasted as I was so fucking bored working there. Many years later I’m well past that.

8 Have you ever been involved in a hit and run?
Not involving another human being as I couldn’t run if I’d seriously hurt someone. The worst I’ve had the acute displeasure to be in was when a cat ran into my headlights when I was around 18. It was absolutely awful and I felt terrible for a very long time. I remember going home and cuddling my own cat for a while afterwards, as gay as that sounds.

9. Were you popular in school?
Kind of. I was the ringleader of the main group of rebels in our year for 3 years or so, but just got so fed up with how stupid they were that I fell out with them and did my own thing. Our groups of friends knew all the girls, did all the drugs, got thrown out of all the classes and spent days on end drunk. We didn’t give a fuck about anyone and no-one messed with us at all, amusingly.

10. Have you ever been on a blind date?
Not a formal one really, as not knowing what someone looks like is a recipe for disaster in my book. Its amazing how crucial looks are in a person in forming our opinions about them. I’ve met a lot of people personally or in business and flirted heavily but the idea of doing a blind date smacks of 80s cheese and outright desperation.

11. Are looks important?
See above. In life generally they are. For me personally, not as much as they were before. Some of the most beautiful girls are so ugly on the inside because of their arrogance and princess mentality. A plain looking girl can just be amazingly beautiful if who she is shines through. You come to realise that looks are totally subjective and are in the eye of the beholder anyway.

12. Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 10 years or more?
Several, and I’m glad of it as it helps me to regain my footing when I’m lost and understand where I am then in terms of where I’ve come from. Piers, Marce, Tom, Kate, Andy and my college buds come to mind that in regard/ I’m going to know all of them for the rest of my life and it’s a very comforting thought.

13. By what age would you like to be married?
I always thought I’d never get married, but a lot of that is to do with the cynical nature of my parents’ relationship and getting irritated with the view 99% of girls share that marriage is about a lovely day where you declare your love in public, and the 50 years afterwards are just details. I’ve put a limit on myself that I should be married and have a little one on the way by 35.

14. Does the number of people a person’s slept with affect your view of them?
I’d love to claim I’m a forgiving guy for whom it doesn’t matter, but it does. Saying that though, it does depend on the number and the situation. If their attitude is that sex is just a physical urge to be indulged like going to the loo, then I stay the hell away from them. These days its ok to have experimented and have had a varied sex life, but I more than a few a year is an alarm bell in my mind.

15. Have you ever sacrificed yourself so your friend can get in good with a person of the opposite/same sex?
When I was younger definitely, but I’m too ruthless now. I was always the guy with the mind they talked to whereas the others were the ones with the looks. I was also very cold and distant which didn’t help. Guys call that sacrifice “taking one for the team” and everyone has to do it some day. Its easier to do when you realise you don’t have a chance, but if you’re evil like me, you let them get on with and be there to pick up the pieces afterwards and have the last laugh.

16. Have you ever drank milk that was past the expiration date?
By accident, but not deliberately as I’m too paranoid about being laid out for days and not being to do what I need to. In fact I always smell milk regardless of how old it is from too many experiences of assuming its OK and getting a very lumpy and bitty drink as a result when it had been there for a few days. It’s the one thing that everyone fights over in a houseshare too, so a great revenge idea.

17. Have you ever made a mistake?
OK this has to be the stupidest question I’ve ever answered, but its MySpace, so I’ll humour it. Mistakes are the only things we learn from as success is only validated. People frantically break down if they make them, which is a silly ingrained attitude that retards you. Oscar Wilde famously said experience was the name people give to their mistakes.

18. Are you a good tipper?
Most of the time, although some days I’m mean as anything. Having gone out with a few girls who worked as waitresses I learnt how hard it can be and as a result am a lot more sympathetic. The way credit card tips are taxable and added as a top-up for a fixed salary is disgraceful. Rewarding someone for doing a good job is natural and right.

19. What’s the most you have spent for a haircut?
Currently around £80 or so at Toni & Guy, as my bush is so unmanageable, unstyled and chaotic that it needs an art director to make something of it. I’m always astounded by the prices women pay for their hair and the lengths they go to for a few hours. I remember overhearing the cashier in Camden charging a customer £200 for nothing remotely noticeable and the customer was smiling as she paid it.

20. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
I can honestly say I haven’t, although some of my friends are teachers and life must be hell for their students. Charlotte’s a great example, as at our reunion we were all laughing at how impossible it would be to be in English class with her walking around and pointing at things with her cane. Our teachers at school were filthy, and I gave one a virtual nervous breakdown.

21. Do you know all the words to the first verse of Ice Ice Baby?
My sis told Emma I used to play this a lot which was slightly embarrassing, but I’m happy to say that I don’t have a clue. Play it to me and I might of course. All I remember is some guy with a huge quiff doing press-ups on Top Of The Pops to a David Bowie riff.

22. Have you ever had crispy bangs?
No idea. Possibly.

23. Have you ever singed off your eyelashes?
Not yet, but I probably will do someday. I have however singed off the hair on the front of my head a few times after coming home drunk and trying to light a cigarette from the oven hob. Naturally in my stupor I forgot to tilt my head sideways and just plonked my head into the flames. Not once, a few times, yes. And I’m supposed to be a genius apparently.

24. What was the worst hairs