Like you, I had a positively shit start in life — and like you, no one nurtured my potential (I have such a love/hate for that word). I have harboured darkness and bitterness in my heart and soul for the longest time.

It took until the beginning of this year for me to figure out that I actually had to CHOOSE happiness. I mean I’m sure I’d pondered it before, but it was like a sudden explosion of clarity… Maybe I knew I had to choose it but never actually did.

Since then I’ve started seeing the good in everything. I’ve also noticed a bizarre side-effect: when you’re positive more good stuff happens. It’s such a cliché but so true, right?!

I wanted to tell the universe the amazing secret, staring them so blindingly in the face… and then I realised I’d look like that guy, the one who shouts about Jesus by our fountain in town on Saturday afternoons.

People only see preaching until they find it for themselves. They can’t even comprehend what you’re talking about so they poke and run, or follow and nod, without ever really understanding.

It’s so hard to see people close to you unable to be happy, especially when you can see all their good stuff. I wish I knew the secret to helping others see the choice, or perhaps more importantly, helping them choose it. I can only deduce that most people are either totally blind, or happy being miserable. Perhaps they prefer to moan and whine than live and laugh.

I had a very upsetting time recently, and instead of hiding away (as would be the norm,) I chose to look outward instead of in. I’m not religious, mostly due to the childhood crap, but I found myself having a very spiritual moment. I had another, even greater, a few days later.

I haven’t told anyone about that yet, I’m trying to word it right so I don’t scare them. When you’ve been a certain way your whole life and you change, people tend to worry, especially if you’re happier. “Stay miserable, you’re scaring me!”

I love your passion, after reading your site for a while I’m overwhelmed by it. But then that’s my nature, drink it in until you burst.

Thank you for the read — I think your blog just became staple diet =)

Lila
x

“And why we’re on that subject, why is that every single woman has a “baby pouch” they hate, and they know for a 100% fact that every model in a magazine also has one that is always, always airbrushed out, do they still have such a hang up about it? That piece of the body is for elasticity whilst pregnant and for protection of the reproductive system? It’s also really sexy for some unknown reason to guys. Flat stomach = sexually available to mate, no pouch = androgynous/damaged.”

This is why I don’t like coffee,and have my role so to speak:
“I guess i need to be with someone who understand and appreciates that i don’t have all the templates and models in my head for it and need some latitude in learning them. Someone that is willing to make me feel safe in return so i can grow with them, even if they’re retarded too. Maybe the word is “forgiving”. I need someone to shower it on who won’t damn me and can see the person inside me wanting to reach out, because then there is no Volcano Man. A little character and a little safety could bring out the very best in me, and a lot of times it has.

i think this is the key in a relationship, ” Just hold my hand while i do.”

Film wise, I enjoyed the Bucket List the other night, but it wasn’t fantastic. With Morgan and Jack, it was going to be good .

What did you make of “Teeth”?

Best paragraph, so to speak was this one:
“City life and fashion trends dictate this silly message that you should aim to be like everyone else. What an absurd idea. Me love me, and i love being me now. I have a confidence to go against the grain and just push very honestly and passionately to be different – take different angles, take risks, and allow people to surprise you. It’s more important to step out then stay in.”

I have more risks to take, and actually have to re emerge to the world more, having indulged in my comfort zone for a few years. That did however take courage to step away from the supposed career direction and commuting life I was heading. Unfortunately (like most people I believe) I too dread family parties and knowing what people want to hear in answer to the predictable questions, surrounded by the intrinsic knowledge of family politics.
So before this goes off on too much of a tangent, I say good for you, be happy and have fun!

By the way,unless you enjoy my silence, you need to email me as I am a computer idiot, or something much funnier were your precise words, but I have been unable to email you despite the auto reply message.

Its the bling, the hair, the copy of an already tired and bad act, not my cuppa i’m afraid

Tom wins the prize for the nastiest ass-kicking, which i won’t reprint as it’s quite severe.

Well I am sorry it was nasty, (we have spoken on email since but just thought I would publicly) it was just the fact that we have always had an open and honest relationship and I was just carrying on that trend.

You asked for the most bass criticism which I gave. You know it was me cause I certainly didn’t want to hide behind anonymity.

I just want to say that I also think you great in as many ways as I flawed you so I guess you are just as balanced as the rest of us……

It’s nice to be reminded that they will not get away with it, should be a comfort to everyone

We were together briefly in Valencia for the Streaming Media Training. Well, I read this and as usual was amazed by you, and the way you think and write. Its true life is short and we have to keep reassessing priorities. As you mentioned once from The 7 Habits, it helps to think what people would say at your own funeral (to paraphrase a memory). But not, to me, because of what people are saying about me but more because regardless of whether there’s an afterlife (or not), its what we do when we’re here that is important. Its too short to waste.

I love Dead Poet’s Society and the teacher’s expression to Carpe Diem - seize the moment. And as another teacher says:

Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.” What does man gain from all his labour at which he toils under the sun? ….. [read on in Ecclesiastes]

That wise teacher (Solomon?) gives me some of my favourite reminders about priorities in life. I hope you also find firm foundations in yours.

As promised I’ve briefly checked your answers..

to start with, Que6. you have a spelling typo, I’m sure you mean electromagnetism.

to continue, Que30. DNA stands for deoxyribonucleic acid.

Que 39. this is the correct spelling of peace ( not peasece) and Que 49. mortgage has two g’s.

Obviously these typos were deliberate. I haven’t the time right know to correct you on the rest.
And yes you are still a very funny guy x I’m aware I’ve bit the carrot x

I’ve had challenges in the past with Ex-boyfreinds. Namely if you have to educate somebody else on almost everything,all the time, it gets very boring. Eg: Asking “So who was this Marx then?” or after having planned ahead and defrosted two Kievs for dinner before leaving for Uni and work, to return home after a 13 hour day and “happy bunnykins” advises that his Mum always cooks him two chicken kievs for his dinner, so naturally he ate both…( Mind you what he was gorgeous….)

Please do email your answers, if nothing else, because I am selective with regard to whom I speak to (and e-mail) although its not in public..

Therefore, I want to check that you’re answers are correct!

Ha ha amigo

I can’t chastise you but for laughing !

I could not pass all of your questions, but thats ok, as i am honest enough to say so, prepared to learn and discuss, and also able should I ever wish to bother, ask you a set of questions.
Take care amigo, and please email me the answers as my ego can handle it. Sarah x

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMQnuXdfR04&feature=related

Here’s a bit of truth. I was always of the opinion “who took the C out of Rap?” but this guy says it all without the “crap!”

Wake up you morons! x

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DH35qC1D34

* Let your anger out in full in private, no matter how terrifying it seems. Let it out physically, verbally, emotionally and spiritually. Be childish, scream, shout, punch, rage – do whatever you have to, safely and intensely. Do not hold back in any way.
* Let the sadness come. Cry and fall apart. Feel the sadness and keep crying even if you fear you will never stop. Feel the darkness and sheer depression to its fullest. Hold nothing back and go straight into the abyss. Don’t try and save yourself – let it come and do its worst for as long as you need to.
* Rest. Let it all sink in and the tears dry off. Write about how you felt and how you feel after grieving.”

What if you’re English though? What do you do then? Cup of Tea?

Shame the idea of a man being manly and a woman being womanly has gone out the window with the metrosexual and girl power!

Heifer = Freisian? Pretty black and white ….I’d say!

That would be me….Santa baby! x

“The individual is handicapped by coming face to face with a conspiracy so monstrous he cannot believe it exists.” — J. Edgar Hoover

“Once a government resorts to terror against its own population to get what it wants, it must keep using terror against its own population to get what it wants. A government that terrorizes its own people can never stop. If such a government ever lets the fear subside and rational thought return to the populace, that government is finished.” — Michael Rivero

“All warfare is based on deception.” — The Art Of War, Sun Tzu

There is nothing more frightening than active ignorance. – Goethe

more can be seen here:

http://www.moneyfiles.org/quote.html

Poke me baby! x

Congratulations! I appeared as well (though I’m not quite sure how I ended up nominated) - which led Richard Powell to spot my name next to yours and fire me an email…

Just thought I’d say ‘hi’ and say I found your company website interesting - I’ll bear it in mind if we need anything like that in the future (we do search marketing and so sometimes find ourselves discussing online TV-type issues with our clients).

All the best

let me start by saying:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

So once that is fully digested, there could only be one simple answer to your simple question.

Why, not?

X-Ray x

John

I love my Gary.

I wish you good luck

further comments sent to your email x

Points 1 to 50 highly valid and important to remind people of.

Personally apart from spanish I majored in third world studies. I am perhaps more aware than average of certain topics.

Regarding your last paragraph, it is imperative for people to try and address the poverty and neeeds of others. However, despite my degree ( and passion )in order for me to live in this society with a roof over my own head it was necesary to sell my soul to the devil, and gain paid employment in the City / London Insurance market ( Admin at Lloyds post Uni) rather than put my actuall skills to use.

My first job post Uni was unpaid for a fantastic charity called Population Concern. Immediately I was put to good use translating documents for EU financing, editing work for really valid grass root projects etcetera.

Paradoxically…his intrinsically greatly rewarding work could not enable myself to live in our society (rent ,commute etc) even if I gained a paid employment position .

Should anybody read this, I strongly recommend that you look into Population Concern, perhaps to buy christmas cards at least? If nothing else x

…and you thought *I* was vicious the other day…jeez compared that that I’m like Snow White in a frilly dress with pig-tails dancing down the bloody road!! ;o)

Glad you feel better x

Just to pick you up on a point -
There’s no point going around clubs looking for “fit blokes” as they wouldn’t be interested unless they were in a fucking wheelchair or were so drunk they were being carried out on a stretcher into the back of an ambulance

I can understand the drunk finding this person attractive according to your other feelings but why would someone in a wheelchair have a different perspective?
Its not there eyes that are broke…..

That aside, you have anger issues!